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10 cans of Red Bull a day?

Shit, you could take her pulse from across the room.

This was years ago, but I found the link in an old email so I thought I should post it here, just in case we haven't seen it.

Quote:

Dwarf gets penis stuck to vacuum cleaner

Posted Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:00am AEST

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or 'Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf', was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

So there you are in Glasgae, you've had a few too many, gotten into a fight with a lamp-post, and are waiting in A&E for the X-rays, and through your whiskey-haze you notice the guy on the seat across from you is a dwarf in a devil costume with a vacuum cleaner stuck to his wang. ... "Nurse? I think you may have overdosed my pain-killers"...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 570390)

Starring Valerie Bertinelli, next on Lifetime™...

Eyebrow shaver considered a weapon.

WTF?

and also WTF is an eyebrow shaver?

Good question. Must be for uni-brows.

Quote:

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported one school board member cut her finger on the device at a private meeting Tuesday and required stitches.

Guess it's not school-board-member safe. :rolleyes:

I cannot imagine how she (school board member) could cut herself on one of those. They barely cut your hair..... or so I'm told :eyebrow:

Probably took it apart. Not recommended for children under 3, or school board members. ;)

5 cops on paid leave after 1 flushes fetus

Quote:

MESA, Ariz. - Police in Arizona say five officers have been placed on paid leave after one allegedly flushed a fetus down a toilet.

Mesa Police Chief George Gascon (gas-KOHN') says four officers responding to a call about a possible miscarriage at a motel on Monday discovered a woman who apparently lost a fetus estimated to be 12 to 14 weeks old.

Gascon says an officer who wasn't at the motel instructed the four over the phone to flush the 4-inch fetus down the toilet rather than take it to a hospital.

A supervisor who was reading incident reports came across details about the disposal of the fetus and shared them with a superior.

Gascon says all five officers were placed on paid administrative leave pending an internal investigation.

He says police plan to forward the case to the Maricopa County Attorney's Office to see if prosecutors recommend charges.

"well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

I say the mother was a hooker that one of the cops got pregnant.

Ooooh Flint - thats good - very good.

Damn you got a devious mind.

That's some good police work there, Lou.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint (Post 571106)

I say the mother was a hooker that one of the cops got pregnant.

Better if:
I say the mother was a hooker that one of the cops got pregnant. Looks like the birth of a new investigation. (Looks sideways and takes sunglasses off a la Horatio Caine.)

STRAY dogs are commuting to and from a city centre on underground trains in search of food scraps.

http://classics.tumblr.com/post/96579206

or

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...cle2372125.ece

I am not sure if I am believing these are wild dogs.