Anal retentive....

Police at Los Angeles airport last week arrested an Iraqi passenger. When Fadhel al-Maliki, 35, set off a metal detector alarm he told staff he knew what the problem might be and revealed a rock, chewing gum and wires up his bottom. He told police that the rock, which was 'from another planet', kept hiim calm while flying.

....and the chewing gum?

the rock was from planet juicy fruit

Holds the wires to the rock.

So would you chew the gum and prepare the device a some time beforehand so the gum has a chance to 'set'? Wouldn't it get all soft again in such a warm moist environment?

Maybe the chewing gum had been on the rock some time - I mean, you know how damn difficult it is to get the stuff of the sole of your shoe, for instance/comparison - and clearly it was deliberately attached to the wires for easy rock retrieval (saves all that straining if you can just yank it out!) - logical really....

Chewing gum is only hard to remove from places you don't want it. If your life depended on it sticking a note to the door..... your dead. :haha:

Stuck at work...

Fire crews rescued a 91-year-old man who accidentally stuck himself to the roof while recoating it with bitumen. 'He was like a beetle on its back, with his arms and legs sprawled out.' said a spokesman for police in Magdeburg, Germany. 'He couldn't free himself.' The man was unhurt, the spokesman added, but had very sticky clothes.

Man smuggles grenade in pot of honey

Border guards in Kazakhstan have arrested a man for trying to smuggle a homemade grenade in a pot of honey, local media say.

The man, a Russian citizen, was travelling by train from the Russian town of Omsk.

"The pot seemed too heavy so it had to be checked," a senior Kazakh border official told the Kazakhstan Today news agency.

The man told police he did not know it was a grenade and that his wife had given it to him as a present for her relatives in Kazakhstan.

Celery-wielding Chelsea fans face ban

A British football club has warned their fans against throwing celery during matches, saying it was a criminal offence and that anyone caught lobbing the popular salad vegetable could be banned.

The unlikely warning follows referee reports mentioning celery-throwing at two recent Chelsea football club matches.

The reports are being investigated by the Football Association (FA), the club says on its website.

The FA's investigation could result in sanctions being taken against the club, who says "the throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record".

"In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban," it said.

"The club also urged fans who spot anyone throwing celery in the stadium to call a telephone number, adding that "all calls will be treated in confidence".

Rather than pay overtime, it's probably cheaper for Chelsea to put them on celery. :blush:

I want to be capable of recoating my roof when I'm 91!
Wait a minute, I'm not sure I'm capable of it now :(

Just have to ressurect the thread for this story in today's Sunday Times - I'll label it 'Trivial Pursuit' , I think...

Two police officers commandeered a bicycle rickshaw to race to an emergency call. PC's Anne-Marie Rosier and Sue Beament yelled 'nee-naw, nee-naw' to clear the way as rider Ben Matthews - ringing his bell - pedalled furiously through Hereford to the scene, where an offender was resisting arrest. ' We knew it would take too long to run.' PC Rosier explained.

and this other one as well - 'Fruit of Allah?'

A family say they feel blessed after Allah appeared to them in a tomato. Uzma Khalid, 19, was preparing salad when she saw apparent Arabic script on a tomato segment. ' I thought that's a bit weird, so I showed it to my mum. She said it definitely says Allah. We believe it is a way of Allah showing he exists. It is a miracle in the sense of how it has been put in the tomato.'

That made me LOL!

God seems to have an odd affinity for appearing in food, doesn't he? (remembers cheese sandwich)

Mrs CF reckons they misread it and the word was ' 'Allo', not 'Allah'!