The Cellar - Weird News

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Okay, I understand what you're saying.

We're talking about being a careful reader and looking for "spin" in a new story. That's good advice. I advocate that. Yes, it's your fault if you are a sloppy reader. Life isn't a passive activity.

I remind you that they aren't technically telling a lie, just throwing a vague suggestion out there and hoping that you're a sponge that absorbs anything, without assessing it's toxicity.

if you know that a source regularly lies yet you choose not to apply a very critical view of all new information they give you, then yes - you are to blame for being fooled.

This really made me laugh.
I keep reading it and snorting.

From here
Louis Galvan at the Fresno Bee reports:

Quote:

A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

"I tell you, this was one weird case."

That is some funny shiznit.

supervisor: "how'd you get that bruise on your head phil?"

Phil: "I don't want to talk about it."

Super:"And what's that smell? have you been cooking?"

Phil: "I don't want to talk about it."
Super: "Did you hear about that weird burglary last night?"

Phil: "Shut the hell up, I don't want to talk about it!"

snopes says this one is false, but it makes me laugh anyway.

[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:"Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early one Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out.

A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

'Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both be dead,' stated Wallis.

'I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,' said the investigating officer.

On being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole asked how many frogs the boys had caught and whether anyone had gotten them from the truck!

Hey Mythbusters did that one early on:

Quote:

The bullet did work as a replacement fuse, however when a short circuit was created, the wiring burnt up and the bullet did not fire. When the wiring was upgraded to a higher gauge, the bullet did fire out of the fusebox, but not with enough velocity to cause any serious injury. Though both Adam and Jamie admitted that the myth was plausible from their tests, they had to call it busted due to a lack of conclusive evidence...

dar, I first heard that one from Lewis Black.
Don't care if it's real or not, it's funny as hell.

Quote:

With real estate values plummeting and foreclosed homes sitting empty, a family of bobcats apparently decided the time was right to pounce.

So last week, they slipped out of the parched foothills of Lake Elsinore and into a spacious vacant home in well-groomed Tuscany Hills.

Residents of the development got their first look Aug. 27 when the feline squatters -- at least two adults and three kittens -- lolled atop a wall outside the Spanish-style house.

Someone called 911, reporting mountain lions. Four police cruisers showed up, and officers ordered everyone inside. But soon they were out snapping photos along with the neighbors.

Bobcats are not known to attack humans, said Monique Middleton of Animal Friends of the Valley, which provides animal-control services. "But are they pussycats? No. Can they do a lot of damage? Yes," she said. "They usually look for a food-and-water source, and there is an old koi pond in the backyard and that's where they are headed."

She said she expected the animals to move on in a few weeks, when the kittens are old enough to travel.

Tuscany Hills has been hit hard by foreclosures, and the house on Vista Palermo has been empty at least six months, neighbors said.

Said Scott Brown, who with his wife, Karen, moved there from Long Beach to be close to nature: "They are great neighbors, and as long as they don't want to baby-sit my kids, it's not a problem."

--David Kelly

From here:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unle...homeowner.html

They lol-ed atop the wall...

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512 (Post 482508)

snopes says this one is false, but it makes me laugh anyway.

Headlight circuits don't have fuses, but yes, it's a great story.:D

I urge PETA to quit acting like dumb asses. :)

I urge PETA to dissolve itself.

I vote for implode. ;)

THat works too - better in fact!