My posts ARE meanigful. See these posts? Look at these posts. I don't know how much more meanigful you could get.

And many parts of them are edible.

Mmmmmm edible....mmmmm

I couldn't vote for you, IM - you don't have enough posts. Though I thought about nominating Shawnee for a couple.

I've forgotten who I am? Who am I?

Having an identity crisis,

Infi

This one is for infinite monkey and Happy Monkey:



Sorry, it's in French.

We always called it the Ute Center (the juvenile detention center) at the nuthouse because of that.

For the Aussies ... they're called SUVs (Sport Utility Vehicles) here in the states, because taxation and registration is different for trucks, which is what they really are. Import tariffs are different too. That's how I understand it anyway, jim can confirm.

No it isn't. You fool me, you fooler.

Very fooled,

Infini Singe

Does Australia really exist? How many of us have really seen it? I think they made the whole country up. Come on now, giant hopping rabbits with pouches??

Seriously!

Yo, I am from Philadelphia. We wear backwards caps and say "yo" to both begin and end sentences, yo. Yo, we eat water ice for dinner and throw D batteries at all visiting sports teams. Aiyyo, oaty, get your fuckin' meat down here for our wawa sammiches! Ey, ey, I'm fuckin' dyin' ovah heah!

Ugh, too much beer!

Glad to see you back, Sarge!

It's a little known fact that Beldar and Prymatt can trace their ancestry back to 18th century rural
Pennsylvania.

I didn't know they were vampires

I grew up in Chicago but live in Philadelphia. I wear my beloved sports team jerseys and get beaten up regularly as I walk down the street.

Good sir,
The Society of Friends will be sponsoring a cattle drive to your fair city in these coming weeks. One of the community, a certain Hiram Evans, is a prince in his home country and has many cattle suitable for the cheese steak market. We can transfer these many cattle to your stockade, but need subsidy to undertake the venture. Being a prince, Hiram would normally finance this from his own vast wealth. Unfortunately, an assayer is necessary to value his gold holdings and nonesuch is available in the wilds of Penn's Woods. If you would forward by red indian a sum of 40 dollars, Hiram will guarantee you first choice of the 100 head of low-line cattle specially raised for the cheese steak market.

yours,
Oaty McGriff Esq.

:lol2: fucking hell I'm laughing so hard i can't breathe! Well played.

Yah. This and the original Amish post have all but done for me.

:notworthy

Can we please slow the thread? -beest is only on page 4 and you're posting faster than he can read. He's just got to the part where Jesus comes to Pam and ressurects Big Sarge. I'm worried he'll laugh himself a hernia if he reads any faster :(

I was late for work this morning, slept through my alarm...but I looked at the Cellar on the phone and read this whole thread anyway! My cat wondered why I was laughing so hard when I was hungover and running late.

The best part of waking up...

I don't know if there is one, and I'm too lazy to look.

This shows the active fires in TX:
http://txforestservice.tamu.edu/main....aspx?id=10588
(you have to download the latest google earth tho)

I'm north of Dallas, there are plenty of fires to the west of us, I think we have some dwellars in Ft. Worth so they'd be more affected than I am, but none real close by. We have had smoke in the air from them though on windy days. There is a small fire close to Houston it looks like.
Austin is about 3/4ths between Dallas and San Antonio (closer to San Antonio - no idea why our state capital is not starred on that map) and it seems pretty clear of fires. I think at least one dweller lives in west TX, there is a pretty big fire, but I believe the dweller I'm thinking of lives north west of that fire.

And the award for the Hottest Dwellar goes to...

(too soon?)

Not too soon, I don't think. Tulip? She's pretty hot.

I have a question about my most happy award...if I am grouchy one day, will it be taken away? It's mine! You can't have it! I will get very angry and leave if you take my hard earned award away!

Angry kerosene

Nah, it's like the Oscars. They didn't take Julia Roberts' Oscar away after she made Eat Pray Love.

:lol:

Very upset with movies,

Infi

DucksNuts!!

(rips open envelope and glowers at the peanut gallery)

And the winner is...

The dwellar who lives near Ft Worth!

ha

:D

Hang on!

This fire is only about 2.5 miles south of me, and the winds are coming from the south today. I still have a chance.

http://www.9news.com/video/default.aspx?bctid=914203357001&odyssey=mod|newswell|text|FRONTPAGE|featured#/News/Meyer+Ranch+fire+grows/49906872001/50183015001/914203357001

*Grabs award back from the dwellar who lives near Ft Worth*

Hello,

I am from Fort Worth and I wear a flame-proof suit and ten-gallon hat as I drive around between the dance halls and saloons in my F4250 truck made for me by the wonderful Mr. Ford. I eat grits and i shoot first and ask questions later.

love
Dallas McRappyhouseisonfire

The 10gallon hats hold the optimal amount of water for helping put out a wildfire.

I have an 11 gallon hat. It holds 11 gallons.

I have an 11 balloon hat.

Yes, but you look absolutely ridiculous wearing it.

I have an 11 gibbon hat. It looks like this but with more gibbons:

what is this??? I log on to see that my thread, which was about giving other posters awards, has benn derailed and destroyed?!

Everytime I post something; the topic does not get stuck to the original idea. Some people were interested in the award show, but others chose to take it in different, much different direction...

Disappointed in some of you,
Pam.

:p:

I look absolutely ridiculous in just about anything!

No one looks ridiculous in a 10gallon hat and spur-heeled cowboy boots.

p. pam, it's been a great thread. Thanks for starting it.

They never go where you expect them to.

I, too, am Disappointed in some of you. Here we all are, dressed to the nines in designer wear (monochromatic 11 gallon hats, fire-proof suits, et. al) trying to enjoy the biggest awards show of the year and some of you are treating it like it's some kind of joke.

Wagging my finger at Those responsible,
Brianna Roseanna Danna

I hope I'm one who you are disappointed in.

Longing to cause disappointment,

Infi

It's only "your" thread until you post it.

I know. I can't believe I brought out the gibbons for THIS. It's not very modern, I'll have you know.

Not very modern,

Infi

Oh, Infi, I can't stay mad at you!

You're an angel with a dirty face!

:ipray:

Giving face to a dirty angel,

Infi

And I can't believe i SHAVED for this! And not just my ass!!!

I am very mad that this thread has moved away from the fire discussion. I worked very hard to type all that information out. I even had to down load the google earth version 6 to look at the active fires. You hooligans have change the conversation all over again, and I am very very sad that you do not care that my state is on fire! This monster guy even went as far as to make fun of my state for being on fire. I bet he has never even been to Texas. Well, if he ever does come here, I will not help him navigate around the fires.

very angry, very sad, and covered in 3rd degree burns
MTP

Laughing so hard at mtp that I'm going to get fired,

Infi

If you get fired then you will only deserve it for laughing at a poor 3rd degree burn victim.

I am really hurt that this thread moved on from the reason why I had to give myself an award.

I'm not being funny, but some of the people awarded had LESS posts than I have.
And are more stupid.
And don't have big tits.
I know I don't hit a "home run" (I think that has something to do with baseball) with every post, but surely over time I have accrued some attention, if only for persistence.

I currently have two Dwellars - TWO DWELLARS! - using my words in their sigs. It was three until recently. And then Brianna defected. Fucking bitch.

I know I am a foreigner here. And yes, I am shortsighted. AND I am on anti-depressants, so go on haters, hate away. I'm just disappointed that so many of you have jumped on the hate-depressive-bandwagon. You make me sick. I'm seriously thinking about leaving.

I'm particularly diasappointed with Monnie, who is usually so very supportive.
Excuse me if I lock myself in my room for a while.

I am very disappointed that no one in this entire thread mentioned me at all. Where is MY attention? I think I deserve some attention too.


Sadly lacking attention,

Stormie

:mad2:
 

No eggs dye Chocolate, cadbury eggs or jelly beans for any of you! This thread is about my Cows and Chihuahuas!!!! :mad2:

Now please listen to my acting:mad2: audition, I need an agent

Love Tallulah

PS No wire hangers EVAH!

I will not be celebrating Zombie Jesus Day this year. I will spend it alone locked in my room, not even worried about the world being over run with Zombies and my Zombie costume will just go unworn. I will not send any of you my severed finger or mashed brains. I know now that there is no such thing as Zombies so there is no Zombie Jesus!

Losing my religion,
MTP

Wow! And now I see the imitations about me starting to be posted. People even signing their names at the bottom of their post; along with a short blurb about their emotional state.

You know what they say about imitation, do you not??? I am flattered.

WINNING,
Pam

I am very mad at Sundae Girl. He called Brianna a bitch, and he is NOT a bitch. I'm going to tell Mr Undertoad about this behavior.

Very mad,

Mad

:mad:

Its not imitation, its satirizing.

Explaining,
MTP

I am flattened, too. I was trying to find my way through NY (no one would help me) and a big truck carrying bagels ran me right over!

:rotflol:

Hi Stormie! I see that you are from Floriduh. Do you grow oranges?

Inquisitive,

Infi

Christ! Like I give the damned about your finger!
I don't understand Infi. Please tell me because I'd like to understand. I think you might be making fun of me, but because I don't know any American women that I like, I'm not sure.

Of course if you do mean to be mean, all I can suggest is that you speak to Mr Flint. He will probably advise you to buttfuck yourself in the mouth.

Also, please stop in your attempts to parody me. I have copy-rited this.

Buttsecks,
Sundae