I think it's this year's magnetic ribbon.

The only setting where that doesn't look out of place is on a police car. When we had an officer killed in a rollover vehicle accident the replacement vehicle was dedicated to him.

The Secret

don't worry, nobody has the
beautiful lady, not really, and nobody has the strange and
hidden power, nobody is
exceptional or wonderful or
magic, they only seem to be
it's all a trick, an in, a con,
don't buy it, don't believe it.
the world is packed with
billions of people whose lives
and deaths are useless and
when one of these jumps up
and the light of history shines
upon them, forget it, it's not
what it seems, it's just
another act to fool the fools
again.
there are no strong men, there
are no beautiful women.
at least, you can die knowing
this
and you will have
the only possible
victory.


( by some old guy, He died in the 80's. When we look at our own mortality we all come to the same conclusion)

No, it is in FL too and is tacky as hell. Makes me miss Calvin pissing on stuff... perhaps soon he will be pissing on some kid's grave.

It's whatever you trick yourself to believe...that sucks. It's not worth it to me to lie to myself.

Ah! Good ol Calvin. I miss that guy. Some of the things he pissed on were actually pretty amusing. I'm glad to know though that it's not just happening here in Kansas. I wonder what the next trend will be?

Love the Jack Handey!
"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something."

lol...I love me some Jack Handey too...how about these?

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then at the very end, there's a page you can lick, and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy, and people will try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.

If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion, or the tiger, or even the elephant. It's a shark, riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like more money, and I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy, just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake.

It's funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then look back at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you'll do whatever anybody tells you to.


LOL...ok, I'm done...there are a billion more out there that are funny...i'm just tired of reading. :)

A few more
 

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

OMG I just can't help myself! :D

Those are awesome Shawnee! I've never heard the soldering iron one! That's classic. Thanks for sharing!

Anyone ever wake up and realize that they were someone or some thing they never intended to be?

Yes, all those acolytes are so noisy....sigh. ;)

I never really intended to be anything... so no.

Yup... older than 30.

Married. In the military. Bald.
Any one of those things would have made me run screaming with the heebie-jeebies as a teen. One day, though, I looked at all my possibilities: college and the professional world, a blue-collar job, factory work, etc. etc. and realized that the civilian world, for now, was not for me. Just too damned boring. As for losing my hair... I LOVE IT. I shaved my head, and I never ever have to worry about that crap again. Freedom. And I'm way more aerodynamic.
And Ibram... give it time. Seen American Beauty lately? Don't Let It Happen To You. Just remember, WOMEN ARE EEEEEVIL. Except the cellarites, of course- they're all very charming, intelligent ladies.

I'm half-kidding, AG. I dont aspire to be nothing; I dont aspire at all. I just do.