Chuck Norris made a thread in which only macho guys (and one smokin' hot chick) would even think to reply to.

Chuck Norris jokes are old.

I declare this henceforth as the Keith Richards thread.


90% of Keith Richards' blood isn't heroin... but 90% of heroin is Keith Richards' blood.

In English, Methuselah translates as "Keith Richards".

Keith Richards has looked the same since he was 25 years old, when he was challenged by Chuck Norris to a guitar solo contest...which Norris won.

Chuck Norris shot-up all the heroin but was only mildly 'buzzed'.

Chuck Norris can get and does get blood from a stone, pulls teeth from a hen, and pisses up a rope. he enjoys the challenge.

It is not true that the world is supported on the back of a giant turtle. It is supported on the back of Chuck Norris, so that he can get adequate exercise while doing push-ups.

NASA announced today that, while the Shuttle has proven to be capable and reliable now that new safety procedures are in place, the proposed servicing mission for the Hubble Space Telescope will be facilitated by Chuck Norris, who will simply order it to "Halt!" and "Lie Down!" so that ground technicians can make the necessary repairs.

Chuck Norris drank out of my coffee mug. When he was done I took it back to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher, but it was already spotless, including coffee stains that had been on it for years.

Chuck's penis is over a quarter mile long.

Chuck's wife is a former embassador who spoke out against WMD in Iraq, but the Cheney administration has no plans to divulge Chuck's covert CIA affiliation

Chuck Norris doesn't actually *need* to breathe, but he does so anyway to keep other people from feeling inferior.

Chuck Norris assassinated JFK.

Chuck Norris climbed out of my television and gave me the best head I ever got.

Chuck Norris wears a leisure suit, and looks goooooood in it.

Chuck Norris picked up Harlan Ellison, said "Hello," and put him back.