Perhaps, but it doesn't sound that way to me though you're not talking to me. That's your training kicking in. We've all experienced it. It's a good thing.

Go easy on the caffeine and carbs. Cancers love that stuff. :/

Oh honey, what a shitty thing to have to deal with. You'll get through though. At least you're in a much better place to deal with this stuff than you were before. Keep strong. Think about all the people who've beaten it and give a big Fuck You to cancer.

What Undertoad said.

Visualize squishing this puny thing under your heel, just destroying it, grind it into the ground and show it for what it really is: cowardly rogue cells just ripe to be taken out.

Thanks ... I was expecting to be told it was cancer, knew it was a T1 (so Stage I clinically for now), but have been pretty bummed about the Grade 3 histology. However. It just means I'll have to hit this thing with everything. This is war!

I've cleaned out my cupboards and fridge; no more cheese/meat/alcohol/fatty treats. In with the healthy food (I already had a bunch, but now it's the only stuff in there)! And the green tea ... have to see if I can find Japanese green tea that costs less than $20 for 2 oz. :eek:

I just want to be in the best possible condition to fight this. If I can take a load off my immune system by avoiding inflammation-inducing foods and stay in good physical shape, hopefully my body will have the resources to fight hard.

I told one family member tonight and that was all I could do. The biggest stress right now is the prospect of telling all my relatives. Especially my kids. Has to be done but ... :(

I can totally understand that, but that sucks that that's the way it is.

If it were my mom, I wouldn't want her stressing about telling me. I'd want her to break the news the easiest way possible for her, and if that meant a mass email to everyone at the same time, that would be what I'd want her to do.

Everyone seems to cope differently with telling people stuff like this. With our Mum, my brother and I knew as soon as she'd come out of her appointment with the specialist because for one thing, I took her to the app and then told my brother for her. Then I just rang the aunty in the family that likes to tell people stuff and let her do her thing. It was pretty easy and Mum didn't have to worry about telling anyone.

A friend of mine who is dealing with breast cancer at the moment hasn't even told her kids about the latest round of radiation she's having because she 'doesn't want to worry them'. Personally, I disagree with her choice there, but it's up to her.

It will be hard, ortho, but not as hard as what you've already been through. You can beat this puny walnut of a thing.

Thanks, guys. I've been stressing about this a lot, but I had a hilarious call tonight with my mother ...

She was terrifyingly abusive to me and my 3 sibs all through childhood/adolescence - the source of my bear phobias. She's a narcissist and now lives alone, secure in her view of how everyone has treated her badly.

So I called her to let her know, and she was totally perky and upbeat. It can't be anything, because no one else in the family (read: her) has had this; so it can't be anything major. Her mother had a benign tumor once, so this won't be anything either. More narcissistic stuff that I really shouldn't make public. :smack:

Anyway ... a little humor from unexpected (or expected) sources never hurts, right? :yelsick:

On the upside, I'm trying out some new healthy recipes. Made a fantastic Thai soup tonight. Yumm.

Absolutely, take it from wherever you can get it, and be thankful you can recognize it. That shows besides your fears, which is natural, you've got your head on straight and can handle this. :thumb:

By the look of the photos from the cowgirl trip, your "children" are grown up.

I think you should tell them directly, plainly, and openly, without taking on the extra burden of hiding things or "managing" the message.

Just my two cents worth.

From our local co-op:
Organic Green gunpowder tea - 14.00 / pound
Organic Green SenCha tea - 17.00 / pound

pm me if you'd like me to mail you some.

You will beat this thing! fuck cancer

Absolutely! There has to be a t-shirt somewhere that says that.

Yes.
http://www.google.com/search?q=fuck+...w=1186&bih=932