His loss.

Bri,
I was thinking of something I was going through and remembered this thread. A while back I had just experienced that great gulf in humanity.In that cold detached lofty place called human awareness. Feeling the coldness of being inside this vessel and wanting somekind of warmth.
Warmth of something which was eluding me but I didn't know what. I ended up pondering different reasons that are better suited for a philosphy thread so I won't bore anyone with them here.

I have to remind myself too that during these times we are usually under alot of stress or our bodys are not well in some way.That is what I wanted to say. You've been working hard and that has taken a toll. Summer is comming and there will be lots of good energy in the air.
I always feel more connected with warmer air.
Well it does for me anyway.

I always feel better when the sun shines :) I really do.

I've decided that I take myself far too seriously in many regards and not serious enough in matters that really...uh, matter. I vaklempt endlessly about whether some jerk likes me or not (when how does that matter or affect my life in any real way?) yet I am v. offhand and causal about my recovery life. This is backwards, no?

My first step in changing this up is to eat way, waaaay better, sleep well (avoid paranoid, traumatized fantasies right before sleep) get a bit of recovery-speak from somewhere (god, I hate those people, but maybe could go to Online Recovery community and not have to actually be in their presence?) and read recovery material on daily basis. Maybe, just maybe, I might BEGIN to recover. All my angst is merely addiction-based bullshit and I need to get over it before I turn 80.

Anyway--next time anyone feels like looking into the abyss--just don't. have a cuppa instead and think about something else. ANYTHING else.

I watched INTERVENTION last night and it ripped my heart out. God, addicts can be a PITA.

recovery speak online? If I could butt in I would recomend music or witty quotes or anything else than listening to a bunch of condecension or worse, that 'one up manship' in the complaints department. I never ever ever do the group pity me thing because it just seems like an extention of that need based addiction. Am I right? I mean really. It's a prop right?

I like your first thoughts. Get better sleep and if the body is ill fix it and rest into the fact it might take a month. Listen to good music and yes soalk up that sun!

Well...maybe I'll just re-read Stuart Smalley's book: I'M GOOD ENOUGH, I'M SMART ENOUGH AND DOGGONE IT! PEOPLE LIKE ME! ;)