Thanks. There has been a recent wave of loss in my life and my peripheral life: people I've known for years, friends of the family, a family pet...

I will be very trite in saying that we never know and each day is a gift. But all of this pain and suffering (and also the pain for those of you who are dealing with medical issues) makes me think long and hard about our meaning and purpose: not a good place for my head to be.

Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them today.

Sorry for your loss IM.

Sorry IM. Its been similar for me. Friends and people MY age are dying? WTF?
How can that be? I... I... I... but I don't feel almost 50. :(

I'm so sorry, IM. Your advice is good, not trite.

Sorry IM. What Classic said. Once you hit 50 (or in IM's case, the 18th anniversary of her 29th birthday) people begin to drop out of the race or get sidelined. The rest of us gotta keep going.

Auntie Margeret passed away yesterday a few weeks after being diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. I wasn't particularly close toher, I've seen her maybe four times in the last two decades. Spoken a few times on Fb. She wasn't my blood relative, and she technically stopped being my aunt when she and Uncle Ron divorced. But...made me feel sad.

She was a nice lady. Life hadn't been terribly kind to her. Nor terribly unkind. But she was a nice lady, and her loss will hit my cousins hard.

The whole thing is so fucking unnerving. What with Stella Christmas before last. Saw my cousins going through it then. Now Margeret. Seeing another set of cousins go through it. It's like something is stalking our parents. Scares me.

Sorry for your losses, infi and Dana. :(

Exactly. Lost an uncle a couple years ago, and now my father in law is in a nursing home. That generation is starting to drop off. Hope it spares my parents for a while.

Lost my Dad in 2009 and that was hard, but losing Mum will be like losing half of myself.

It appalls me that the very best case scenario is that I will lose her.

With Dad having his "funny turns" - still undiagnosed - but more importantly his Alzheimers, I don't know how long I'll have him for either. The real him I mean. He's worried he'll drop dead, we're more worried about what will be left as he lives.

It's been caught early as far as these things go, but there is no reversing the process. Only slowing down.

They've drawn up all the legal papers suggested by the solicitor. Cost £3k.
My brother has power of attorney. In the mean time Dad is still spending money and completely forgetting he did so. He signed up for 3 x cases of wine @ £45 each the other month. Talked into it by a salesperson. No idea when, but they had a record of it. In their defence they weren't out to fleece him, he'd been a member of their wine club for about three years but had agreed with Mum they could no longer afford it. Nice lady on the phone offered him a returning customer deal. He forgot all about it, even when the first case arrived. Genuinely baffled as to why it was sent. Mum cancelled the account, explaining the situation and asked to have them removed from the calling list.

There will be more issues like this, it's true.

May as well share my personal health problem while we're at it.
I have liver damage. Alcohol related. I'm winding down to teetotal but I am on so many waiting lists it's untrue, so I am doing it all alone - no medication, no counselling, no support. That will all come. But things are a bit hit and miss. The good news is I have already made a difference, the Doctor is pleased with my progress and I have lost nearly two stone.

The bad news is I put my job in danger. I think any regular reader here will know how much that means to me. I can hardly believe it either. No children were ever in any danger (I'd have been dismissed immediately - gross misconduct) but I did end up being sent home after a harrowing session in the Head's office.

The good news is I have an Occupational Health* meeting scheduled. And it looks like that assessment (one of the many I have now completed) might be the one which bears fruit the quickest.

* work based mediation/ health/ counselling service.

Right then, it's all out there now.

We all have our skeletons, Sundae. I'm proud of you for valuing your job as much as you do, and for working as best you can to get your health in order.

It takes a strong person to face things head on and do something about them, Sundae. I think you deserve a LOT of credit. I hope you do get some support from local agencies or clinics soon - that will make things easier over time. But congrats on taking first steps yourself.

Sundae, good for you in making a start on what you have to do even if help is in short supply. You know I'm just at the end of the phone. And beaming supporting thoughts at you front Scotland sell the while. X

Sent by thought transference.

Oh Sundae. We fall down and pick ourselves up, and fall down and pick ourselves up...it seems so difficult at times.

But you know where you want to be, and you're taking steps to get there. You have my respect for that.

Talking, too, about parents: I think about it all the time. My parents are both pretty darn healthy, but as Dana said even best case scenario, some day. And I don't really know how I'll ever get through it. It seems impossible. My dad and I...so much alike. My mom and I...so much alike. My dad lost his best buddy from his whole entire life not long ago, a friend of our family, best man in their wedding, with my parents when they got the call that their first grandchild was born.

I spend as much time with my family as I can. I think not having my own family weighs in too...my identity has always been their daughter, you know?

I don't know, just thinking out loud.

Sundae, keep moving forward, OK?

Thank you people.
When this all went down I felt quite vulnerable and didn't feel I could share it on the Cellar, where I also felt quite vulnerable.

I'm glad I did now, and I've received more kindness than I feel I deserved.

I've always admired that you keep on keeping' on when things get tough, Sundae. Hang in there and good luck to you!

Sundae you seriously deserve to catch a break.

You've had more than your fair share of the shit stick. Just remember

I'm sorry, Dana - somehow I missed your post - so sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose family even when they haven't been the closest to us; they've still been part of the social structure we've always known. And as our parents' generation passes, it does become scary. Sending hugs.

SonofV called me this morning from school, in tears. What?!?! He'd just learned that his favorite teacher of the last two years, the teacher in charge of his IEPs, in charge of the special education department at his school died yesterday of pneumonia. He was in school last week teaching classes.

I feel terrible.

I liked Mr N too. It's a serious blow to a young person, the sudden death of someone close.

My friend told me he thought that he called me first is a great sign... looking to me for clues on how to handle grief. Great... :( He told me that his cousin E was also taking care of him and that he was skipping the next period, but he'd go to his class downtown as scheduled. Good man.

I'm going to prepare for a teachable moment about maturity... be ready for him--for an opportunity for some deep conversations about the meaning of life, and death. He's very sad and so am I.

V, usually schools have access to grief counselors when a staff member passes away. May be worth looking in to if SonOfV has a hard time coping.

Thank you Chocolatl. I'm sure they will have that for all the people in the school. I spoke to his cousin and he said the teachers were all given a letter by the administration to tell everyone what happened, but that the teacher in his class couldn't even get through the letter. Mr N was a big deal at the school, for the kids and the teachers.

I got to spend a part of SonofV's lunch with with him downtown and he's down, but still moving. I take that as a good sign that he's not immobilized with grief. I'll be checking in with him, and my nephew closely over the next few days.

Thanks.

I'm sorry to hear that - what a shock for SonofV and the whole school community. I imagine the grief counselors will be helpful, but your counseling will be the most important. So glad you're there for him. Not all dads are.

Thanks.

Recently I said elsewhere I are srs cat. Actually, I are srs Dad. Pete Zicato (nee dar512) crystallized it for me a long time ago: Parenthood, the hardest work you'll ever love.

Bummer V.

That is horrible. How do you go from teaching to dead from pneumonia in a week? IS this not the 21st century?

The 21st century: a dawning era of superbugs and antibiotic resistance. :(

I could see it happening. My classroom is a freaking petri dish. I have kids from across the county, a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds, some over-medicated, some under medicated, some first-time out of house, some in multiple programs, some with older siblings in other schools, one with 15 half-siblings on his Dad's side, thumb suckers, mouthers, diaper wearers, and 2 finger chewers, all brought together in one place. I'd like to give a shout out to the Clorox Bleach people and my TA for her constant scrubbing. We are headed for serious trouble with anti-biotic resistance and schools are part of the puzzle.

So, these two bacteria walk into Griff's school...

I suspect "antibacterial soap" Hand Sanitizers are giving bacteria a leg-up. And Global warming. And Wall Street Bankers.

Kitty Cat aka "Kung Pao Kitty" is sick she is lethargic and breathing hard. I'm going to take her to the Vet at 5:30. Prayers or good thoughts will be appreciated.

Good luck to you and the kitty!

Sending good wishes, hope things turn out well.

Update on Kung Pao? I hope all is well.

Just got off the phone with the Vet. She has been having strokes for the past couple of days. She had been eating and drinking until today, today she just stayed on our bed, and didn't get up but once when she got a drink of water.
The Vet said they was just no saving her. So he put her to sleep so she would no longer suffer. She was only 3 years old, this usually happens to older cats.
Thank You for all your thoughts and prayers.

so sorry.

Bummer, Fargon, she was family.:(

Sorry, Fargon.

I'm sorry, fargon.

I'm so sorry, fargon.

Awww, man. So sorry, fargon. Kung Pao Kitty: cool cat name for a cool cat. :(

Oh fargon, I'm so sorry. Poor kitty, she was such a youngling.

Oh, no. Sorry to hear, fargon.

The hard part comes today. I have to go and pick up the carrier and settle up my bill. Thank You for all of your best wishes we really appreciate all of it.

So sorry to see this Fargon! No matter how old, or young we lose our pets it's a terrible blow.

Sent by thought transference.

I'm so sorry fargon. May she rest in kitty heaven. :flower:

Very sorry to hear of this fargon. Stay strong sir.

Sorry for your loss, Fargon.

you think you know people.


you don't.


Everyone lies.


Everyone lies and then says, "Who? ME? No way!"

Fuck. U. >>>> that's where I went to school.

Since I'm putting all my cards on the table let me be clear: Merc was a bad person. I wouldn't surprise me if he was a Klansman. And when I was so clearly sick and depressed and suicidal he had a little helper try to push me off the cliff: who's that you ask? Why, his best buddie, Aliantha! He and Ali ganged up on me and tried, very hard, to get me to go off the edge. Had I died, they'd would've been all "Oh, we never knew!" and secretly doing a jig in the background.

And yea, monster IS a bully. Sorry, but she is. She "just says what's on her mind" - well, honey, so am I. She especially bullies Sundae whenever she gets the chance. That's why Sundae's not around and coincidentally monster went off the radar at the same time.
Tony-I wonder if you even like me a little bit. You ACT like you do but then you had to go and make a remark that drew me back into a bad time with a very bad man---ha ha funny joke, but at my expense and you surely must know what depression feels like, no????? and to have a health care "pro" (I use that term lightly about merc) suggest I kill myself? really? REALLY? if you don't like someone online, great. Fuck them. But to say THAT to a person clearly on the edge?

Like I said.

oh, a little ps- fuck santa this year.

my sendee WILL get their gift and they are welcome to it and I like the person.

Please don't send me anything. I'm done here. I tried, I really TRIED.


but fuck it.

My fault, Tril. I shouldn't have posted about Merc.

Don't you go off now. That'd suck.

Well, Merc is gone. Monster is pretty much gone too, and I haven't seen much of Ali lately. So why don't you stick around?

Don't make me come over there young lady.:eyebrow:

*checks calendar*

Full moon was last week. What the Sam Hill is going on around here?

Our wonderful history stands on its own m'dear, and I hope that's all I have to say.

'tis the season. :haha:

Post-Thanksgiving, family-induced aggression.
Pre-Christmas, it-ain't-like-the-old-days blues.

Geeze Some bodys Knickers are in a HARD TWIST !!!

fargon, I'm sad with you. we have two cats and it would break my heart to lose either one. So sorry man.

seriously. just wake me up for the super bowl. I don't care about the game, but the commercials are usually cool and I'll be hungry again by then.

Sorry you feel like shit Trilby. :(

in other news,

it's not on par with Trilby's troubles or what's gone for fargon, but I'm sick.

It feels like my holiday cold although there was a report today that the flu season has begun already, earlier than usual. I haven't gotten my flu shot. regardless, I'm pretty miserable, snotty, sore throat, coughing, hot/cold/hot/cold/hot, sore body. Twil gave me a Claritan D last night (the first I've ever had) and the result was almost magical. sinuses cleared up to let me breath and rest. The cough's come on just today and I am dreading it as the last cough was so persistent that my throat hurt and my core was so sore from overexertion that it felt like I'd been beat up in the boxing ring.

waaaa pooooor me.