Originally Posted by lookout123 (Post 475957)

Was college an expectation growing up? Is it for your kids?

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle (Post 476114)

Timely thread. I've hated school since about 3rd grade, but because of parental and general societal pressure, I went all the way and graduated with a Bachelor's degree in CS in December 2006. That was despite dropping out of both high school and college for a semester each.

Last fall I came to England to get a Master's degree because I was convinced I didn't want to be a programmer anymore, which is what I've been doing professionally since '01. I figured I'd become a project manager or a management consultant (one of the good, non-sleazy, wonderful ones). During the course of the program it became apparent that my previous troubles with school are probably not figments of my slackitude; school really makes me sick. More than that, I found that programming is most definitely as close to a calling as I have.

So anyway, why did I call this thread timely? I'm about 3 weeks away from finishing, and my project is in shambles. Last night I decided to quit making myself ill. I'm not going to finish.

I am going to succeed anyway, on my own terms, doing things I like in the way I like to do them.

(Sorry if this is all jumbled. I'm still recovering from my stress-induced near-death.)

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle (Post 476181)

I appreciate the support, but it's beyond that point. I tried the 24 hours (and 48 and 72) of relaxation. The minute I dove back into my work, all full of optimism and enthusiasm I was right back in a very bad place.

Making myself sick includes: nausea every night before bed, with actual vomiting on occasion; compulsive eating; severe stomach aches; and a resurgence in anxiety and depression symptoms that I've kept locked down for the last several years.

This is not the kind of sick that can continue for another three weeks, unless I want to make myself seriously unwell in a way that will take months to recover from. And that's assuming that I would be able to recover this time. I drove myself to the precipice. Now is the time to back up and re-evaluate where I stand.

SG, if I can find a ticket down for a reasonable price, I'll come see you and we can have a pint (of soda for me) and curry.

For right now, I'm happy to fix my head and continue supporting my girlfriend in finishing her thesis.

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle (Post 477779)

I'm a whore. I'm doing it. After two days of work I have 5,000 words out of a maximum of 12,000; I'm shooting for 9-10,000, so I'm half way or more.

I have my final room inspection on Tuesday and submit my paper the following Monday.