Let's go camping.

so my xwife brought on a "rebuilding mutual respect" thing that turned out to be complete bullshit...the only thing she did in that convo was throwing salt on the wounds.

we literally had this conversation:
her "the only parenting you can do is your own actions"
me "which you limited to nothing..."
her "get used to it :p"
&
her: "quit trying to force yourself into something that isn't yours"
me: "its the biological father's then (who left before she gave birth)? what else do you have with him that you think i don't?"
"5 years of going through more shit then you think you had"

at the very least by her own logic, if the right for parenting comes from years of taking care of him, i have the last two years where she was never there, at best it would mean she has more of a right then i have but not that i don't have. but following her own logic is so inconvient...

and what about willingness to actually indure in order to get the child what he deserved? i stayed there long after i hated every moment i spent with her, when we had nothing but a faint hope of one day having the capaciy to fix our shit (mostly hers). she used that willingness to get what she wanted in every fight. used my love for her and our child against me again and again... which is how i started hating her in the first place.

i really really hate this women. building mutual respect? the capacity to respect her dies the more you get to know her. a personality only a mother and people who are required by law can love.

she can go on with her life, having every relationship die the moment anyone cares enough for her to use it against him until the kid had two dozen fathers and has grown up enough to judge her for who she really is and loose all respect for her as a person, walk out and never call back.

i want nothing to do with her little sick mind anymore.

may she rot in bitch hell.

Well, I'd say that definitely sounds like a pissed off post traceur. Am I reading it correctly that you met this woman when she was pregnant, and helped raise her child, and now she wont let you see the child?

i met her when he was 3 and we raised the child together until he was 5. i realized that doesn't sound like much but i was a stay at home dad (had problems getting my work visa & immigration takes time), which creates a lot of time and activities for bonding.

that was slightly over 3 weeks ago so its sort of fresh. the correspondance i refered to above was over the last few days and ended this morning which made me pissed. sort of a raising my hopes up and taking them away sort of deal.

Two years is a lot of time to spend with a child. Especially a small one. You would probably be the only father figure he has in his memory, so you're right to want to still care about him, especially if he's missing you.

Makes it hard to have a relationship when you're in another country though.

Do you intend to try and do that or maybe just hope that someone special comes along who can give him the love that you once did?

I can imagine how you feel right now though. I know my husband, who is not the biological father of my oldest two kids, would still want to see them if for some strange reason we ever split up.

if she allowed me to have a relationship with him i would find a way to immigrate there that didn't count on her sponsership. it might take a hell of a lot longer, i know cases where that took 5 years, but people still do it.

shes quite hot and impressive at first, so she will get man i have no doubt, but she's not very good at adapting to others and keeping relationships - i was staying for the kid for quite awhile before she dumped me, even as she was milking it to the very end. i doubt most man would do that. any man who'd love him like i did will find that she'll use it against him.

so basically i expect him to have many many short term fathers.

It's a shame when that sort of things happens to kids. :(

yes it is...

i am also a little pissed at danaC, who decided to be wise and explain to me why there's nothing i can do about it which wouldn't hurt the boy more then it has any chance of doing good by him... but she's awesome (and right) so meh, i'll let it slide.

Well, maybe there are things you can do, but you'd have to talk to you lawyer about that, or maybe after the dust settles a little, she'll realise that it would be good for him to see you? You never know what the future holds, but I guess the best thing you can do is get yourself settled and in a good frame of mind so you're ready for whatever does happen.

i did talk to a lawyer - well, an uncle whose a lawyer there. we didn't went through the adoption papers because we wanted to finish the immigration process first... so i can't get full or even shared custody.

as far as changing her mind, maybe. i'm not holding my breath though. what once seemed like attractive inner strength has since revealed itself to be extreme stubborness and often baseless pride that defines nearly all her actions. i am not closing the window on that one, but not going to spend my days looking through it.

moving on with my life is rationaly the only course of action i have, its just not... not very easy.

p.s.
danaC, please don't tell my xwife any of this or link her here. i would rather she still thinks i am at least considering a legal course of action so that she's hasitant to start a legal war.

I'm about to pull my f@%king hair out!

FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 11:33:28.964 Drawing:
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FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 12:45:14.618 Drawing:
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FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 12:55:41.229 Drawing:
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FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 12:57:59.161 Drawing:
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FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 13:18:01.115 Drawing:
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FATAL ERROR: Unhandled e06d7363h Exception at 75acd36fh

01/12/2012 at 13:19:50.415 Drawing:

I dunno squat about computers, but googling those errors gave a bunch of hits.

yeah i've done the same. went with what Perry said in the tech thread. i either need a higher version of AutoCad or have win7 replaced with xp.

Hey it's me. I can't fucking believe this shit and I can't really be completely frank about this so I will change up the details a lot. The industry has been changed

I get this letter that a movie company wants to use a bunch of my songs as part of the soundtrack to a movie. They want worldwide, eternal, derivative, and just about every other right that can be gotten for about 25 songs. As compensation they want to give me a copy of the DVD of the movie when it comes out.

This is a professional movie company and a hot shot director, and I am a professional songwriter. WTF?

I wrote the agent a super sarcastic letter that I am tempted to send. Fans of my prose will recognize it as my work.

You should send that.

Oh and, ehem, completely anonymous poster, drop by more often. You are cool and interesting. :)