The Cellar - Serious: Relationships & Opinions

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)

- Home Base (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=2)

- - Serious: Relationships & Opinions (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=21895)

Not really uncanny, belonging to a group where you feel you belong, having people available that understand, and can commiserate, when you talk about what bothers you most. Especially when what bothers you is hard to explain, hard to express.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper (Post 627427)

I need a little advice. Please put on your serious hats and help me out.

I'll tell you this first -- I am a fairly conservative chick, politically. But not totally. I like to think I've got an open mind, an informed mind, a logical mind.

My husband, OTOH, is a conservative on par with Beck & Limbaugh.

Don't hate him. I think he's just suffering through a confused mid-life crisis. He'll get better eventually.

But the question is, what the hell do you do when the person you love most has some really stupid political philosophies? When he's sometimes downright bigoted and homophobic?

One thing you do is, when he says he wants you to sign him up for the National Review, you say OK but "forget" to do it. :)

And you nod and uh-huh a lot, hoping he's just in a bad mood and really, he doesn't feel that way when he's more rested. Surely not.

I love the guy, he's got a lot of positive attributes, but this isn't one of 'em, and I don't know how to cope. You know what he'd say if I argued with him? He'd say that I was learning a bunch of Liberal crap from that college I go to. As if I am the one being brainwashed vs. actually learning facts. I have to report to him all the time on this or that prof who made a statement indicating he or she is not a flaming Liberal just to make him happy. My editing prof, for example, what a relief! Not that I care, it's just nice to have balance.

This is driving me nuts.

hmm...currently at work, so I haven't read through the other posts, so forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but do you both bicker about politics with the criticism you demonstrated in your first post?

Don't take offense, because we are all guilty of it, but of course it's always easier for an outsider to give the two cents, in these situations.

If both you and your husband exhibit to the other person that you are unwilling to bend or listen (you both HEAR what the other person has to say, but really, are you LISTENING!?), then it'll be a constant struggle. The fact that you said, "you know what he'd say if I 'ARGUED' with him"...indicates that you both are probably on complete opposite sides of the spectrum and that you are already aware that when it comes to politics, both sides are more closed than opened.

My mother was ultra-conservative and bigoted to the point where she probably figured Hitler had a good idea. I myself am pretty liberal and try to be open minded about other cultures/ethnic groups. I tried to never ever discuss politics with her and if she did get going on one of her rants, I would leave the room if possible. It has been my experience that once people acquire certains ideas, it is extremely difficult to change their minds. You just have to accept that the person is what they is.

Nah, he and I aren't complete opposites, he just takes it farther than I do. MUCH farther. Sometimes I can't decide if he really feels that way, or if he's just saying it to yank my chain. Or to mess with other people. He does that sometimes. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper (Post 627906)

probably to yank your chain then, if you display a noticeable reaction. I admit I'd probably do the same just to mess with my signitficant other. ;)

Sometimes the chain breaks, and the yanker gets hurt. :eyebrow:

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam (Post 627903)

It has been my experience that once people acquire certains ideas, it is extremely difficult to change their minds. You just have to accept that the person is what they is.

I would strongly agree. The hard part is NOT letting the other person's beliefs and standards take you down a road you don't want to be on.

I woulda shot him by now, so I have no advise to give you, Juni. :shotgun:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jujuwwhite (Post 628008)

I would strongly agree. The hard part is NOT letting the other person's beliefs and standards take you down a road you don't want to be on.

What was it Anita Liberty said? She was defining compromise in relationships when this little definition came out.

Compromise: Lowering my high standards just to meet yours.:p

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 627603)

He is who he is, you are who you are. You either work together or you don't.

However, willfully forgetting the magazine subscription is petty.

You owe him that National Review, and add a subscription to the Limbaugh Letter on for good measure.

Els, the same might be said of you darn lefties.

I repeat, I am *not* a leftie. I am a MOR/slightly Right leaning, non partisan American. Yes, there are extremist Lefties, too.

Someone mentioned that he might feel threatened by your new educational path, Juni. Is this arguing about politics something that's got worse since you started college?

Nope. I'm just not quite as good at ignoring him as I used to be. :)

Obama's election, and the right wing rhetoric that resulted, probably has him pumped up.