Now here is a family man!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...dchildren.html

Oh, that can't be true. I have it on good authority that marriage has always been 1:1, throughout the centuries.

She was 12. Dirty old man.

How is he going to give all his sons a start in life, anyway?
He's marrying women young enough to be their daughters?

But you're right, Clod. 1:1 is the most natural state, and has been since The Creation.

Thank...um, er...GOD. I'd hate to have to kill 4 or 5 men, instead of just one.

wells fargo shenanigans

http://consumerist.com/2011/02/how-t...lls-fargo.html

I think the word you are looking for is pedophile.


Foot3 ... that is brilliant. I'd love it if he plays hardball and forces the sale.

Sorry to contradict you but 35 minus 18 is 17.

Not too young to marry even in some of our western countries.

As long as it isn't tried in AZ he may have a shot at it. (link to hit and run case where perp was "too important" to be punished)

You're right in that I'm wrong - I really should check & double check my maths as I know I have dyscalculia.

But he's still a dirty old man after all.
Just not a paedo.

The pot calling the kettle black?:D

Eh?
I admit to occasional dirtiness, but not lusting after 17 year olds. Well, not since I was 17.
And last time I checked I wasn't a man.

Fixed that for you.

I use LED lights for all my voodoo sex rituals
 

Brazilian woman finds alligator behind sofa
 

A woman in Brazil was shocked to find an alligator hiding behind her sofa after heavy rains flooded her house in the town of Parauapebas, in Para state.

She said she was alerted to the reptile's presence by her three-year-old son, who was patting its head. :eek:

The woman snatched the child away and called the fire brigade, who trapped the 1.5m-long (5ft) alligator.

The firefighters said the family was lucky the reptile was not hungry.

Firefighter Captain Luiz Claudio Farias said it could have seriously hurt or even killed the boy.

Capt Farias said it was not uncommon for animals such as alligators and snakes to enter people's houses in towns such as Parauapebas which are built very near rivers and the rainforest.

He said the reptile had been released in a less populated area of the town.

link

Shawnee At It Again

NEW HAMPTON, Iowa -- A man known to many as "Iowa Blackie," who was a regular at the annual National Hobo Days Convention in Britt, has died.

Officials with the New Hampton Police Department say the hobo, whose real name was Richard Gage, was found dead in his home in New Hampton on Thursday. He was 62.

The Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier reports that Gage was given his hobo name in the 1970s. He supported himself by working whatever job he could find and selling books of his poetry that detailed his life as a hobo.

Gage began to chronicle his life as a hobo in 1987. His work is also included in the book "One More Train: the Underground World of Modern American Hoboes," by Cliff Williams.

Re: dyscalculia - Stop making me learn shit. (even if I do have it):eek:

Be careful when you take a leak, the street lamp may retaliate.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toront...uted-dogs.html

Around here, a lot of the lamp posts have their little access hatch doors removed and bare wires exposed inside. I always assumed it was some resourceful homeless dude stealing power from the poles and not putting them back together again.

Woman Goes To Court With Tiny Monkey In Bra

Va. Woman Says 7-Week-Old Marmoset Requires Constant Attention

AMHERST, Va. -- A woman turned a few heads when she walked into a rural Virginia courthouse with a tiny monkey clad in a pink-and-white dress tucked in her bra.

The woman brought the palm-sized marmoset to Amherst County Courthouse on Thursday for a hearing in Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court. Officials apparently didn't notice the monkey until the woman went to an office to complete some paperwork.

In an interview with The News & Advance of Lynchburg, the woman says the marmoset is 7 weeks old and requires constant attention.

The woman tells the newspaper she bought the animal on an online auction site and had its clothes specially made in West Virginia.

Teacher/porn star

Is this really necessary? I mean, at least she wasn't fucking the students. Just because someone did something they are ashamed of in the past, does it mean they can never hold a job again? It's bad enough that anyone with a sex conviction can't find a place to live these days, never mind a job. But this whole "Your past is your present" mindset that people have these days is really starting to piss me off.

I ranted against databases in the beginning and no one listened. Now we are reaping the inevitable wages of that sin!

Where's my sandwich board and sign and sackcloth? :D

Well, who doesn't go to court with at least one tiny monkey in their bra?

I keep a giraffe in mine.

And we thought you were just happy to see us

How the hell did she get through security?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12773427

nutter dives 36 feet into 12 inches of water.

Is it really a dive when you're deliberately belly-smacking, though?

Insane.

I notice the pool is on some sort of pad, and the pad is on snow. The snow is not all that deep, but it's not like the pool is sitting on concrete. There's some extra cushioning there in addition to the 12 inches of water. He clearly goes through the water and hits the bottom of the pool, so the little extra cushioning helps.

Still, I'd never do it.

That video is now topping the BBC's "most watched" list -the other nine clips are all tsunami clips. Evidently, the BBC audience is also tired of the bad and scary news.

Not to mention the water was near freezing, so that infinitesimal increase in viscosity should absorb slightly more energy...:3_eyes:

[Hunter S.] You think they'd say anything? Call attention to my son's infirmities? [/Thompson]

What do you think started the tsunami?


Too early?

Nope.:lol2:

You're still behind Gilbert Gottfried:eek:

Bike accident saves life!
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=14786306

if it's incurable, how is he cancer-free after treatment?

Oh and I had an acquantance who had a sporting injury which revealed a rare/unusual bone cancer. He felt fine. He died within a year as a result of the aggressive chemotherapy and subsequent weak immune system, not the goddamn cancer.

Ya gotta love this:


TOPEKA, Kan. -- Police in Topeka, Kan., say one holdup suspect's unique outfit made it easy enough to find her - because she showed up hours later wearing the same clothes to watch the city's St. Patrick's Day Parade.

Radio station WIBW-AM reports the 26-year-old woman was taken into custody Thursday afternoon after an officer spotted her watching the parade along a downtown street.

Authorities believe she entered a convenience store around 3:30 that morning holding a screwdriver and demanding money from a clerk.

Surveillance tape showed her leaving the store in a bright blue warm-up suit with a broad yellow stripe - the same attire the officer noticed along the parade route hours later.

Cavity search produces over 50 bags of heroin, say police
link

I hope she said "keep the change."

And if they had found the car keys, they could have driven out.

Yay Scranton!

Wedding cake is lifesize replica of the bride

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/23/br...-like-herself/

So everyone gets to eat the bride before the groom does?

Well the groom's name is Innocent....

The cake took 5 weeks to make -how stale is that going to be?

The bride doesn't look too happy, and the groom's left arm is like 6 feet long to reach around her waist like that.

WTF? What is up with that arm? Is it the camera angle?

I would like a cake made to look like me, then I'll jump out of that cake. We'll call it "art."

Hideous!

She can't escape the long arm of her Pa.

(Only, I don't think that's her Pa.)

Now go make me some Fat Ho Burgers! I wish they would open one in down town Atlanta.

http://tv.gawker.com/#!5785756/texas...-the-neighbors

Fat Ho burgers is on the local news, here. I'll bet those burgers are damn good.

Ambulance chasing at its most reprehensible:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/28/new...x.html?hpt=T2#

Regina's parents said: "No, you can't have a pony."

Regina said: "Fuck you. I have Luna."

:lol2:

Charlie Sheen wants to trademark 22 of his catchphrases.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04...hrases/?hpt=T2

Come on, can I trademark carpal diem, or he's a big poopyhead? And I'm about 90% sure I coined cool beans in the 80s. :lol:

Gotta love the guy. He just doesn't give a tiger shit.

Touchdown Jesus to be Replaced by Yo! Jesus.
 

Yeah, I made that up. I want that on the record, just in case trademarking phrases catches on.

Many of you remember when the Solid Rock (irony not intended, I'm sure) Church's monstrosity Jebus burnt to the ground. Well, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.

But would you just look at that? Jebus is all casual and stuff. I wonder if they're going to make this one out of matches and flint and gas cans, too.


http://www.whiotv.com/news/27449792/detail.html

for that most marvelous 'Abhors Whores'...
 

"We have the technology."


We have 'blowjobs': to the left, to the right, smack-dab in the center.

'Blowjobs' above and below, in front and behind.

'Blowjobs' for you and me and him and her.

A 'blowjob' in every pot, a 'blowjob' in every garage.

Fat 'blowjobs'...thin 'blowjobs'...black 'blowjobs'...white 'blowjobs'.

'Blowjobs' for the young and old, alike.

'Blowjobs'

:lol2:

Your nuts. (Misspelling intended. Sic.) ;)

Give your loved one something different for Easter... everyone loves a Ho Card


Pittsburgh Prostitutes accept gift cards


Wonder if I can use this to promote my Scrip program for the school?

Deer stands guard over goose nest in cemetery
 

from Yahoo! News

Deer stands guard over goose nest in cemetery

"The deer and goose are not in love,"

How do they know?

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

(Be quiet, big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lyin' there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, ooh

I'm not in love, I'm not in love...