These people that have moved upstairs
Can never just sit still,
They're always moving, banging, yelling,
Why can't they just chill?

If they're not moving, banging, yelling,
They're Screwing, and I swear
They vaccum every single day
Of every friggin year.

The girl, she moans, the guy he shouts,
They re-did the floors and that CRAP,
That no good excuse for music spills out
It'll be my last straw- Yes, I'll snap.

Boom, shaka laka boom, boom, shaka laka boom
Who LISTENS to this? I couldn't even if you paid me,
Boom shaka laka boom, boom thrashing through my room,
Oh God, someone, please come sedate me.

That was, without a doubt, the best post from Brianna I have ever read. Brilliant. :lol:

Thanks, CW. You see--I'm an unbeliveably self-conscious person. I'm a real-live people-pleaser and it's very hard for me to be authentic. I'm working on it, though.

Brianna, if that's true, you would make an excellent waitress :)

I love that poem, Stacey.

Do you know what a Klein Bottle is? It's this amazing topological paradox. It's a bottle that has no "inside" and no "outside". Your statement gives me the same brainlock. Here's my problem: Are you a real-live people pleaser? Is that authentically you? Or are you NOT a real people pleaser, you'd rather...something else? Your post does not compute for me. Explain, please.

Thanks for the link, BigV. I did not know what a Klein Bottle was but now I do. Sorry about the brainlock, though. I guess in answer to your question I'd have to say I don't WANT to be a people-pleaser but I am too insecure to NOT be one. Make any sense? I'm too sensitive to live. Especially now. I write short little blurbs here in the Cellar so no one can really "know" me (in as much as anyone in Cyberworld can really know anyone else) and I am worried that I don't have any morals, convictions or opinions. I feel gross--like an amorphous, floating cloud of nothingness. I feel empty inside. The only thing that matters is what the collective YOU think. I feel I don't matter to myself. God, this is disgusting.

Thanks for asking.

You do matter, and once you understand that this is more than just words, your recovery will be better established.

Don't just listen to me, though. Get thee to a program. Inpatient would be best, IOP at a minimum.

*sigh* well, when wolf tells you to get thee to an IOP (at least!) you'd better do it. I am, wolf, I am. Yikes. It's scary. And that's just the staff. ;)

And watch 28 Days. No, not the zombie movie. The funny one. About Rehab. With Sandra Bullock. It has the upside and the downside ...