Good show, man. I know you've got the balls to pull this off, now that you've been forced to go this route. You may have misgivings when you're alone, but you'll step up to the plate when it counts. :shotgun:

even now, i'd be the most loving and loyal husband imagineable if she'd agree to get help. but i will not be bent over when it comes to my son. they actually threatened my retirement accounts, investments etc. give me a break - i don't care about money. it is only a tool. i'll spend it all for a halfway worthy cause - and my son is the absolute most important. game on baby.

Lookout, having crossed horns with you often on this board, I know you to be a very worthy and very tough opponent. Your soon to be ex has probably been lulled into a false sense of complacency by your kindness and love for her. You are the last person I would want to come up against in a court of law. For the sake of lil' Lookout, give her hell!

NOW, we're talkin. Oh, yeah.

And to quote one of my favorite lines from The Blues Brothers:

*let's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuumble*
i don't care about money. it is only a tool. i'll spend it all for a halfway worthy cause - and my son is the absolute most important. game on baby.

Rock on Brother !!!!!

expound please.

Lookout, you need a meaner attorney. I mean this in the nicest possible way.

You might want to ask around to find out about the most skilled and meanest female divorce attorney in your area.

Hell hath no fury, and all that.

As much as I like (and agree with) Elspode's advice, Lookout, in your post after his, you're right about "having to mind your P's & q's" right now. When my now-husband went through his divorce several years ago - to make a long story short - during an investigation, he was asked by detectives about his really being celibate for all that time and he replied "There are more important things in life than pussy, and there are two kinds of liars - men who say they never did, and men who say they've quit." He said the detectives immediately looked away and shut up. Like a lot of men, they don't want to talk about jacking off....
I'm not sure if she knows what she's up against...Lookout, I can tell you're ready to ruuuuumble for little lookout, and also for yourself...you do not deserve to pay financially also for her decision to divorce, especially if your pay is equal! I hope your state is similar to ours, not automatically giving custody to the mother, but weighing in all of the factors Good luck and go get 'em!!

I'm with wolf. He may be scum but a bright ballbreaker and you'll be laughing.

i had an appraisal done on the home. she wants to keep it and give me a fraction of what the equity was when we bought it, not even beginning to approach the $$ of equity that was there at the last appraisal done in the fall.

a middle number appraisal done on saturday shows the equity to have increased by no less than $55K since September. my guess is that will cause a fight, because there is no way in hell she can afford a mortgage large enough to give me my share and keep the house. i hate to sell the house - but i don't even want that big of a mortgage.

Lookout,
You need to take her ass to the mat, so to speak. Get a deal so good for yourself it will make headlines. Get teh courts to award her as clsoe to nothing as possible.

Since you are an ok guy, you can always give her more than she is awarded. No one will put your picture on a milk carton for being too good to your ex. On the other hand...

I just read this thread and I have a little bit of advice...take it, don't take it...whatever you think...but consider some of these points:

It is extremely familiar, in that I could see myself in some of the behaviors your wife exhibitied earlier in the thread and now, I see my husband's exes behaviors in the later parts of the thread...you know, the parts where she is a conniving lunatic? Well, all I can say is make sure your lawyer is sharp. It wouldn't hurt if you got some information from a few of the father's rights organizations. I don't know about Arizona, but here in Colorado, they say joint parenting, but what they really mean is the woman gets what she wants and the man dishes out the $$$. Barring some kind of vulgar crime in her past, it seems there is nothing that can bring down these kinds of bitches, though a kid's father may be obviously more fit a parent. Sick and sad. I saw it all from the sidelines and couldn't contain my anger at how skewed the system is in this way. And her lawyer was a true flunkie.

Savor every moment with your child right now. Don't move out of the house. If you have to, get her to move out first. Don't do anything that could possibly ever be construed as not being able to spend time with your son. Save every conversation you have had and have with your wife (ex, I mean). Write down every time you spend even a few moments with your son. If he ever indicates to you something negative she has said, write it down. Never say anything negative about your wife in front of or within earshot of your son (I know, common sense and you wouldn't do that anyway.) If you have been ordered support on a temporary basis, pay it on time...or early. These are just a few suggestions I have based on the experiences my husband and I had when he was fighting this. By all means...NEVER allow anything about relocating out of state to be included in the decree. A common sleaze tactic some women use is to get a restraining order, so then that gets you away from your son. They are so easy for women to get with minimal or no real proof, especially in a divorce situation, so, beware. I know you haven't probably done anything threatening at all but that doesn't matter to the courts...they always figure "better safe than sorry" with those kinds of things, so you would be left trying to prove your innocence.

Okay, so all that out the way, I am truly sorry this is happening to you. I know a lot of us have experienced similar struggles so we can tell you that things will be so much better in time. It has been about 2 years for my husband and things are quite "normal" these days. It takes a while, yes, but I think in the end you might be glad it happened...it will teach you a few things about yourself.

Oh yeah, and hope beyond all hope that your judge doesn't turn out to be a former criminal defense lawyer and single mother.

Not just CO, nationwide.

You guys want to talk about suppression of civil rights? Talk to half the men in this country that have gone through divorce.

There's your victims.

Financial wage garnishments, siezures of property, legal processes, procedures, and suspiciously near illegal entanglements.

There is ONE office in my home town that has bullet proof glass, ONE. Out of all the possibles, there is only ONE.

Not the banks, municipal buildings....not the schools and not the gas stations.

It's the place where they fuck men out of their money and give it to their ex-wives to spend that on their kids. THAT's the ONLY place that this type of security is needed.

There are thousands of handgun permit holders back home. There is RARELY a problem with them.

People go into banks, businesses and throughout the society and attend to their lives with no troubles.

There in only ONE place that there is no justice or accountability to the male citizen. CPS.

When I rule the planet, the organ donor shortage will be no longer....and neither will this Nazi-ish agency.

Statistic:
only 35% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave their house, whereas 90% of men kiss their houses goodbye when they leave their wife.

In lookout's case it should be the other way around.

Case is dead on when it comes to the RO thing - at least in Colorado. And women can get hit by them too when finances are involved. I don't have the money to hire a lawyer and I got slapped with an RO merely for asking the ax murderer how often he needs to get his diapers changed in front of his adult daughter and new GF who has tons of money to hire a shark to oppose me in court. Watch your step! And document EVERYTHING to the max!