Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC
(Post 705241)
Even if there is love and friendship. If there is not also emotional reliability, then it's a dangerous attraction.
As Stormie* so rightly pointed out: he showed who he was when he walked out without warning or explanation, stranding you in financial straits and completely disrupting his daughter's life into the bargain. I wonder if he warned her mother?
Unfortunately, the person whose eyes crinkle when he smiles at you, and who so solicitously made you happy for the years you were together is also the real him.
This is a lethal combination.
The reason he is so convincing and able to get through your defences, may be because he really feels it. But there is absolutely no reason to think, and every reason not to, that he will feel that way in six weeks, six months, or six years time. And the way he feels when he walks out on you again ('cause it will happen) will be just as real as the way he feels when he declares his undying love.
Might as well set your store with the wind as trust this man with anything more than 'hello'.
Again, I am sorry if this seems harsh. But you are worth sooo much more than this. And it is encumbent upon us as your mates to make that absolutely clear.
(*Hi Stormie! have you been gone, or have I just missed your posts 'cause I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!)
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Glen used to love that Sheryl Crowe song, "A change will do you good." In fact the first time I ever went for a ride with him in his truck, he had that song on in his tape player, ramped up to top volume. I should have listened back then. Other than playing that song often, Glenn didn't warn ANYONE, Dana! Poor Jarah was heartbroken, and I was a complete mess for at least a year after.
I am pretty much in agreement with you and Shawnee and everyone else who replied. Glen took what was a very special connection and destroyed it with less concern then he would have felt kicking a pile of autumn leaves off into the wind. I know him well enough to understand that he would like to have our old intimacy back, but I also know that he remains as incapable of sustaining it as ever.
I've had a day to think it over, and I realize that even if I WANTED to go back to the old days with Glen, I am incapable of it. I could no more spread wings and fly. In fact, flying would be easier.
So now I'm being pragmatic. Two good time Charlies from my past have reappeared and each one is talking big about giving me a car as a sort of payment for their sins. Ron is simply hopeless. Glen on the other hand is a wild card. He can be very responsible if he wants to be - for a while.
My thinking is to let him come visit me if that's actually what he wants to do. I even have a nice lumpy sofa bed with his name on it. He can act the part of the silver-tongued devil, and I'll enjoy the show, then retreat into my bedroom ALONE except for my cats.
Glen can also drive me around to do car shopping. He's smart about mechanical stuff and cars and trucks. I'm sure he can find me something adequate. The rest of the time he's here, he'll have the complete attention of every woman in our small AA group and probably many non AA ladies as well. I expect I will be highly entertained and I'm betting my money that he will make a big play for my sponsor. Oh my, if he does, Glen won't know what hit him!
It is also possible that he'll show up dead broke, hoping that I'll take him in for a while. If so, he's in for quite a shock when he sees how far down the food chain I currently am existing at. It will only take him a day or two before he hits that lonesome highway leading to some relative's house.
I have also been toying with the idea of moving back home, and Glen may well head in that direction. If so, I just might offer to pay for the gas, sell off most of my junk, put the cats in a carrier and let Cortez eat my dust. After all, a change would do me good! ;)
