Welcome back.

BTW, ordering a metric ton of ammo is a nice invitation to the ATF to try for a second Waco. :cop: :rattat: :flamer:

Is this where you are thinking you have had enough, or was this just a more 'entertaining' week?

Have you ever had a patient where you can really just not see why he is so screwed up. just someone who you think - nope. no help for you, your born bad and you should be locked in a dark cell for the rest of your life. someone who you think - there was never any hope for you. cant see a good bone in your body.

Or is everyone saveable?

Some people are just plain broke in my opinion. This one kid we had come to us one evening was this skinny little white 14 year old. He'd been picked up down in the 9th Ward of New Orleans by the sheriff's department before he'd been shot. I was working with Big Al Laurent, 6'6" and 350, hence the big part. When the kid arrived on the ward he took one look at Al and yelled at the top of his lungs "Fuck you, you fat nigger!" Al's creole by the way. Yeah, the kid really knew how to make an entrance.

One of the highlights of the evening was when he ran and hid under one kid's bunk and we had to wake that kid up. It's really disturbing to the milieu to have to tell the paranoid kid on the ward that we were waking him up to pull another crazy kid out from under his bed...

Anyhow, back to the broke part, the new kid's mother was a deaf, schizophrenic, alcoholic, chain-smoker who had been raped by another resident of the institution she was sporadically required to attend.

You tell me, what is the likelihood of this kid turning out right?

No, not everyone is saveable. And not everyone I see is actually mentally ill. When a person is irreclaimable because of their own stupidity (drug users and criminals, for instance) I don't feel much for them. They did this, and they have to face the consequences of their actions, which are sometimes quite dire.

On the other hand, there are folks who are very, very crazy. They just are. Multiple attempts to stabilize these folks on medications have failed ... and often these are fairly bright people, folks that when they can grasp reality are pretty cool ... those are the ones who hurt.

These groups are usually separate from each other, but every now and then someone from group II will be an alcoholic or something.

There was a guy, Ross. Ross was someone that I saw if not every month, every other month. He was pretty mild mannered, drank like a fish, and became very suicidal every time he missed getting his testosterone shot (he had a condition called Klinefelter's Syndrome). It took us a while to figure out the suicidal/lack of testosterone link, but one we got it, it was one of those smack yourself in the forehead moments.

So anyway, poor Ross was not terribly functional. He was on welfare and SSD, hadn't worked productively in 30 or more years, and divided his time between the bar, his apartment, and the nuthouse. He had a few friends in the community, but was essentially a loner.

We knew Ross wasn't worth a whole lot to the world in the general scheme of things, but it's important to understand that we never treated him that way. And he let us know that he appreciated that care, and especially that respect that we gave him.

On one of his last admissions I was working with him and had let him out of seclusion to use the restroom. He emerged and I asked him to go back to the exam room, where I was going to lock him back up to wait for nursing to escort him to the unit.

He drew himself up to his full height (he was about 6'2") and said "no."

"Ross, whaddaya mean "no." You can't say no. You have to go back to the room."

"No, I'm not going in the room."

"Ross, if you go back to the room, I'll give you a cigarette." (bribery is an effective therapeutic tool."

"No, I'm not going!" (Ross, who was very soft spoken, actually shouted.)

"Ross, you're going to make me put on the gloves. You know I don't want to put on the gloves ..." (repeat patients know that prior to entering ass-kicking mode I put on a pair of black leather gloves)

He looked at me as I very deliberately and seriously reached into my back pocket for the takedown gloves. His shoulders drooped, his posture relaxed, and he truly looked defeated as he walked back to the exam room.

I went with him and sat with him a while, as he cried, telling me that he knew that he was a worthless piece of shit. I told him I didn't agree with him, and tried to help him regain what shreds of his dignity remained. And I gave him the cigarette. He cried at the thought that somebody gave a damn. Which I truly did. (I don't incidentally, get this way with all of my patients. some of them are one and done, some of the frequent flyers much less compelling. I couldn't survive if I did. You need to step away to keep doing this.

It was a month or two after that discharge that he was found dead, of an overdose that was believed to be accidental. He didn't leave much behind him in the way of a legacy ... few friends, no children, hadn't had contact with his parents in 30 or so year.

But I will always remember Ross.

Aw, Wolf. It must be so hard to detach yourself sometimes.

Not usually, which is why I can still do this.

Or If I care, I care for about 15 minutes and then I get over it.

You know, John Titor says that we should all know someone within 100 miles away and be ready to get there when the civil war breaks out this year.

If I promise not to proselytize, will you let me hang out witchyall? I'm voting slang, NBN and Wolf "the people I most wanna be friends with when all hell breaks loose".

Even I know someone about whom I can say ... "The world is going to end tomororw. X is ready for it."

Sure you can hang out. Proselytize away, I can use the practice.

So, what celebrity did you lock up tonight?

Oh, for the love of...

YAY! New Year's Eve Party at Wolfie's place everyone! Will that thing buy us all tickets out of the country, afterwards?
:celebrat: :guinness: :band: :bolt:

Finish it. ;)

pete.