This is horrible. I am so sorry to hear of this. It's beyond words.

Please take care of yourself

I'm ok. Just calling my family and crushing them one by one

Spencer is with Shelby. Her sister is there I think.

She was fine. We just spent Sunday together. Spencer said her browser history and search history go back 2 weeks looking at sodium nitrate dosage. Forums for pro choice suicide shit.

Her decision. Not an impulse. No notes left other than I love you on a scrap of paper.

I can't fix it

dude im so so sorry to hear this ��

Oh my God Jim!

My heart breaks for you.

Please don't blame yourself - YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!!!! The mind is unpredictable and even the top experts can't fix thoughts.

We humans are broken from the start, we can only do what we can do.

Shit fuck cry, we care too, mostly for you, but for Amanda, Shelby, Spenser, family, friends, classmates, dwellers, it ripples out, it hurts, it's not fair goddamnit, all we can do is cry and wonder why, if there's something we did or could have done, thoughts of my sister rush in, fuckfuckfuckfuck how to tell you how sorry I am can't doesn't help you anyway fuck

I know.

Thanks. I don't think I blame anyone really. She did this on purpose. She didn't leave any indication of why. So trying to figure that out is pure suffering. I'll try not to.

I'm in a fucking daze

i'm sorry, I don't know what to say.

Don't feel like you have to say anything, anyone. I know you guys care and feel for me. You're part of my tribe. Some of you feel like family. This is really rough shit.

I was just thinking life was going really well lately.

Monster just went through /is still going through this, and I felt helpless to help her. So don't. I'm ok. I'm going to be sad for a time. We all are. But the fucking sun will still rise.

The whole thing is just so unbelievable. Like it can't be possible.

She was. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...955f32da3e.jpg
And she was
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...b2acd9e005.jpg
And
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...3f1ea3f879.jpg
And
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...eabcc2a0d2.jpg
And
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...5cb7eb7c8f.jpg

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...26f81ff6f1.jpg
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...48e1825b15.jpg

So beautiful. Funny. Smart.

All that is gone

Gone

Oh Jim. How awful. There are no words. I lost my brother to suicide 14 years ago today. The love remains, but there are no new experiences to share. There is no bitterer loss than for a parent to outlive their child in such a way. But you are right, it was her decision. And UT is right, you are not to blame. You are a good person. X

Sent by magick

Sorry you have to endure this kind of pain Jim.

Damn man. I’ve lost cousins to suicide. You won’t ever forget her. The cousin I was close to lives in me and my family we still share the stories. I’m so sorry for your pain, this is too horrible.

Naw, he's a dickhead like the rest of us, bumbling through life like we all do. But you're certainly right in this tragedy is not his doing, he's one of the victims.