I'm inclined to suggest that a good answer might be "well. okay, then go live with your Dad, if you think that would be less restrictive to your lifestyle. Obviusly, I'd rather you didn't...your my son and I love you and would prefer you to be close to me. But if you find living here too restrictive then there's no good reason for you not to live with your Dad. After all, I want you to be happy."

I am going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess that his Dad would be less tolerant and more restrictive than you?

lol, quite right! His father doesn't allow anyone to sleep over and most of Danny's friends are here on my side of town anyway.

tom's like the guy in Ferris Buehler's Day Off: he's so tight you could stick a lump of charcoal up his ass and in a week, you'd have a diamond!

Danny definitely prefers my house to his dad's - so all his "threats" are empty. I have cursed him, though. I have said, "I can't WAIT for you to have your own place so I can come over and throw damp towels on the floor and leave glasses in every room!"

Hahahaha. That sounds awfully close to something my Mum shouted at me when I was 16...

One of my step daughters used that "live with my Daddy" threat on me a few times. The last time she used it , I (without a reply), started packing her things for her.
Her: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm sending you to your Daddy's to live. I'll miss you but I know you wouldn't use that hurtful threat on me and your mom if you didn't mean it. After all, we want you to be happy and I'm sure your Dad will let you do anything you want."

About a month later...... Phone rings.
Her: "Look, Dad... If I promise to never behave that way again would you and mom let me come back home? I don't think his new girlfriend really likes me. And I thought you were strict. He doesn't trust me near as much as you do. So whaddaya think?"
Me: "Sure, baby. I'm on my way to pick you up, so be ready. You can stay here as long as you like, or until you use the childish threats again. We'll put the custody transfer papers on hold till we see how it works out."
Never heard that threat again.

Wow Cap'n that was great. I had a similar experience. I think I'm about to have it again. Mine seems to be a little more hardheaded ...:eek:

My friday night team is playing in the league championship game friday. But apparently I won't be playing as I received a red card during my game tonight. Complete and utter bullshit.

Yeah yeah yeah, that'll teach you to bring a baseball bat to a soccer game. :p

abandoment

My mother.
She's so negative.

This morning there was a phone in about Alli (Orlistat). I knew there would be, as it's released for OTC sale today in the UK. I wanted to have my say, so I phoned up the talk show we always listen to in the mornings and did so. I think I came across as calm, intelligent and put my points clearly and rationally.

What did my Mum say when I came off the phone?
In quick succession, "I'd rather you hadn't gone into the garden with that so all the neighbours could hear."
Referring to another caller who was very rude to me (following callers criticised him for it) "He didn't like you, did he!"
and, "I assume they called you back for that - it wasn't on our phone bill was it?"

Why couldn't she have said at least one nice thing?
Why wasn't she furious that the man on the radio laughed when I said I had depression and said, "Oh typical".
Why immedicately make me ashamed rather than admiring me for having the confidence to want to be heard?

And for the record - I was in the garden because the washing machine was on its final spin cycle. I said nothing about alcoholism, nothing about being in acute care or being under the community psychiatric services and nothing about the fact I have low esteem because I grew up with a negative parent who taught me how worthless I am. I merely answered a question as to whether I worked.

And yes, everyone is called back before they speak on the show, as you could be on the phone for up to 30 mins - as I was. It's mentioned every morning. I was certainly aware of it before I called anyway.

And the man who was having a dig was suggesting that Alli creates depression because lazy fat people take it thinking they will get thin, but they don't because they are lazy, so they get depressed and cost the Govt a lot of money. Something any parent of a person with depression should be horrifed to hear. Instead of telling their child that the person in question just didn't like them.

The thing is, I know she will never change. She has been like this all my life, and so the only thing I can change is my reaction to her. But right now it bloody hurts.

And I'm probably over-reacting anyway.
Sigh.

I'm sorry Cherry. *hugs* If it helps, I'm proud of you...and your Mum loves you even though she's got a shitty way of showing it. Just try and keep that in mind when she's being a cow. She's as much a victim of her past as the rest of us. She obviously just doesn't know any better, but you do, so don't let it change the way you're starting to see yourself.

You count, and you matter.

Well the most promising path to my long term goal of being a professional structural firefighter in southern California is on the back burner for now. The Orange County Fire Authority human resources website now states that the second and third recruitment cycles are on hold until further notice. I was planning on applying during the third cycle that starts in September of this year since I will have my undergraduate degree at the end of August, free and clear to move out of Ohio come January 2010 (no reason to bug out early in September and miss Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with the family).

I was worried about this happening for awhile now given the budget crisis the state of California is facing, and it looks like my semi-worst fears have been realized. No departments around here are hiring, and I can't find any others near the coast in southern California that are hiring either (my extended family lives in Orange County and San Diego). So as of now, I have no real opportunities for a paid structural firefighting career where I want to live, nor where I currently live, after graduation in 4 months. Guess I could take this opportunity to earn my CDL and get some experience driving heavy trucks, one more thing to bring to the table once a firefighting job actually becomes available. Or get a construction job and keep getting myself in optimal shape. Something like that.

This sucks.

When she came back from taking Grandad to the opticians, she did ask if I was still listening to the radio, and I said it was now a different programme - so perhaps she doesn't pay as much attention as I do (I know each topic is only discussed for an hour, and Victoria takes over at 10.00 anyway).

And then she she said... "Well I was proud of you anyway" to which I responded very positvely, "Thanks Mum!" because I think that's the way forward - don't react when she is negative, but answer positive comments with genuine pleasure.

We'll get through it one way or another.

Wise woman. Absolutely right.

SG, I've a mother just like that - took me years and years to figure it out. Your mom might be intimidated by your success, perhaps jealous, too? I'm just speculating here, but I know MY mother has a vested interest in keeping me sick. She really does.

Maybe later on in the year that will change, once the stimulus money gets out.

Bullitt - Have you tried a little North? There are lotsa places slightly inland and slightly north that might be slightly less desirable, but that might need you for now - Only 1 1/2 hours from LA to SD - just thinkin'...