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BigV 02-28-2013 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty (Post 854744)
Her point is that he *is* a male relative, yet he's the one who hurt her.

the point is that is what male relatives do, hurt people.

ZenGum 03-04-2013 06:36 AM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-21654930

DanaC 03-04-2013 02:44 PM

Good catch Zenster!

I like that they still don't know who he is. I also liked this bit from a shop owner who believes she may have sold him the outfit:

Quote:

Kathryn Sutcliffe, of Kirkgate Market's The Joke Shop, said she sold a Batman outfit to a man in his 20s a couple of days before the incident.

She said: "Usually they want the Dark Knight costume but he wanted this one. He wanted the one with the muscly chest as well. It's like the one Del Boy wears in Only Fools and Horses."


[eta[
hahahaha. Sorry, am reading as I post. Another bit:

Quote:

She may be one of the few people who knows the Bradford Batman's name, as he paid with a credit card and she has the receipt, but she said she would keep his identity a secret.

DanaC 03-04-2013 02:48 PM

Buttershaw, incidentally, is not a place to fuck about unless you can seriously handle yourself.

Sundae 03-04-2013 10:23 PM

You got butter you can fuck just about anything you want.
Or so I guessed from Last Tango in Paris.

ZenGum 03-05-2013 03:57 AM

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/ani...of-of-unicorns

We could make a thread just for the crazy shit in North Korea.

footfootfoot 03-05-2013 09:40 AM

China's got all the dinosaurs AND the Terra Cotta army, why shouldn't NK have something just as good? (Besides the Harlem Globetrotters)

Gravdigr 03-07-2013 04:51 PM

1 Attachment(s)
An oldie...

Attachment 43130

chrisinhouston 03-07-2013 06:14 PM

4 Attachment(s)
I love small town new paper crime reports! When I lived in California the Ojai news had The Police Blotter where I think they went out of their way to get a laugh. Here are a couple I have saved, not sure if anyone has put them here:

orthodoc 03-07-2013 07:16 PM

:lol: Enjoying an evening stroll - that's what we Canadians always say when we're up to something nefarious.

footfootfoot 03-07-2013 07:52 PM

Ortho, that should totally be your new user title:

Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian.

footfootfoot 03-11-2013 01:57 PM

Pussy is getting (even more) disruptive to society
 
Little Ferry Man Arrested in Hoboken after Vandalizing Downtown Bar

If a single clitoris can wreck a bar, imagine what an entire pussy could do.

(paging Helen of Troy...)

I didn't read the article, don't take me to task over the actual, irrelevant facts.

Crimson Ghost 03-12-2013 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 856448)
Little Ferry Man Arrested in Hoboken after Vandalizing Downtown Bar

If a single clitoris can wreck a bar, imagine what an entire pussy could do.

(paging Helen of Troy...)

I didn't read the article, don't take me to task over the actual, irrelevant facts.

Make you go antiquing, use a duvet, and color coordinate your clothes.

footfootfoot 03-13-2013 12:15 AM

They fail to say whether the Dolphins are Orthodox ;)
 
Alert: Escaped Ukrainian navy dolphins may have guns





Quote:

  • Killer Ukrainian dolphins on the loose
  • Dolphins are trained by navy to blow stuff up
  • Possibly just looking for dolphin love, not known when they'll return

WE interrupt your morning coffee to bring you extremely worrying news of three rogue dolphins on the loose.

In even more worrying news, the dolphins almost certainly have pistols and/or knives strapped to their heads and possibly their fins.

Here's the most frightening thing of all. This is not a gee-up. We repeat, this is not a gee-up.

If you still think it is a gee-up, you clearly haven't been paying attention to the Russian International News Agency RIA Novosti, which overnight reported that three of the Ukrainian navy's killer dolphins are on the loose.

Yes, killer Ukrainian Dolphins. There were five in the force and they all went rogue earlier this month. Two came back after a few days. But the other three are still out there...

xoxoxoBruce 03-13-2013 12:19 AM

Holy See, batman.
 
Quote:

On the day of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican are probably even redder than usual after it has emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna. The senior Vatican figure sweating the most due to the unlikely proximity of the gay Europa Multiclub is probably Cardinal Ivan Dias, the head of the Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples, who is due to participate in today’s election at the Sistine Chapel.
link

orthodoc 03-13-2013 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 856769)
They fail to say whether the escaped dolphins are Orthodox ;)

Of course they are; they're just living it up during Cheese Week and the Butter Festival. Come the start of Great Lent next Monday, they'll be sober, fasting, humble dolphins. Their fins will ache from making prostrations and they'll come back to port looking for their borscht and black bread.

ZenGum 03-13-2013 05:56 AM

Commando dolphins gone rogue ... or are they just on an expedition to take out some flying sharks?

footfootfoot 03-13-2013 10:49 AM

But are they on the same side as the bear cavalry?

footfootfoot 03-13-2013 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc (Post 856775)
Of course they are; they're just living it up during Cheese Week and the Butter Festival. Come the start of Great Lent next Monday, they'll be sober, fasting, humble dolphins. Their fins will ache from making prostrations and they'll come back to port looking for their borscht and black bread.

:biggrin:

xoxoxoBruce 03-13-2013 12:13 PM

Methinks I detect some Canadian optimism there.;)

Gravdigr 03-15-2013 12:55 PM

The dolpins broke free not just any old time...They waited to be armed...It was premeditated.

That's right...
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They did it on porpoise.




I'm here all week. Try the Unicorn brisket.

BigV 03-15-2013 03:48 PM

:snicker:

Gravdigr 03-19-2013 04:55 PM

Penis-Snatching Panics Resurface in Africa

Quote:

In a recent issue of "Pacific Standard" magazine, Louisa Lombard, an anthropologist at the University of California at Berkeley, described visiting a small town in the Central African Republic where she encountered two men who claimed that their penises had been stolen.

It seems that the day before, a traveler visiting the town had shaken hands with a tea vendor who immediately claimed he felt a shock and sensed that his penis had shrunk. He cried out in alarm, gathering a crowd, and a second man then said it also happened to him.

This is not the setup to a joke; it is a real psychological disorder called koro in which victims (mostly men, but sometimes women) come to believe that their genitals are shrinking or retracting into the body. The concern is not only for their sexuality, but also for their lives, since they believe that the condition may be life threatening if not reversed. In order to prevent further shrinkage, victims have been known to securely tie their penises with string or metal clamps — even sometimes having family members hold it in relays until treatment can be sought, usually from shamen or traditional healers.

The condition has most often been found in Africa in recent decades, though it has also been widely reported in Asia.

"In recent years, news media in several West African countries have reported periodic episodes of 'panic' in which men and women are beaten, sometimes to death, after being accused of causing penises, breasts, and vaginas to shrink or disappear," wrote Vivian Dzokoto and Glenn Adams in a study published in 2005 in the journal Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry. "At least 56 separate cases of genital shrinking, disappearance, and snatching have been reported in the last seven years [1998-2005] by news media of seven West African countries."

Victims of koro usually believe that a touch or "accidental" brush with a stranger caused the theft, in the same way that a pickpocket might steal a wallet.Dzokotoand Adams give one example of a 17-year-old man in Ghana who "claimed that he had gone to fetch water for his father and was returning when [the perpetrator] came behind him, touched him and immediately he felt his penis shrink until it was no longer visible."

Koro can be understood in a variety of ways; from a psychological perspective it can be seen as an example of mass hysteria or delusion, in which a collective cultural belief can be manifested in one person's experience — whether objectively "real" or not.

"Victims of genitalia-shrinking panics recover within hours or days after being convinced that the 'illness' is over or never existed, and most clearly lack any psychosexual problems," write sociologist Robert Bartholomew and myself, in the book "Hoaxes, Myths, and Mania: Why We Need Critical Thinking".

"Penis-shrinking panics are a timely reminder that no one is immune from mass delusions and that the influence of culture and society on individual behavior is far greater than most of us would like to admit. Yet the main reason for the absence of penis-shrinking epidemics in Western societies is their incredible nature ... but any delusion is possible if the false belief underlying it is plausible."

In this case the delusion is made possible by the underlying belief in witchcraft, or black magic. A 2010 Gallup poll found that belief in magic is widespread throughout sub-Saharan Africa, with over half of respondents saying they personally believe in witchcraft. Studies in 18 countries in sub-Saharan Africa show belief varies widely, but on average 55 percent of people polled believe in witchcraft.Because most Westerners do not believe in magic — or at least not in the variety that has the potential to shrink or steal someone's genitals — there is no underlying belief system that would make koro plausible and thus no one reports it.

No one has ever died from koro, at least not directly. Belief in koro can have deadly consequences: hundreds of people have been accused of stealing (or shrinking) other people's genitals, and dozens have been killed for the accusations. In many cases koro "victims" have shouted and asked bystanders to help apprehend the penis thief, whereupon the accused people — often as surprised as everyone else and protesting their innocence — have been lynched on the spot by street mobs, much the way an accused mugger or rapist might be set upon by "street justice."

DanaC 03-19-2013 05:10 PM

I got this far:

Quote:

"At least 56 separate cases of genital shrinking, disappearance, and snatching
And was too convulsed with laughter to continue reading.

footfootfoot 03-19-2013 05:27 PM

It happened to me and it's not funny. Luckily, I got these pills on the internet...

ZenGum 03-19-2013 06:39 PM

Penis snatching is the first step towards snatch penising.

It may be followed by the clean and jerk.

"What, that? Oh, well, it used to be 8 inches, then this damn witchdoctor came along, you know ..."

Thanks folks, here all week, try the "bush tube-steak".

Lamplighter 03-19-2013 06:41 PM

Little kids get their noses stolen all the time... but usually they get them back.

footfootfoot 03-19-2013 07:36 PM

...nothing up my sleeve...

busterb 03-20-2013 08:43 PM

STONE COUNTY -- The search is continuing today for a Stone County woman facing misdemeanor charges after authorities seized 117 mixed-breed dogs living without water or food at a mobile home she owned on Terry Cuevas Road in the Magnolia community.

Read more here: http://www.sunherald.com/2013/03/19/...move-dogs.html

xoxoxoBruce 03-20-2013 09:21 PM

She bought them a house, but didn't feed them. :eek:

Lamplighter 03-21-2013 10:25 AM

2 Attachment(s)
The Telegraph
Nick Collins, Science Correspondent
21 Mar 2013

New images confirm Big Bang theory
Quote:

New images capturing the "oldest light" in the universe
have confirmed the Big Bang theory but revealed new mysteries
that are not explained by current scientific models.

But it also contains subtle differences which contradict certain elements
of the Standard Model of cosmology, meaning theories will have to be tweaked.
<snip>

Attachment 43316

"The sizes of these tiny ripples hold the key to what happened
in that first trillionth of a trillionth of a second," said Planck scientist
Dr Joanna Dunkley, from Oxford University.
These scientists are still using the wrong choke on their shotgun...

Attachment 43317

footfootfoot 03-30-2013 12:40 PM

Cheeses, Mary, and Joseph! What will they steal next?
 
http://www.sott.net/article/260317-M...rsey-rest-stop

Crimson Ghost 03-30-2013 05:12 PM

21 tons of cheese...
Get some pork roll and we're set...

xoxoxoBruce 03-30-2013 05:41 PM

Big Tony is gonna be really pissed at Balika for losing that load.

Crimson Ghost 03-30-2013 09:46 PM

"But, but Tony, I don't have the money to cover it..."

"Fuck. You. Pay. Me."

Gravdigr 04-02-2013 03:09 PM

You gotta be shitting me...

I guess that the last little while they were out of the news for buggering some little boy, they must've been having a convention for ideas on how to be even more evil and sick than they've been being.

from YahooNews

Suspended Conn. Priest Admits to Meth Charge

Quote:

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — A suspended Roman Catholic priest accused of making more than $300,000 in methamphetamine sales out of his Connecticut apartment while running an adult video and sex toy shop pleaded guilty Tuesday to a federal drug charge.

Kevin Wallin, 61, of Waterbury, admitted to conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute methamphetamine and was scheduled to be sentenced June 25. The prosecution and defense agreed on a sentence of 11 to 14 years in prison.

Prosecutors said the 61-year-old Wallin had meth mailed to him from co-conspirators in California and sold the drugs out of his Waterbury apartment last year. He also bought an adult video and sex toy shop in North Haven named Land of Oz & Dorothy's Place, apparently to launder the drug money, authorities said.

Wearing a beige prison jumpsuit and sporting a goatee and close-cropped hair, Wallin acknowledged in court that the drug operation involved nearly four pounds of methamphetamine. He said "yes" several times as the judge asked whether he understood the consequences of his plea.

Wallin, former pastor at St. Augustine Parish in Bridgeport, appeared to have no supporters in the courtroom. He was led out of the room in handcuffs and remains detained.

Charges against four other people arrested in the case are pending.

"We're glad to have resolved this part of the case," Connecticut U.S. Attorney David B. Fein said outside the courtroom. "It's a serious conspiracy charge involving a very dangerous drug."

Wallin's public defender, Kelly Barrett, declined to comment.

Dubbed in some media as "Monsignor Meth," Wallin was pastor of St. Augustine Parish for nine years until he resigned in June 2011, citing health and personal reasons. He previously served six years as pastor of St. Peter's Church in Danbury until 2002.

"Msgr. Wallin's guilty plea represents an important step in his coming to terms with his own actions and their impact on others," the Diocese of Bridgeport said in a statement. "It is a difficult moment for all of us but we hope it is also the first step in rebuilding his life. We pray that he moves toward healing and wholeness."

The diocese had suspended him from public ministry last May amid concerns by church officials about a number of problems with Wallin, including sexually inappropriate behavior with other men in the church rectory, Wallace said. Church leaders weren't aware of Wallin's involvement with drugs at the time of the suspension, diocese spokesman Brian D. Wallace said.

Wallace said Wallin now faces the prospect of removal from the priesthood by the Vatican, a process called laicization.

Wallin was arrested in January, and a grand jury indicted him and four other people on drug charges.

An undercover officer bought meth from Wallin six times from Sept. 20 to Jan. 2, paying more than $3,400 in total for 23 grams of the drug, authorities said.

Federal agents said they learned through wiretaps and informants about other sales Wallin was making.

On social media, people couldn't help but compare Wallin with Walter White, the main character on the TV show "Breaking Bad," who was making so much cash that he and his wife bought a car wash to launder their profits.

Also charged in the case were Kenneth Devries of Waterbury; Michael Nelson of Manchester; Chad McCluskey of San Clemente, Calif.; and Kristen Laschober of Laguna Niguel, Calif. Authorities say McCluskey and Laschober were involved in the shipping of methamphetamine to Wallin.

All four of those defendants have pleaded not guilty

xoxoxoBruce 04-02-2013 03:19 PM

Hey, we retirees have to make ends meet, and $150 a gram is very reasonable.
Apparently he's queer, but there's nothing wrong with that, as long as he wasn't a pedophile.

Gravdigr 04-03-2013 03:52 PM

Quote:

...including sexually inappropriate behavior with other men in the church rectory...
Rectory hell, it almost killed 'em.

DanaC 04-04-2013 05:43 AM

Hahahahahah. Nicely done Grav.

footfootfoot 04-04-2013 03:44 PM

You have to watch his facial expressions.


BigV 04-08-2013 07:26 PM

*sigh*

I've looked and looked for the post by footfootfoot for that video of the crazy people riding the rope swing through the canyon. It was thrilling/terrifying to watch... anyhow, tragic news. A 22 year old died as a result of miscalculating the rope length during a similar activity. **shivers** Very very sad.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/utah...-rope-18821175

footfootfoot 04-08-2013 08:08 PM

Yeah, I saw that article and decided to skip that particular activity.

BTW I didn't post that, just commented favorably on it.

Lamplighter 04-10-2013 09:45 AM

HUNTER ALERT: Big game is now yours for the taking in Mississippi

US News & World Report
AP
4/10/13
Circus elephant shot in drive-by shot in Miss.
Quote:

TUPELO, Miss. (AP) — Authorities say a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus
elephant was hit by a bullet in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss.

Circus spokeswoman Melinda Hartline says the elephant was not seriously hurt Tuesday.
She says no other animals were harmed.
<snip>

infinite monkey 04-10-2013 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV (Post 859898)
*sigh*

I've looked and looked for the post by footfootfoot for that video of the crazy people riding the rope swing through the canyon. It was thrilling/terrifying to watch... anyhow, tragic news. A 22 year old died as a result of miscalculating the rope length during a similar activity. **shivers** Very very sad.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/utah...-rope-18821175

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 859909)
Yeah, I saw that article and decided to skip that particular activity.

BTW I didn't post that, just commented favorably on it.

The trick is: don't miscalculate the rope length.

I mean, measure 4,545,234 times, and cut once.

I could die in a car accident if I miscalculated the distance to the exit. Operator error shouldn't scare you away. :D

infinite monkey 04-10-2013 12:55 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamplighter (Post 860108)
HUNTER ALERT: Big game is now yours for the taking in Mississippi

US News & World Report
AP
4/10/13
Circus elephant shot in drive-by shot in Miss.

I wish it had been this elephant and he could've shot 'em back right in the face! :mad:

Gravdigr 04-10-2013 01:02 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 43601

Ocean's Edge 04-11-2013 01:29 PM

Beaver Bites Man To Death

http://media.skynews.com/media/image...57-522x293.jpg

glatt 04-11-2013 01:41 PM

I guess since he bled out, they don't have to bother testing for rabies.

xoxoxoBruce 04-11-2013 10:59 PM

Damn, I didn't think they were that fast.

Sundae 04-12-2013 04:14 AM

Snatch and grab.

ZenGum 04-12-2013 08:02 AM

You can't ignaw them.

Ocean's Edge 04-12-2013 02:21 PM

wow ... folks I gots to admire your restraint.

I was expecting at least a half dozen "beaver bites man" jokes, but you've been in exceptionally good taste.

or taste good ... one or the other

Happy Monkey 04-12-2013 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean's Edge (Post 860397)
wow ... folks I gots to admire your restraint.

I was expecting at least a half dozen "beaver bites man" jokes, but you've been in exceptionally good taste.

or taste good ... one or the other

:D

infinite monkey 04-12-2013 03:32 PM

There was a picture around here somewhere about football teams, a newspaper article that said Beavers Halt Trojans.

And I was thinking. Beavers? How scary are Beavers? What, they gnaw on your face then pat it back into place with their slappy paddle tail?

Then again, my friend the RESERVIST medic saw a groundhog or something coming down her sidewalk and she ran to grab her brother yelling BEAVER....THERE'S A BEAVER and locked them both in her car.

I had no ideas Beavers were deadly. Em, er...well, in some cases...sure. ;)

Griff 04-13-2013 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 860148)
I wish it had been this elephant and he could've shot 'em back right in the face! :mad:

Very dark.


elSicomoro 04-13-2013 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 860419)
There was a picture around here somewhere about football teams, a newspaper article that said Beavers Halt Trojans.

And I was thinking. Beavers? How scary are Beavers? What, they gnaw on your face then pat it back into place with their slappy paddle tail?

Then again, my friend the RESERVIST medic saw a groundhog or something coming down her sidewalk and she ran to grab her brother yelling BEAVER....THERE'S A BEAVER and locked them both in her car.

I had no ideas Beavers were deadly. Em, er...well, in some cases...sure. ;)

Speaking of beavers...

sexobon 04-13-2013 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sycamore (Post 860594)
Speaking of beavers...

Yes, they were.

elSicomoro 04-13-2013 12:49 PM

D'oh!

footfootfoot 04-13-2013 03:43 PM

Welcome to Canada! Bienvenue Canada! Have a nice day!


Gravdigr 04-14-2013 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean's Edge (Post 860397)
...I was expecting at least a half dozen "beaver bites man" jokes...

Well, now, see, he got bit to death, not licked.

:eaty:


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