OK, I need to read whole threads to see where they have drifted off to before posting. Yipes. Sorry.

Good Luck BigV!! The unknown scares the hell out of most of us. I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said better, so I'm crossing my virtual fingers till good news is heard.

I'm with you, BigV. I've got the resume done, I'm in need of a simple cover letter -- somehow, I just can't get it done! :worried:

It. Is. Done.

Not only is the resume, cover letter, application and email done, I have already received a kind *personal* reply in acknowledgement of my resume. :swoons:

God, I can breathe again.

No sweat, you'll have a pair of goats by spring. ;)

How many candles do you want me to light, BigV?

Hint: Put cinnamon in your shoes before you go for the interview. As you drive there on the big day, visualize yourself being offered the job. You're as good as hired, big guy.

When it comes to the interview, BigV. just remember, you are interviewing THEM! "Let's see is the outfit worthy enough to acquire my services?" Oh, and if they ask you that crap about what your greatest weakness is, answer them with a STRENGTH! Like, "Probably my greatess weakness is my drive toward perfection. I find myself putting in long hours to see that my work is done well. I get annoyed with myself sometimes that I can't just let something slide, but it is important to me to get the job done right!" You know, stuff like that. Or you could always say, "I sir, am an ass" and then quote Dogberry's lines from Much ado about Nothing!

Imagine the sorts of questions you would ask a potential employee, and have well thought out answers for them. Be prepared for the uncomfortable question of "Why did you leave your last job?" You may even want to take the bull by the horns and bring it up before they can. "Company Blech is simply uninterested in new technology and innovation. I felt that my career was suffering as a result. I am aware of the great things you are doing here at Company Wonderful and feel that I can make a worthwhile contribution to your goals here, as well as my own." Or whatever. You get the idea, I'm sure.

Good luck! And don't forget the cinnamon! :thumb:

My :2cents: :

Be yourself.

You rock, are articulate and kick ass every way till Sunday. That will show thru face to face. Unless this is the first interview the interviewer had ever done, they will see thru the BS and write you off as a fake if you try to be something you are not for the sake of trying to impress.

So far, I have yet to be fired *knocks on wood* so I really don't know how to handle that part of the interview, but if it were me, I'd be honest. "I gave the job away, learned lessons X Y and Z, and won't do it again."

We're all rooting for you, and you know it. Kick ass!!

Oh, and if you don't get interviews right off the bat, don't fret too much (I know, easy for me to say, who's not eating ramen and saltines for dinner) a lot of places have to post jobs even though they already have someone internally that they planned on putting in that position. Keep at it, and post here to help let the steam and nervousness out.

Having spoken with BigV outside of the cellar, I can vouch for his wit, charm, and ability to articulate his thoughts clearly on the fly. Don't let his handwringing fool you, he'll have a job offer before February rolls around. March at the latest.

Um, am I still allowed to post about miscellaneous problems I have which make me in need of generic support?
Because I do have some stuff that's bugging the CRAP out of me, but I don't want to take the support and attention away from BigV, who probably needs it more trhan me...

I don't know. I'm kind of drunk right now and contemplating going to the store for some cheese. I would like to talk if anyone wants to listen, though :)

Uhhhh... Only if the store is walking distance :headshake

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese. :yum:

Don't worry, I found some in the freezer :)

However, cats are designed to be flattened by trucks.

.

Dog people are notoriously feisty and picky when they think you aren't doing the right thing.

So, I wouldn't tell them that you have tired of this dog after a very short time because she is submissive and "goofy" and "homely" and has a few behavior problems... after being shipped literally across the country alone by an unreliable breeder who ripped you off.

I would also not tell them you are trying to get full price return for a puppy you know will never be show quality.

On another topic, I seriously recommend quitting this practice of giving insulting nicknames to those you want to care about and be close to. In the long run, it is an unloving practice and only serves to bring down both you and them. Habitual harshness or bitterness makes one permanently harsh or bitter. Like those dog people at petfinder. Don't be like them.

If you don't like submissive dogs, please don't be a breeder.

Being a dog lover, and having had quite a few, I find this discussion sort'a depressing.

As you found out, you can't buy them sight-unseen if you're looking for specific attributes. Dogs have emotions & feelings. They develop at different rates. The puppy you have today may not develop into what you expect tomorrow.

So this puppy gets fucked at both ends and you seem to suggest she's too submisive or actually enjoys it. Could be she feels intiminated by being ganged up on. Maybe it eats and sleeps in piss because its the only place she feels safe. Maybe it eats shit because it tastes better than the dog food, or because it thinks you like it. etc, etc, etc. At any rate, its doing these things for reasons that may have nothing to do with whether or not she enjoys it.

Actually I think shipping a puppy across the country in a box like a comodity is criminal. The dog suffers just to satisfy your ego in having a show dog. It's not the dog that's fucked up, it's you. Pretty sick.

You will always get some submissive dogs. That's pack behavior, I don't care what breed.

Stacy , you bought a dog on some body elses word ?????
Well you GOT what you payed for .

I always prefer to sit down in a crowd of puppies and make my own choise , sort of a feeling wich puppy will mature into the dog I want to have , so far I have only had 1 dud , he was a good dog just not the brightest knife in the drawer ( if'n you know what I meen )

Well, Stacey, I wouldn't post on that other board that "no animal shelter treats its dogs better." That's lowering the bar considerably. The Humane Society here keeps dogs in kennels with small concrete runs. The kennels are hosed down once or twice a day, the dogs are adequately fed and protected from the elements. After x amount of time, any dog which hasn't been adopted is given a bar of soap and sent off to the showers.

It doesn't take an amazing amount of skill or investment of time to treat a dog as good or better than that.

If I had a husband I called "buttfuck," I'd get rid of him. If you want to keep a buttfuck, its your life, do as you please. I actually clicked on your link and checked out that site and the members there seem to think you should get rid of your husband, as well, for cruelty to animals.

And it is dead on that if you don't like submissive dogs, you shouldn't be breeding them. Dogs are social, pack animals. Only one gets to be the alpha member of the pack. The other pack members are subordinate to the alpha animal. If this bugs you, either keep only one dog or get yourself a school of fish.

I suspect that your other dogs are following your cues in your dislike of this chihuahua which may indeed be a more submissive animal by nature, and ganging up on it. The behavior you describe is that of an animal which feels completely terrorized. It is highly abnormal for a dog to respond in the manner you say this puppy is responding. You don't like its personality, you don't like its looks and you feel ripped off. I suggest that you cut your losses and out of kindness to the animal, GIVE IT AWAY to someone who will treat it decently - not with resentment and not calling it nasty names. Maybe Busterb would take it off your hands. I bet it would be a thousand times happier living with him and Sheila.

If the breeder did indeed rip you off, then I'm sorry to say that it was most likely your own fault. If you researched the breeder, checked into the bloodlines of her animals, checked to see if she has been winning shows with them, asked around about her to other breeders, chances are 99.999% that you would have recieved an acceptable pup for your money.

I did all these things before buying my pup. The breeder had me apply to get one of her puppies which impressed me enormously. She went to the trouble of importing my puppy's sire all the way from Australia to keep the genetics of her litters as free from inbreeding as possible. Both the sire and the dam of my pup are AKC champions in herding and agility. I got a picture of my pup at 3 weeks and more pictures which I posted here of the pup at 8 weeks. At 12 weeks, she is still the same pup, only bigger and a little less pudgy. She's a wonderful Corgi pup and I am enormously pleased with her. I spent half of what you did for my pup, too. I did a lot of homework before getting her, but that time was well worth it. The result is asleep at my feet with her head on my foot and I call her "Corgette" - NOT "Pisser."

Warning - Very Long Self-Indulgent Post
 

This time last year I believed that 2005 would be my year. I was already 2 months into a health kick – losing weight, exercising etc. My ex agreed to pay me £2000, and although he attached some weird conditions to it and it wasn't even half of what I believe he owes, I'd mentally written it off in my head already, so it was a pleasant surprise. This and working 6 days a week meant that I finally paid off all my debts – no loan, overdraft, credit card, store card etc.

I booked to go speed dating in April and was going to Italy in May for a friend's wedding. In short I felt my life was improving and my hard work meant I could be proud as well as satisfied.

Some time between May-July things started slipping. I lost 4 stone but didn't quite reach my target weight, maintained for about a month and then started gaining again. I lost focus, stopped exercising, started eating & drinking more. I dated 3 men I met at speed dating but I just didn't fancy any of them. I went on about 4 dates with one, thinking I might have been judging too quickly, but the spark was never there.

I started spending more of my money on drink, which meant I put more weight on. None of the funky clothes I bought earlier in the year fitted me & I started making excuses if I was asked out. I ran out of money halfway through each month anyway, and put off paying bills until the next payday to leave me more money for beer & takeaways.

I am now at the highest weight I have ever been in a whole history of yo-yo dieting. I am about £100 behind on bills and haven't had my hair done since September (as I have highlighted hair this shows very clearly).

I finally cleaned my flat at the weekend and it took 7 hours to do 3 rooms (I still have the bedroom to do) because it looked like the sort of place a drunk would go to die. I feel like someone has beaten me with a big dirty stick because I pulled all the muscles in my legs & back cleaning. I feel better about going home knowing my living room & kitchen are clean, but last night I slept on the sofa & probably will again tonight because sleeping in the bedroom the way it is makes me disgusted with myself.

Anyway – I have lower expectations this year. But I do want 2006 to end better than it started. I think I have taken the first baby steps, but not sure how to keep moving forwards. I need to stop drinking (this is going to be the hardest). Then I believe I can slowly lose some weight, introduce exercise, work on getting out of my flat. At that point I might be capable of looking for love again.

Am partly looking for words of wisdom, partly just getting all this off my chest because I won't admit to anyone I know in real life how badly I screwed things up last year.

On the bright side, at least you were doing it to yourself and not someone you were caring for like a child or parent. :)

Sundae, you can always start over. I'm facing that as well. A few years ago I lost a lot more than just a few stone ... I think it should be measured in boulders. Anyway, through inattention, stress, and just plain sitting on my ass laziness I haven't regained the whole load, but near enough ...

You can always start over. You've managed it once, and you will again. Sometimes it helps to have a buddy to do it along with? Have you tried that yet?

If beer is a problem, maybe you should switch to wine.

Sundae Girl--well, you know how very well I relate to all of this, but I wanted to let you know that I will cheer you on and celebrate every victory, and every decision to try again (knowing how much and how often my own self has to try, try again.) You've tackled a huge job (cleaning the flat. And believe me, I've lived in similar abodes. I'm living in one right now!) and you've put it out there and you are brave. I'm with ya, Girl! Oh, and, I think you are smashing! :)

...and you've no idea how badly I want to eat french fries smothered in mayo right now. Will it ever end?

Thank you Wolf - it does help put things in perspective. I've been seeing things in black & white terms (I had everything & threw it all away) but you're right - pick myself up & start again.

And thanks Brianna - I know at least I have an on-line buddy I can talk to about these things. I do wish I had someone closer though.... Am tempted to join Weight Watchers just for the company, but I worry that any plans are doomed to failure if I don't control my drinking first.

And that is SO hard.

Drinking is rather 'hard wired' into my brain. I realize I did that to myself, but, if you can think of it as something like a needle stuck in a groove...like, the feeling of "oh, I REALLY want/need to drink" being a well-worn track in your brain, something your brain will always immediately go to because it's a known path seems to help me to deflect that particular groove. I say to myself, "That's just my first thought. That's where I always go. It doesn't mean it's destiny."

That probably didn't make any sense. Anyway--just know yourself. I always get a particular 'itch' right before I find myself in the liquor store parking lot. My brain feels controlled, my actions feel controlled, like I am a slave to it. I have to (lots of times OUT LOUD) tell myself I am NOT a slave to drinking and that I CAN drive away without a bottle.

I tried to reply to you earlier, Sundae Girl and my lengthy response got vanished off into the ether at the furtherest edges of the Internet somewhere. Alas!

Lets see if this second attempt will work.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but what I got from your post is that you have a problem with alcohol which is making other personal difficulties even more difficult to effectively address.

You want to lose weight, but alcohol only guarantees that you will, at best, stay at the same weight as you are now, maybe even become heavier. You would like to get your debts paid down, but alcohol guarantees that your credit cards will remain maxed out until the end of time. You'd like to meet a new guy, but alcohol guarantees that you will be so filled with self loathing that you just go into hiding from the world.

Your problem is alcohol. Period.

It is very, very difficult to stop drinking on your own. A few people do manage to pull this off, but most just keep on drinking. I admire the hell out of Brianna that she can tell alcohol that she and not it is the one in control. Most folks are simply unable to do this. I can't.

In another thread I wrote that I know that I could easily become the person who single handedly supports a small Californian winery if I don't put the brakes on. When I found myself skating on thin ice over a lake of good Kentucky bourbon in the past, I went down to the local AA group. I completely stopped drinking for 5 years. I now drink in moderation, but I have an internal govenor which will send me straight back to AA and complete abstinence if I sense myself heading for a repeat trip down the same old road.

AA is everywhere. I'm sure there's at least one group in the area where you live. It won't hurt a thing to go check that group out. AA is strictly anonymous and no one there is going to stand in judgement of you for having the same difficulty as they do. This might seem like a drastic step to you, but from what you describe, alcohol is impacting your life in a very negative way and you are having a very difficult time refraining from drinking on your own. It may be very worth your while to look into finding a support group.

The other thing I got from your post is a sense of profound depression. You may be drinking to self medicate you depression. Ask your doctor about an anti-depreesent. It may take trying several before you and your doctor hit on the one that works for you and your brain chemistry. That's the other thing that has made a profound difference for me. I found a wonderful doctor whom I call my "brain chemist." He worked with me until we found a medicine that actually got me jump started out of the depression that I have suffered from all my life. I consider my anti-depressent meds to be no more shameful than what insulin is for a diabetic. Some of us just suffered from brain chemistry that causes us to be depressed. Its not a character flaw - its a physiological one.

Please keep us posted as to how you are doing. I'm sending positive thoughts across the pond for you! ;)

I think the problem is alcohol, yes. It's obviously not helping with the way I feel about things, or my motivation to change anything else in my life.

I don't really want to go to my GP to discuss anti-depressants while I am still drinking. I think I will either get a leaflet about the dangers of alcohol or maybe even a referral to a counsellor or alcohol support group – GPs don't like to prescribe drugs if there is an unresolved underlying problem. What I worry about there is that it will then be on my official health records, and I'll have to divulge this information if I apply for another job or a mortgage or anything official like that. I know that may seem a skewed way of looking at things, but I do have a horror of being officially labelled with a drink problem and that coming back to bite me in years to come. It would also mean admitting I have a problem of course, which is a step I am only just about to take.

Maybe I really should consider AA. At least to say I've tried it. Part of my hesitation in the past (apart from not wanting to admit, again) is the emphasis on spirituality. Then again I've overcome this sort of thing before when dealing with Christian groups... I'll have a think anyway, and I'll let you know how I get on. Thanks for your advice.

I had no idea that information would be so public and/or be able to nix you from getting a mortgage, etc. I don't think you should divulge it, either, in light of that. Society is not very forgiving on either side of the pond.

I applied for a mortgage years ago (didn't go through with it in the end) and they asked pretty detailed questions on visits to a GP within the last 3 years.

The same with application forms for jobs.

I suppose I could just refuse to answer...? That sort of thing doesn't tend to occur to me until afterwards! I'm not sure where I would stand if someone asked to see my records. They have no right to see them witout my permission, but it's feasible that a condition of employment might be access to them at some point in the future?

Anyway - borrowing trouble here. I'll see that as a possible option but avoid it for the time being.

As I understand it here in the UK AA is not so spiritually oriented, you are encouraged to get the strength you need from whichever source suits you best ... It probably depends on the group leader/co-ordinator a bit, but in the Midlands you should be able to find a number of groups within striking distance, and so find one that suits you. If you are considering Weight Watchers as a support group then support groups are something you think you would benefit from. I'd say give it a go and best of British to you!

Since this is generic support group....
 

I need support. I'll be straight up: I'm lonely :( . I haven't been alone in 6 years before now and it's tearing me up.

Right - joined Weight Watchers rather than AA, but haven't had a drink in over a week & intend to stick to that.

WW is awful - I forgot I'm not a group person, but I'll use it as an incentive. I've promised myself I will keep going until I've lost 4 stone, after that I'm on my own.

Talking of being on my own - Laebedahs, I know it feels all wrong when it first happens, but you may come to appreciate it. If you set out to meet someone just for the sake of being in a couple it rarely lasts. There are a lot of advantages to being on your own that you don't really appreciate for the first few months.

If you're a list person, draw up a list of the things you can do now that you couldn't before. Even if it's cooking kippers or drinking straight from the orange juice carton. Buy the books you always meant to read - or get them out of the library. Start an exercise regime or a fiddly DIY project.

Fill your time basically.

If you can learn to value your freedom then time spent alone isn't wasted - it's a useful thing to experience. I think it benefits most people to be self-reliant and you are still young enough to know there will be someone in the future for you. Just keep reminding yourself that loneliness won't kill you & there are worse states to be in. That helped me anyway!

But you do have my sympathy...

Good for you and weight watchers, Sundae Girl! I think any support group is helpful in a situation like yours. It gets you out of your house and allows you to see that other folks are struggling with issues, too. The very best of luck to you!

Laebedahs, the end of a long term relationship or marriage is always difficult. Sometimes the loneliness seems to just echo around in your head, as vast as the Grand Canyon.

Find things that interest you in 3D land. Take a class or join a poetry group. You do write pretty good poetry. In my town there's a weekly poetry slam group that meets that is lots of fun. Its a great way of meeting like minded people.

It takes time to adjust, but you WILL adjust. The very worst possible thing you could do is just jump into a new relationship now to fill the void. Get yourself some buddies by going out in the world and doing things that interest you.

I'll send you a pack of banana chips in the mail! ;)

I feel lonely sometimes, too, then I go out and observe my fellow beings and end up thanking the gods that I AM alone. For the most part, people annoy me. I've very little patience and even less good will. I USED to have some (lots, I think) but it all got eaten up. I always end up doing things I don't want to do, saying things I don't mean and being someone I'm not. It takes a toll, though, being alone. Sometimes I fear I'm becoming the female equivalent of Ted Kaczinsky. Then I remember that I'm not that smart. :)

well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation!

*SOB*

I was going to post something late last night, but all my clever reponses seemed kind of dumb, so I got writer's block. I guess posting something dumb is better than not saying anything when it comes to showing you the lurve you need.

i lurve you!

So what's your situation, Brianna? Don't your sons live with you any longer? Did I miss a post about them moving out? Or are they always out of the house with their friends?

How often do you speak with real people?

um. ouch.

my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not.

I never speak with real people.

I'll go away now.

Don't worry about the guy in the ivory tower.

We live with a 19 yo teenage son; he has his own world and doesn't want us in it, barely see him. One needs adult contact; I thought that news reached the ivory tower by now, professor.

Sorry if I came across harsh. I honestly didn't mean to. :)

I was just curious about the details of your situation. You used to talk every once in a while about your kids, and you don't any more.

I get a lot from my kids, so I can't imagine being lonely as long as they are around. Of course, teenagers aren't the same as little kids. At least, I wasn't when I was a teenager.

Many years ago, I was living alone and was unemployed for about 3-4 months. It was very lonely. I spoke to real human beings (as opposed to typing on a computer) about 2-3 times a week back then. I didn't even have the Cellar to fall back on. It wasn't really enough. Some days, walking over to a 7-11 was the most human contact I would get.

I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully, Bri will be back after a short break.

For a Support thread, some folks have been fairly critical after people let loose with their honest feelings. That reinforces the idea that if you tell someone something, they can use it against you. So, you bottle it up inside until it explodes.

Maybe so, but sometimes those explosions are more revealing......feel better, too. :lol:

I did some looking around for a local poetry group, couldn't find any (wonderful backwoods city!). I'm sure I could find one if I started looking in the Atlanta metro area, but I really don't want to have to drive there. It isn't very far, it's just my car gets horrible gas miledge.

Why drive? Post it in the Cellar. :)

Is there a difference between support and validation? Sometimes I get the feeling that people don't want others' insight, they just want to hear that they're right about something.

I quit asking for validation from others directly. My problem is that I still seek it, but now I cloak it in self-deprecation. I say "does this suck?" when the only answer I care to hear is "of course it doesn't suck -- you are awesome".

Praise and derision make me equally uncomfortable, and I don't LIKE to hear either. But I continually seek them out. I crave attention of any kind, whether positive or negative, yet receiving attention makes me squirmy.

wolf, one to admit please.

My caveat: "I will support you in whatever you wish to do, or through any problems you are having, however, I do reserve the right to tell you when something is just damn stupid."

Just an update as it's about a month since I first raised these issues.

I've lost 9lbs so far at Weight Watchers. Lots to go, but I seem to be in a routine now and am steadily losing each week.

I fell off the wagon last week when I hurt my leg and got drunk on wine, but apart from that one night I haven't had a drink since 9 January. I gave up drink-fuelled smoking at the same time, so I seem to have cracked the lot all in one go.

I have a lot more money because of this three-pronged attack and am saving for a holiday next year and a suprise party for my Mum's 60th in September.

Needless to say I am feeling much more in control and subsequently happier. Thanks to those who offered support & suggestions - it did help break the cycle.

Well done Sundae Girl! Most impressive is that you didn't let the slip up with the wine convince you that you had failed and you might as well go the whole hog. You saw it for what it was - a temporary lapse. I admire you. Keep it up!

History has repeated itself.

I am hustling to get my resume ready for primetime. I will post more details as soon as I can. In the meantime, I'm officially the newest and hungriest job-seeker out there.

So sorry to hear that V.
Much support and good thoughts sent your way.

Sorry V!

But get back on that horse. You've done it before.

Oh, BigV! That is too bad! :(

How is the Seattle economy? Whatever it is, I'm sure a guy like you will find another job soon. :thumb:

Sorry V

Crap! Sorry V.

Well, that sucks. Somedays I have premonitions that I will have the same fate. For all our differences, I truly do wish you the best in this and that you get back up on your feet soon.

What little security we can muster can be so fleeting. :(