I'm a sales rep - I drive for a living. I typically spent about three hours a day in my big, powerful, anonymous (and mind numbingly boring to drive) company car. At least once a day I'm privileged to experience the joy that is Queensland’s M1 Motorway. It's actually a pretty good road, just full of idiots.

It's been raining here for the first time in several weeks. People forget how to drive in the wet, and still insist on sitting four inches from your back bumper, regardless of conditions.

Yesterday, wet roads, 110kph, middle lane, moderate traffic, I'm being tailgated by the typical wombat; the traffic in front of me brakes for an unknown reason. Because I had heaps of room between me and the car in front of me, I had no problem, but the guy behind me wasn't so clever. He's stomped on his brakes, no ABS, and started fishtailing - first a little left, then a bigger right, then a much bigger left which has turned him around completely. He didn't hit anything, but was left facing oncoming traffic, in the wet, in an 110kph zone, on the motorway.

I totally wish I could go back and point and laugh while he recovered from his "brown trouser moment".

Today, wet roads again, right (fast) lane, 112kph, heavyish traffic. I'm driving just over the speed limit in a heavily policed stretch of the Motorway. There are cars in front of and beside me, so I can't go any faster or change lanes, even if that was my inclination. Another dickhead in a small 4WD (that's an SVU to you Americans) is right up my arse with his lights on beam, getting more and more agitated at my not getting out of his way.

(Memo to tard: - This is Australia, not the Autobahns of Europe, small penised speeding inbreds in cheap tin boxes are NEVER going to get me out of their way by flashing their lights, no matter how close they get to my back bumper. Mine's a company car, dickhead, you can run into it from behind all you want, it's not gonna cost me a cent.)

I resisted the urge to hit the brakes to see if I could spin him too, instead relying on the old favourite: click the cruise control back by 2kph a few times and see just how agitated he could get. It worked, he eventually went round me. I think his blood pressure may have been a tad higher than earlier. :p

You just see soooo many idiots. [sigh]

My husband loves to play that game. Except instead of fishtailing, they just rear-end him, and then they turn out to be uninsured. I can't tell you how much I hate the "tap on your brakes to teach him a lesson" game.

Scott, when he was Scott, when he was he, used to tell a story... where this big old pickup truck was tailing him or his friend, with all its beams on, going down I95. So they slowed down. And the truck continued to ride 'em. So they slowed down some more. And more. And more until they were going like 10 MPH... and then the tailing truck gets rear-ended. The ideal outcome!

But at the same time, do have the money for a large caliber handgun that they happen to have with them at the precise moment that you'd like to twist their heads off...