FallenFairy,

what's with the link farm link - that's what divorcelaw.com is, btw.

sorry sometimes the fingers are faster than the brain - the link in post # 240 is now the correct one. FF

That link is only for; :neutral:

it's not the services that are pertinent on that site- it's the listings of the terms for abandonment - and what the PA Court system uses to determine whether abandonment has occured - it's way simpler language than the law books. :) (legal jargon sucks)

And really - no matter how "no-fault" a divorce could possibly be - the rule is if there are children involved then both parties should be represented by an attorney.

she filed. bitch.

what is the medical term for when it feels like your heart has been ripped out through your eyesocket then set ablaze right in front of you? fortunately, my dear wife was there to piss on my heart so it wouldn't burn too long.

Damn, Lookout. Just DAMN! I am SO sorry! Well, you gave her every chance and tried your best. Now's the time to fight like a tiger for the sake of your boy and yourself. Good luck, man. :(

I'm really sorry, Lookout. I hope the next few months go by quickly for you.

Lookout, I'm really sorry to hear this. I was hoping it would turn out a much different way.

I'll keep good thoughts thoughts coming for you and LilLookout.

she waited to file until my annual profit sharing bonus came through. she's had the paperwork ready for awhile. gotta love sleazy lawyers, selfish bitches, and community property states. i will walk away with next to no liquid assets until the house sells or she is able to refi. wooohooo - rental living, here i come.

It's been a while since I read through here Lookout. Sorry to hear about all of this.

Most sincere best wishes man.

Sorry, lookout.

I wish there was someting I could say or do to ease your pain, lookout. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the little guy. You won't feel this way forever, my friend.

Sorry lookout - this is never easy but you are in my Prayers.

The five stages of death and mourning also apply to divorce.

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

You can skip a step or two (there was no bargaining in mine) but accept the basic idea that you will be continuing to go through the emotional ringer.

After that things will start to get radically better!

The best advice anyone gave me was, if some thoughts seem to be overwhelming, just ignore them for the time being. You can delay worrying about stuff - not forever, but you don't have to consume yourself with how you're going to cope with X today. Leave that to next month and just drop the worry entirely.

I sort of wish I had been forced to move out. Instead, she volunteered to move out as part of the split of things, I'm left with all the house and furniture and color schemes and wallpaper etc. that I only half picked out or in some cases didn't pick out at all. Stuck in a life I only half made and am partly disgusted by, is a strange feeling and bits of it remain even years later. I hate my dishes for example. As a pretty fierce individualist I would prefer to have my own choices around.

You can say oh damn back to apartment life, or you can say, thank god I don't have to try to maintain the lifestyle that we built together, because it turns out that was sort of bogus; and I am suddenly granted the wonderful luck of not having that sort of reminder everywhere I look and the favor of building a life that is fresh and new and all my own.