Genesis 1
1In the beginning Chuck Norris created the heaven and the earth.

2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Chuck Norris moved upon the face of the waters.

3And Chuck Norris said, Let there be light: and there was light.

Chuck Norris fucks Jeanne Claude VanDamme and Steven Segal up the ass.

...both at once.

Let's at least try to keep this realistic.

Chuck Norris is the only known source of Element 104, Moxieonium.

Mr. Norris does not shave. He stares at the hair in the mirror until it withers.

(Sorry, but I actually tried to make-up a new one)

Chuck Norris could make Marichiko go away for good, but chooses not to.

Chuck Norris created Undertoad

Chuck Norris pooped a hammer

Chuck Norris cried at the ending of Beaches, and killed everyone who witnessed it. Not because he was ashamed, but just because he could.

Mr. Norris glanced at TW and he made sense for an hour.

I thought we were *supposed* to make up new ones. I really like yours, BTW.

The Bush Administration knows that Chuck Norris could single-handedly end the war in Iraq, but won't go because it is just too damn easy.

tw and MaggieL agree about Chuck Norris.

It is well-known that Chuck Norris is responsible for "Walker, Texas Ranger". It is not as widely known that he simply willed the program into existence using only mind power, including syndication runs, while lunching on Hollywood Blvd one day.