I still think "Locator Ovaries" is a character in Thomas the Tank Engine.

I think you are right. Especially the part about causing confusion and delay...

Homegirl can't find anything. I usually find it within seconds of looking for it in any of the places she has already combed. I remind her that if I ever go missing she is to ask someone else to look for me.

When I was in my 20s I acquired the nickname 'Mad Acid Homing Woman'.

My homing skills become preternatural with the addition of acid...

Too bad my fucking aching throbbing locator ovaries can't locate a fucking machine that will take my quarter and give me some product in return.

A sure way to die? Give a perimenopausal woman (no matter what my fucking male doctor says) who is hemorrhaging for the 2nd fucking time in as many weeks a couple quarters and send her on a wild goose chase around campus putting quarters in feminine hygiene product machines and have it rigged so when she pulls the knob on these machines that must have been made in 19 fucking 20 NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS. Make sure there is a rooster-haired fucking big wig in high heels clomping around with her nose in the air so that said perimenopausal hemorrhaging woman can't beat the living FUCK out of that machine.

Seriously. If you're at all suicidal.

:mad:

Yeah, there you go. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

I should feel better for having vented. I don't. I'm sure many of the women here feel my pain.

I'll give someone twenty bucks to rip out my female innards.

:hide:

Jack the Ripper might be able to help you for free! :eek:

Yeah, stay behind the couch 'cause I am in the throes of an anxiety-strewn hormonal attack! I LIKE you guys, I don't really want to hurt you!

:lol:

I'm not hiding, that's where I last saw the product machine... next to the remote control and the three dirty non-matching socks.

...oh, and the cat-puke, apparently. Goddamn furball machines.

You must be in touch with your feminine side.... ;)

Do men have packing testicals? I've noticed that men can pack more stuff into a space than women can. Like loading the car. Anybody else notice that?

You'll have to ask Sheldon about men's packing skills.

Now, back to ME and my GODDAM CRISIS.

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

purrrrrrrr

nuh-huh. I'm the car packing champ around here. Although beest ain't useless at it either.

I didn't fucking SAY you were fucking HIDING. :lol2:

snarl snort gnash

sheltering? :bolt: