J Edgar Hoover, as I live and breathe.

I hope you get a hang nail and it gets bent back when you put your fingers into a file drawer.

I hope your prescription expires

I hope your watch falls off

I hope you blow a blood vessel in your eye

Not you



Just kidding

May all your nightmares come true.

May all your burgers hide molten cheese under the bun.

May all your toast land butter side down.

May all your condoms dissolve.

May all your financial obligations and mistress be late.

I hope your pleas fall on deaf ears

I hope your limbs are all akimbo

I hope your dentist sneezes

I hope you don't get your money's worth at the buffet

Not you

I hope that thing you've laughed at all your life afflicts you in your old age.

I hope you wake up late. Just a little.

I hope the sauce squirts out the back of your burger when you bite it.

I hope your soda goes flat before you can enjoy it.

I hope you step in cold cat yak.

I hope the cat comes in from outside, sits down on your bare foot, and touches it with his cold bunghole.[/actuallyhappenedtoMomdigr]

I hope you develop a neuroma in your foot.

Then step on a lego.

I hope someone leaves your cake out in the rain.

I hope your neighbor's kids form a screamo band.

I hope you get audited

I hope your car horn gets stuck down next time you use it

I hope you run out of wiper fluid

I hope a tree falls in the forest and you're there, but it makes no sound.

I hope ya find a hair in it.

I hope you bet your bottom dollar. And lose

Not you

Ok, you.

Just kidding

I hope you itch.

I hope you have a creeping sense of malaise

I hope you're bored

I hope you're tired of reading this thread

I hope your cable goes out tonight right as Game of Thrones starts

I hope you feel constipated and it makes you cranky

Not you.

Not at all you

I hope you had money on the Penguins.

I hope you're wondering if you've seen one of these twice.

I hope you can't find the scissors

I hope you're wondering if you've seen one of these twice.

I hope you drop your ice cream cone

I hope it's all caught on camera

I hope you get a popcorn husk stuck to your tongue way back in the back and it makes you gag and cry.

I hope you prefer 5 of these at a time

I hope you were about to say some smart ass thing about the two identical lines only counting as one

You. I'm talking to you.

Just kidding