Sorry, 'spode. I'll lay off from now on.

I'm like infi and Sundae, I walked away with nothing from 2 long term, deeply tangled relationships and it took me sooooo long to get back to where I should have been. Furniture, assets etc...the material stuff.

I'm more "me" aware now, which is why I wont let anyone get me in that situation again and that was colouring my posts.

These things are never even and never fair, youre a good hearted man but you arent an idiot - so I trust your judgement and although I dont trust Selene not to fuck you over (again), I trust you know her better than I and that you know what sits right with you.

Apologies xx

No apologies necessary from anyone. I'm here telling about all this because I *want* the varying viewpoints from my Cellar family. My POV is slanted. Independent input is always valuable in keeping my perspective. *I* apologize for being absent for so long, and only popping back up when I've got some self-pitying to do.

Well :eyebrow:? Where is it :eyebrow::eyebrow:? I've yet to see any self-pitying from you!! Buck UP!

I was pretty lucky when I split from J. Having lived at Mum's for nigh on two years looking for a house to rent, when I did find one that would accept my lousy credit rating and a fully grown bearded collie, J and my bro, who were still business partners, basically furnished my house for me.

As J put it, when we had first split we'd been way broke, and he wasn't able to see me right at the time.

I just wish I'd had more support and understanding from friends and family.
Everyone was angry with me for leaving, and let me know about it.
I think they were also embarrassed at having been to our wedding and celebrated us as the perfect couple and now I was letting them down.

I'd have loved to stay in contact with J. I loved him very much as a friend.
I was too quick to run away in shame rather than face out the disapproval.
I did everything I could to make sure he was okay financially, so as his life collapsed around him he did not have money problems too.

I still have dreams where we've got back together again and it's just not working. I think "What am I going to do?! I can't stay but there's no way I could leave him AGAIN!"
Selene's behaviour will have consequences.
Good luck to her with that.

Oh the actual break up with me and J was pretty messy. The immediate split, was horrible, and many mistakes were made. At one point I did go back. And it was awful having to say actually, ye know what,this really isn't going to work.

I don't know if we'd have been able to pull off the staying friends bit had Martin and J not still been in business together, and me still connected with the company. It kind of forced a degree of contact initially.

Zactly.