fixed this:
 

Remember the old joke:
"Judge, I did kill my parents, but please take into account that I am an orphan."

Van der Sloot's attorney asked the Peruvian judges to take into account
that his client suffered post traumatic stress syndrome at the time of the killing
from all the publicity surrounding the disappearance of Nancy Holloway five hears ago.

Time
By AP / FRANK BAJAK
1/12/12

Van der Sloot Pleads Guilty to Murder

Oh sure, I can believe this...

CBS News
January 18, 2012 11:18 AM

Report: Captain claims he "tripped" into lifeboat

That's the first picture I've seen from that perspective. It hardly seems like you'd need a lifeboat with the land so close.

:) I was about to post that in the Mildly Amusing thread.

First of all this guy appears to have really screwed up the navigation in some of the best charted waters in the world in a ship with all the modern wizz-bang gizmos. :dunce:

Then - maybe this is a second-language issue - he mentioned "a rock collided with our ship". ORLY? How fast was the rock going? :lol:

Then he went from "we were the last to leave" to "I WAS co-ordinating - from the lifeboat". :lol2:

Yesterday, the ship had lurched violently and tipped them into the sea.

Now he "tripped and fell ... right into a lifeboat" :lol:

You, captain, are NO CAPTAIN.

I heard he's called Chicken of the Sea.

Has anyone heard about these 12 HS girls exhibiting tourette-like symptoms? They're calling it conversion disorder (mass hysteria) but I don't really buy it. Of courses, I'm not a doctor IRL or on TV.

What do you think?



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1210681.html

Is this happening in Salem, Mass?

No, it's happening on Uranus. :eyebrow:

FTW

I'm thinking they all did a batch of bath salts or some other shitty drug and this shit happened to them.

The perspective makes it look a bit closer closer than it is, it's a LARGE cruise ship (approx 4000 passengers and crew from what I recall). But that is the main reason that there was less than 1% fatality.

The Captain didn't crash on these rocks, he had already holed the boat and was trying to bring it into harbour. Not that I'm writing in his defence, because he holed the ship on other rocks after all.

I can swim approx 25 metres. In a pool.
I would struggle to swim in the sea. Close to rocks and a huge sinking vessel, currents would be unpredictable. In a shipwreck, I'm Shelley Winters :( Swimming distance depends on the swimmer.

I really feel for the families of the two old men found in their cabins with their life jackets on. Imagine their last minutes - cold and dark and knowing what would surely come...

It's so hard to say without knowing all the facts.
Were the 12 of them close? It's trickier if not.
Did they all experience onset of symptoms within the same timeframe? Were those experiencing the symptoms first in contact with those who experienced them subsequently?

It's all odd.

Bottom line, we are unlikely to ever know if it's purely environmental/ medical.
And if it's not we have to wait for one of them to get older and write a tell-all.
And even then we can't be sure an unscrupulous agent/ ghostwriter/ editor is really interested in the truth.

A modern mystery indeed, Infi.

My first thought was hoax, but I'm cynical like that.

http://todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.c...-mass-hysteria

I have to admit I am too.
Especially about teenage girls, who seemed like another species to me even when I was one.

I've met many women since who have the midset of teenagers.
And I have had to drag myself out of it (irrational jealousy and feeling left out being those I am still working on!) At least I am no longer embarrassed about who I am. I worked out you don't literally die from embarrassment. It made life so much better.

I'd feel like a meanie if it wasn't.
But like I say, I doubt we'd ever hear in that case.

Oh - when I heard that 12 girls had tics I sent them a case of Hartz Ultraguard collars.

Trivia: Shelley Winters learned to swim from Olympic champion Johnny Weissmuller.

My apologies. Movies warp real facts; lemmings actually swim very well too.

You know, the deeper underneath the water you go, the more nitrogen narcosis sets in, and the more relaxed you are, and the less seasick.

Of course, the downside is no air.

I forgot I was in scuba gear when I did that.

I should have said Belle Rosen.
But I don't like to make obscure jokes if I wouldn't personally get them.

It's The Devils Lite.

If Poseidon Adventure is how you remember Shelley Winters, it's easy to forget she once looked like this:


Attachment 36830

You know who's a good swimmer? Clint Eastwood. For real.

He was in a plane crash in '51 off the coast of California and swam a few miles to shore by himself. Taught swimming in the military after that.

She was heeeelarious as Roseanne's grandma.

Old age don't have no mercy in this thread.

Just don't go skiing with him. He ran into my bro on the slopes in Aspen - Literally. ;)

It's cool, it's just 2012. The neurological damage has reached critical mass, and we're all gonna start tipping over the edge and dropping like flies in the next few months. Been nice knowing you guys--cuntpissfuck!

:lol:

Wow, that T-shirt about Tourette's was well timed. Bitchface!


Sent from my warped mind using digital telekinesis.

And now he ordered dinner for his fancy ladye an hour after the crash

http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/19/world/...ook/index.html


The deaths aren't funny, but this captain sure is. How in the heck did they hire him? Where did they find him?

It's machismo. Not uncommon in those parts.

Hey, I'm a big important man. I'm going to ignore those pesky rules for wimps and bring my ship in close to the shore so I can impress my buds.

So you say we scraped bottom a little bit? It's just a little flesh wound. Get me my dinner and drinks. Can't you see I have a woman here?

My only wonder is when he went from full blown machismo mode to realizing the shit had hit the fan and he transitioned into whimpering baby mode.

Captains used to be a lot more respectable.

Whitman wrote this about President Lincoln's assassination. Politicians used to be a lot more respectable too. ;)

Did he order a float for dessert?

His godfather did a favor for the ship's owner.

That's MACHO whimpering baby mode.;)

More or less at the same time he soiled his pants and started crying "Mommy!"

Maybe he was trying to hide the fact that he was obviously intoxicated or something, which would explain the ship crashing in the first place, and he decided he'd rather be known as a coward than be brought up on charges? Of course, now it looks like he'll be brought up on charges anyway...

Natalie wood?

Sent using magic.

One of the worst kinds of wood to build a boat with.

SHCOOL XNG

f'realz.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/m...cUYafpF8K5zp3L

Attachment 36959

oops

It's the newest band - S. H. Cool and the X-ng!

I wonder if it's done intentionally half the time. There are some folks who are underemployed and bored out of thier minds.

;)

Plus, even if it's a mistake, it's close enough for government work. You want them to spend tax dollars to fix it?

Maybe it's intentional. It gets your attention.

It get's my attention. thats for sure.

from Reuters via Yahoo!News.

De La Hoya goes Charlie Sheen...

Yeah, what kind of whore do you think I am!:rolleyes:

That's right, no kissing. Remember the Sham Wow guy.

Remind me never to click on a link from NY Post again. I tried to scroll down the page but a float-over menu blocked out the story and wouldn't go away. When I click off to the side to restore focus, 3 (3!) pop-ups fired off (aside from the one pop-up blocker already squashed, which spawned just from opening the page). Jeez, I hope they make a shitload of click-through money from that one, and only, visit people ever make to their site.

The Peacemaker! Lamp should like this one! ;)

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/fl-neigh...,5814428.story

;)

It's funny as a photo. Ha ha ha, someone spelled school wrong.
But the article is awful! British and American schools are probably as different as the rest of our culture, but I felt compelled to respond to this article.

[1] Britain is also being dumbed down. I read it most often in tabloids where I can easily find at least one typo and the occasional glaring error (misinterpreting a similie for example). This is received wisdom and in my mind completely incorrect. I'm a pedant who finds errors everywhere, not just from the young.

[2] Linda Surles isn't surprised that no-one noticed the error outside the school. Why? Because she's President of the PTA and obviously hasn't noticed it herself! The Head is too busy working on the interior, where students spend their time, rather than checking the streets outside for spelling mistakes. Umm... sounds good to me. PTA Presidents and parents perhaps only see what they expect to see. It's early and they are in a hurry and have more on their minds. I'd see it, but I have no children and can spot that "Jolly Rodger" on the Pirate Work Board is wrong within a few seconds of entering the classroom.

[3] Because that's what you want school employees to do, right? Take a TA out of a classroom where she is working with children who might otherwise have difficulty following the lesson. Or hearing readers to achieve the school's policy of children reading at school three days a week. Or perhaps the office staff, so that the phones are unmanned. Or the Caretaker, who has various jobs from cleaning up sick to re-roofing the shed where all the outside activity items are stored, as over the weekend it blew off and all the fancy dress stuff got soaked (two pirate outfits took the brunt and were disposed of, but luckily all the clothes underneath just needed a wash and a dry).

Irresponsible journalism.
Just print the photo with a jokey title and let it be.

An attack on the paper, not on any Dwellar.

Flint - Never click on a link from NY Post again.

Suspected suspects in suspected ATM robbery...
 

Suspected suspects in suspected ATM robbery were unsuspected after closer inspection revealed the suspected suspects were supposed to be inspecting the suspected robbed ATM...or something.

There is a "twist" in the case. There ain't no damn TWIST! They weren't robbing the damn thing! :lol:

Love the local news online:

Man, boy not suspects in suspect ATM theft.

:lol: Classic prank win!

Wha??? I had nothing to do with it ;)

George Orwell lived here:


Attachment 37220

Double plus win!

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817...obref=obinsite


LAS VEGAS—RealTouch wants to bring teledildonics to Afghanistan. Company manager Scott Rinaldo, appearing at a CES party sponsored by porn firm Pink Visual, said he's working on distributing "a thousand dildos for the military wives"—in this case, Internet-connected sex toys that can let families thousands of miles apart get intimate.

More at the link.

Double Plus :(

Don't be sad, Oceania has defeated Eurasia