We've gotten a lot of sternly worded memos about abbreviations at work.

Not that we were ever actually using FLK, but we're not allowed to any longer, because it's not on the approved list.

What nobody ever explains is how things get on and off the approved list.

One of the most useful ones that we're banned from using ... h.s.

It means "hour of sleep." There is no other abbreviation for which it can be mistaken. None. We have to actually write out the entire word "bedtime" now, which is in danger of being confused for "bid."

We've also lost d/c, which can be "discontinue" or "discharge" depending on context.

They're taking all the good ones.

I'm not sure where they stand on SCUT, which doesn't mean what you think. It has nothing to do with unpleasant, menial, useless tasks, although SCUTs can cause scut.

It stands for "Schizophrenia, Chronic, Undifferentiated Type" and is obviously much easier to write on a chart.

And we write it a lot.

It's one of our more popular diagnoses.

Tell them that unless they want a staff full of trigger thumb, carpal tunnel and other hand/wrist CTD's (cumulative trauma disorders) on their hands they need to get you a STAMP with that dx on it. They need to be forward thinking in the ergonomics dept. !!

My ex boss will have 15 years at my old institution, and I am attending the employee recognition dinner. My sis in law organizes the event, and always asks for amusing or interesting stories about each person. I told her I would compose a fake letter from a student in response to a fake letter from my ex boss, who is known for speaking "Kathinese." Also we say that FA has more acronyms than the military. What I've written so far follows, though I may need to fix it up because I wrote it in like 5 minutes:

LOL! ;)

That's good.

Thanks. I see some errors in it but as a believer in accurate depiction of character I wouldn't want to try to make the student come off like a rocket scientist or something. ;)

I refrained from the angle of using actual conversations as it didn't seem in keeping with the "valuing people" agenda. lol

Sis in law wrote back and said it exceeded her expectations. I can't wait because my ex boss will love it! I do miss her!

Joint Commission has pushed most of this stuff wolf. I don't know if you guys use them as an accreditation agency but most hospitals do. They have made some good changes in standardization but their inspections still lack significant inter rater reliability.

My wife used to do network troubleshooting which included responding to calls from mgt execs having PC troubles.

Certain tickets got closed with a cryptic PICNIC written on them.

Problem In Chair Not In Computer. :-)

Other times she would need to "call down to the IT dept" to get some "expert advice" and would identify the problem as an ID TEN T."

This makes more sense if you substitute 10 in place of TEN and make it one word: ID10T. :-)

Pseudonavalese abbrevs: B1RD, PU55Y; recited, they sound a bit like they'd do something military, perhaps mobile or communications, for somebody military.

Then too, you can construct an AN equipment code designator to christen a submarine-launched carrier pigeon comms system. No shit. Recommended for littoral waters only... no, it wouldn't be AN/B1RD, sorry. There doesn't, incidentally, exist any distinctive AN designator for encyphering or encrypting equipment. Thus we bewilder spies.

Real Naval abbreviation: DicNavAb.

The US Navy's Dictionary of Naval Abbreviations, at least semiofficially. Got everything presently in use, and is about the size of a mediumish phone book.

I use to do that kind of work, too. We use to say we would accept the product back if they labeled it TFSTO. (Too fucking stupid to own.)

We have an acronym for new skiers/boarders at the ski hill where I work called LOFT. Stands for lack of fuckin talent and since it's meaning is only known to employees, we use it openly around customers. It's amazing how many people that come out have no sense of balance or coordination leaving them with no business being on one board or two.

How are you supposed to learn without actually doing it? Were you born knowing how to ski?

Bullitt must have been born here.

Actually, I am always kind of amused when people think because I live in Colorado I must ski. I use to ski when I was a kid, but I haven't in about 15 years. I tried learning to snowboard, once, but it is expensive, so I haven't gone since.

Nah was born in a coastal town in Southern California but I've been skiing since I was about 5. LOFT is used for people who just don't have the coordination abilities to learn how to ski. People are born with talent in some areas and sometimes significantly lacking in others. I've tried snowboarding too and I can say for certain that I have a significant amount of LOFT in that sport.

I am one of two people I know who have total LOFT on a bicycle.
My husband is the other one.

We have a phrase:

Oh you have a good one. (as in, terrible customer that you will have to deal with on your own because no one else here will handle that shit)

Or so and so has a good one!!

It is said right in front of customers, or after they have left. If it is a completely insane moron someone will stand there, or swing by, and mention it, to make you laugh so you can continue to plow through the ridiculous argument. lol

Sometimes it's yelled across the building from another work station when people can't hear it, but they sure as hell can see it from there ( the irritating customer ). Or the unfortunate moments they can hear it from there. No one has ever called anyone on it so far, so I suppose it works.