This old dude in my cooking class emailed me today to tell me all about how he thinks my class sucks. I know he's wrong, but I'm seriously bummed. I wrote a long email apologizing for his misunderstanding about what the class would cover, and offered him a refund if he wants it. I hope he takes it, because I do not want to have to teach in front of the crotchety old bastard for the rest of the session.

I don't wish to channel Mitt Romney, but...

You can fire a customer too.

If he takes his money and leaves, great. Out of sight, out of mind. If he doesn't, fire him.

Some men just want to watch the sausages burn.

If he's really a crotchety old man you have no chance to please him NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO!

cut your loses and give yourself a break.

it's funny how 100 people can tell us we're good at something and ONE person can make us doubt ourselves.

You're awesome, Clod. Fuck that fucking fucker.

Seriously. Yeah. refund him, thank him for his "feedback" and move on.

There's the old 1/3 rule: a third of the class will love it, a third will hate it, and a third will be lukewarm. Of the third that hate it, a third of them will be douchebags.

YEAH! Ride on him WITH CLEATS!

Yeah, dude replied to my nice professional email. What he actually did was make in-line comments, highlighted in red. It was nothing but argumentative bullshit like "I never used the word X." He informed me that he would not be sitting through the last two classes, but does not want his money back because he would like to still receive the followup email I send after each class referencing all the websites and other things mentioned that day. Win-win for me!

I'm assuming this is a GFCF cooking class and not more of your white trash grasshopper pie tornado cake cooking class. That might account for his crankiness. The whole IBS thing, I mean. Not the lack of recipes involving mini marshmallows ensconced within lime green jello.

This morning, my 21 year old daughter and 18 year old son got into an altercation and the girl called the police. I am such a proud daddy!

And I have to have a wisdom tooth extracted at 3pm!

Fuck life.

At least the extraction won't interfere with my atrial ablation on Nov.9.

Ouch!

Wow, that's heavy, Spexx. Does the 21-year-old live with you too, or just the 18-year-old? Nobody actually got hurt, right?

:comfort:

Eye luvz ya, Spexx. :eyeball:

Man, Spexx that is rough

They're adults, right?

Take care of yourself Spexx. I hope everything turns out well.

^whs^

Take care of yourself. All the best on Nov. 9th.

Thanks, all. Nobody got hurt, but he fucked up her bedroom door.

Sounds like fixing the bedroom door should be top of his agenda ... it's the least that's due to you, considering he's an adult who messed up a door in YOUR house.

Just thoughts from someone who's been there ... ymmv

Sorry Spex.

They are old enough to act like Adults , ( not squabbling kids )
Treat them as such ,
oh and he gets to fix the door ,
at 18 and 21 unless they are in school they should be paying rent ,
And if any thing like this happens again ALL their stuff would be packed and in a pile for them to pick up as they leave .

Just My Humble Opinion

That reads like poetry, zippyt.

In complete agreement.

If it helps any, Spexx, that kind of thing used to happen at my house when I was growing up all the time.

Once I chased my little sister with a kitchen knife intent on killing her.


We're friends now.

good luck with all the health stuff. What is it with this group? are we getting OLD?????

Weird...We must have the same little sister.

And neither of you cut the little stinker. Ya wimps.

I have Scars from my big sister

My bro's family dog died. Old age. She was an amazing chocolate lab and was in good health until she wasn't, which is what you hope for your pets anyway. Almost one year ago exactly it was the same with my Gaines.

Bless the innocent creatures who enrich our lives, and RIP you very good girl. :(

Amen. Sorry to hear of the loss of such a good fur-friend, infi. Reminds me of my beautiful chocolate lab who died almost two years ago after a not-long-enough time being the most gentle, best-natured sweet girl ever. RIP good girls.

Aww. So sad when they go.

Not so far off the one year mark for my Pilau either. Feels weird knowing Christmas is round the corner. My first Christmas without Pilau. And my first with Carrot.

Had a serious bringing-up-short today with the ex. I've allowed him to come here and be present at some medical appointments while I was having so much trouble getting surgery arranged etc. He was respectful, maintained boundaries, was very helpful. I've been grateful. He has literally made it possible, at times, for me to get from one day to the next.

But today the agenda came out. He wants to get remarried during the holidays this year, either in December or at New Year's, depending on what's better for taxes!! And wants me to 'repay' him $$$ for what he considers to be an inequity in our settlement. And wants me to take on expenses for the kids that he considers 'not school-related'.

Now it feels like his help has just had a price-tag slapped on it: remarriage at the first possible moment. And messing around with our settlement, and demanding that I take on expenses that we agreed would be his ...

With my temporary alimony I can take on the expenses, that was the whole point of the alimony. But I am so upset. I accepted his help honestly, telling him I didn't feel anything for him but gratitude for his help, and specifically nothing romantic. Until now he respected all the boundaries. And now this. I told him no to everything and he left in a huff. This isn't the end of it. I've spent the day unable to focus, having to write two online quizzes and do a ton of academic stuff that didn't get done.

You were right, xoxoBruce. You were right.

Goddamnit. Nobody is worth trusting, not friends, not ex's.

I'm sorry to hear I was right.:(

Addendum - our settlement hasn't even been properly finalized, due to the lawyer's incompetence. The guy never sent me the quit-claim deed for our property, and never did the papers for splitting the pension. At the moment I'm 'up' in my ex's view because the property is worth more than the pension. But they aren't linked; my ex put a number on the property and offered me half of that. It's a little inflated in today's market but won't be in a few years. The pension has done the same as all pensions in recent years and isn't as much as the property, but that's not the point - they aren't linked.

The incompetent lawyer isn't the one I consulted in private; I need to contact MY lawyer now and get his help in enforcing the settlement, clearly. Get the quit-claim deed done, get the pension split, so there aren't any muddied waters. Letting go of the property is a wrench, as I mentioned before - it was always much more MY place, my woods, my gardens, my place (except for the perfect house). But it isn't worth my freedom.

Freedom is scary, though. I know others here are going through the same thing. I don't know whether, in a year and a half, I'll have a job or health insurance. I may be uninsured with cancer. I may have no job to go to, or a job that fails to provide either the insurance I need or the income to pay my medical expenses. I can't return to Canada instantly; I'll have to write Board exams and get licensed, which will take at least a year. I wouldn't have insurance there for at least three months after being physically present; so a minimum of fifteen months uninsured. And then there's the issue of having insurance but no care.

So where do you turn when you've done everything you were supposed to all your life, and paid your dues, tried your best, and still everything crashes and burns? I'm not the only one. What do people do?

Lawyers? Don't you have one in-house now?

I suppose. :neutral: But he's not exactly objective. He's already at the point of never speaking to his father again, and conflicted because he needs a little financial help for the next few months in order to meet expenses in DC until his promotion comes through (tiny apartment, minimal expenses beyond rent, but it's DC and his salary is entry-level). So far my ex has been providing that help; I can do it, as I mentioned, if the alimony continues for the next couple of years. I don't want to pull the kids into this, though. Not fair.

Ah, yeah, good point. Had forgotten that. I was thinking of sic-ing him onto your current lawyer.

That would be a possibility.

At this point I'm having trouble thinking ahead. There's something demoralizing about being found not good enough - not worth the effort - on one hand, and worth only as much as it takes to keep an estate together, on the other. Makes it tempting to just chuck the game altogether.

Hmm, so the choices are...
Acquiesce to his demands requests, and feel financially secure while you beat the cancer and achieve your academic/professional goals.

Or, get a pitbull lawyer and stick to your plan, by making him stick to the agreement, and risking have everything blow up in your face.

Of course the first option, putting him back in control, may result in him pressuring you(or at least trying to), to give up your professional goals, preferring to have you safe at home away from bad influences... at least long enough to rearrange his finances. Even if he allowed you to continue, you'd have the stress of having failed to make the break you wanted, plus almost certain the stress you felt before you made the break.

The second option gives you the stress of fighting for what was previously supposed to be settled, and the possibility of not being physically strong enough to finish school/licensing. In other words, failure.

Looks like either way it won't be easy, so I guess it comes down to whether making the break was necessary, or just looked like a better option. How bad do you want it, what will you risk to try?

Well after all that thinking out loud (blovating) I wish I had some sage advice. But it looks to me like you're the only one that can make the decision.:o

Oh Orthodoc, I wish I had some sage advice, too. You are in my thoughts - I wish you the clarity to see what you need to do and the strength to carry out your decisions.

What the others have said. Sorry things have got so damned difficult, honey. Whatever your decision we'll still be here to provide a collective shoulder and ear.

*hugs*

I wish I could help in some tangible way-all this bullshit you have to go thru and being so sick on top of it!

Love rays your way, orthodoc. :flower:

Yeah ... this diagnosis changed a lot. I needed to leave, I was self-destructing otherwise. Too unhappy for too long. It wasn't just a better option. But here I am, alone, with health insurance for only two years and who knows after that whether I'll ever get it again? (If Romney gets in, the answer to that is clear.)

I was starting to toy with the idea that the ex and I could be friends, could maybe go on a few trips as friends, share some things. He's the devil I know (less scary than taking on devils I don't) and as long as he kept on as he was, it would've been feasible. It's when old patterns and behaviors show up, like the fanatical control over money thing, and the desire to have life arranged to his convenience (my work included), that my spirits drop and I don't know that this can work.

If I go it alone I may fail totally. I may get really sick later in chemo and lose time/lose my job; I may have a recurrence within 18 months (lots of women do), and be without insurance right when I need more chemo; I may really crash and burn.

Is it wrong to return to the property that's really MINE, take comfort in that, and try to keep my boundaries up? It's obviously going to be an ongoing battle. And the issue of having worked so hard to get away, only to get sucked back in.

It's all too much. I don't think I can make this decision tonight. It's just depressing that the facade only lasted such a short time. Guess it's better to know early on, like with my 'friend' who turned out not to be one.

No. There is no right or wrong, beyond being forced/coerced into doing what you don't want to.
Is there anyway to establish Canadian residency, like buying property, or renting an address, without/before actually moving there?

No. You must be physically present (proven by documents, eg passport stamps etc.) for at least 3 calendar months; you can't be away more than 30 days out of the first 6 months, either. To maintain eligibility for OHIP you must be present at least 153 days/year. Government staff decide your date of eligibility after examining your papers. In general, access to an OHIP card is jealously guarded. It's a photo card that must be updated every so often, and every time you move. Failure to update it means it'll show as invalid when it gets swiped at the hospital, and that means you're uninsured.

You are expected to carry private insurance to cover the waiting period, to cover all non-covered services (eg physio, medications, eye exams, etc. - the list expands year by year), and to cover medical costs while traveling. I will/would have more difficulty getting private insurance there than here. There are no policies in place to prevent cherry-picking. With my health issues, I wouldn't get coverage.

Eta - you have to prove that Ontario is your primary residence too, not just one of your residences. Ontario driver's license, pay stubs, copies of Ontario tax returns, etc.

heya ortho...

I have a question. your ex, did he suggest that he wants to remarry **you**??

Ah, I see I didn't actually make that clear in my first post ... yes, it's *me* he wants to remarry asap.

Things would be so much simpler if he had someone else in mind and just wanted to get the settlement finalized. :yelsick:

Marry him!!!! Then Gravdigr, Busterb, and I can take on a little trip to the old sewage lagoon.

Of course I am just kidding, in the case he comes up missing or something.

Of course you're kidding. But thank you. :)

If you had Canadian citizenship I'd so marry you in a heartbeat. Heck, I might even ask you if you wanted to. ;)

Seriously, Ortho, stay away from him at all costs. Rent a friend, Join a church or something. I hear Christians love to get all up in people's bizniss.

Good vibes to you.

Heh - first time anyone's wanted me for my Canadian citizenship. :p:

I'm so frustrated tonight - lost track of the fact that my vehicle registration was up for renewal and discovered it expired Oct. 31! I never, never lose track of things like that. I keep worrying about getting chemo-brain. :( I did the online stuff but also have to call my insurance agent for a new card, as that expires Dec. 1. And perfect storm, my license expires Nov. 11. I did the online thing to get a photo card but - really? - a driver's license photo while I'm having chemo, wearing a wig. Well, that'll be fun to show the state troopers for the next five years. :cool: And I have to go back to PA to get it because my insurance is still in PA (insurance agent said it was cool since I was coming back ... don't know if that's true now, but that's my story at the moment). Wonder if I can play the cancer card on this one ... somehow I think the DMV people are just not going to be sympathetic.

My second chemo is tomorrow and I'll be alone for it, which is ok, but I have SO much academic stuff to get done literally by tomorrow, I'm back to pulling all-nighters. And sleep through chemo, maybe? I don't seem as efficient as I used to be and I hate to ask for extensions. Hate it. I want to rock these courses and come out the other side celebrating.

I won't have the Neulasta shot this time, which is good and bad. Good because the worst of the bone pain shouldn't happen; the really bad stuff, my onco told me, was the shot. Bad because I'll go truly neutropenic this time and be at risk of getting something nasty and ending up in hospital. Everybody risks this, I guess. Just scary because I do clinics all next week and could pick up anything. It's not as bad as doing Peds or Infectious Disease but still a risk.

And other upsets that seem worse tonight - probably the steroids making things seem worse - but. I want to rock my MPH and be as on top of things as I've been the past two weeks, and I can see it all slipping away. I'm so upset tonight, I'm playing my Angry Sad Music playlist. :(

One good thing ... the Affordable Care Act will continue in force. Thank every force in the universe I can imagine, and those I can't imagine.

A cow orker...one of the aforementioned folks vying to see how fast they could get their heads up the new leader's ass, threw me under the bus late this afternoon. Wrote me a scathing email (about an issue he was just as much at fault for as I was) and copied the new leader. Of course, I wrote back about my part...but I know how that works around here.

He'll probably get me fired and that's what I don't get. We're all under stress from these crazy changes and what I would have done would be to give it a day, sleep on it, let's talk about it tomorrow, you and me. That's how I treat 'friends.'

I am finding fewer and fewer reasons to bother on this earth. I have nothing left to give, and I have nothing left that I am. I could go on the road with butcher knives and charge people 10 dollars to stab me in the back. At least I'd have some money before I died.

It's taking everything I have to hold on. All the stuff that's happened in my life (much I've not shared here) in the last few weeks, and now this. Dirty Rotten Scoundrel. I'll be interested to see how the racial issues play out here. Because I'll bet you it will.

What I've learned is diversity means nothing. You can only be you, but I should never be me.

It sux when you get done over by someone you trust anon, and it may be the last straw for you, but things will get better. If not, just get yourself a new job. Surely someone with your skills wouldn't find it too hard?

Chin up. You'll get there.

Ortho, that all sux too, but there is an end in sight for you, so just keep on keeping on. It will all be over soon and better days will follow.

Sorry, Anonymous. You don't need that stress. Hopefully his email won't be given any weight.

Maybe, just maybe, his email will backfire on him. I hope so. Horrible when that goes on. I'm sorry this is happening on top of everything else.

So right off the bat in your new environment, you are handed a way to judge
the maturity of your new leader... the sender just may get to be judged too.

You know the old saw: Problems = Opportunities for the well informed and well prepared

Semi crazy people who have a kernel of a good point and manage to twist it all around into something that can no longer be discussed rationally.

While driving down the highway, truck and trailer with cattle we went by a house and in the driveway a girl [ sub human asshole] was whipping a beagle with the end of the leash. I could not stop, it would have been too dangerous with cargo but I so wanted to whip her with that dog lead and ask her how she liked it... [fuming still]
No one was there on the way back it might have gotten ugly... >:(

email fallout report desired

I'm bummed out by a debt collector that sued me last week 3 days before I was leaving for Australia. Back about 5 years ago when I was taking care of my parents in Atlanta I quit paying on a Sears credit card when they raised the interest rate to 35% for no apparent reason other then I had settled some other credit cards with the lenders for less then the original amount and I guess they saw it on my credit report. I tried to work out a settlement with Citibank which did the Sears cards but they wouldn't cut me a deal so I just blew them off.

About 2 years later I see this big debt buyer, LNVN Funding had bought the bad debt and about every 3 months or so I would get a letter from some dickwad lawyer claiming to represent them and that a law suit was imminent. So I would send them a "debt validation" request by certified mail and they would never contact me again.

Well, I must have missed the letter from one lawyer because I found out that a law suit had been filed for failure to pay a debt. So the day before I flew to Australia I had to hire an attorney who specializes in this kind of stuff and have him deal with the legal mumbo jumbo. He says there is a pretty good chance that either they will withdraw their suit as they most likely don't have the needed documentation for the debt or that if I do have to pay it will be something like 25-30% of the original debt. He also said if he can play the legal rope a dope until April 2013 the debt will be past the time they can go after it which is 4 years in Texas. It's costing me $1500 which kind of sucks but if they will be gone for good it will be worth it.

Hey, I'm in Australia and the motto her is "No Worries, Mate!"

Another old friend passed away suddenly, unexpectedly, yesterday morning. I'm not sure yet whether it was a heart attack or an asthma issue.

Sometimes things make so sense at all.

Sorry, Infi!