I don't know if it's the day, or my mood, or just burn-out from all the craziness of the past month and a half. But I hate my job. I'm not allowed to say that because I'm lucky to have a job. And I should be forging ahead and trying to get promoted or I'm worthless.

But some days I hate it. To the point where all I want to do is cry. But, that can't happen either.

minkey.... of course you're allowed to say that. denying it is unrealistic, if not an outright lie at times. you show (from what little I can see here) proper judgment about where and to whom you say it... go ahead. I'm jealous, yeah, from a cash flow perspective, but I've filled out my share of FAFSAs. NO. THANKS. I'm glad you have your job, and not me. *shivers*

As for forging ahead, blah blah blah... life work balance. Your life, your balance, and the bird to those who judge you, yourself excluded. Though I doubt (and hope you don't) judge yourself worthless. I don't.

Cry? Why the hell not? Well, you probably have your reasons. Cryin's ok though.

Thanks V, that was very kind.

You are not alone, i.m. I loathe my job, too. I hate the long hours when I do work and the long intervals in between when they have no work for me. I hate getting only minimum wage and never ever overtime, no matter what. I can work a 54 hour week; I can work Christmas day - it doesn't matter. The cheapskate owner pays minimum wage all the same. And when he's not off on some junket, he comes in and micro-manages to the point where I want to hit him with something.

But I'm lucky to have any work at all, given the unemployment around here, and my age and situation. I take out my frustrations by giving people the lowest rates I can. No one EVER pays the standard price when I'm at the desk. Take THAT, Mr. Skinflint Boss! :mad:

Oh, and get this. I will not be receiving a check tomorrow for the full 54 hours I worked. The owner doesn't pay for more than 40 hours a week. So I have to wait until the next check to be paid for my remaining 14 hours. GRRRRRR! Is that even legal?

No, I'm pretty sure not.

No it isn't. I'm 99% sure you are due 14 hours overtime (paid at 1 & 1/2x your normal rate) which would really come out to 21 hours at your regular rate.
There are federal laws about this and many states also have laws, some pretty recent. Contact someone in your state to find out more.
I googled "When do employers have to pay overtime?" and got plenty of good hits.

Trouble is that if I rock the boat, they'll find some excuse to let me go, and then I'll be making $0.00/hr. And we're all in the same boat. The other desk clerk was convinced that there's a law no one could get a raise for two years! I told her no, it was just the owner being an ass. The manager, Carmen, gets a pitiful compensation for all she does - which is considerable. There would be no Bates Motel without her. Carmen stays because she's 63 and afraid she couldn't find other work in the current economic climate. What use are labor laws when workers are afraid to ask that they be enforced?

Welcome to capitalism.

Yeah, society as envisioned by Merc. :eek:

Call your local Gov't regulator. If not, then why have them.

Just an update on the Grandad situation.

Mum went to see him twice yesterday, she thinks these are his final days.
Both times he was curled up in a fetal position, not talking any sense (again, he thought Mum was Nan) and wouldn't accept anything other than a couple of sips of sweet tea.

But then we have been here before. And Mum does tend to assume any time his condition worsens he is about to die. And he has often rallied round.

I know she wants him to die and feels horribly guilty about it. She wants him to die as a mercy of course, not because it will be easier for her. Once he dies she is head of her branch of the family and will feel very lonely.

She's already started drafting letters to the family - she was going through old photos and there is a pile of envelopes addressed right next to me, on the printer.

She's asking my advice about where it is best to hold the service, and worrying that with the new order of service in the Catholic church she will looks like someone who has never been to a Catholic funeral before, and will look like an idiot.

She's also being a right mardy bitch, snapping at Dad and at me and being generally unpleasant. I take a deep breath and remember she thinks she is about to lose her father. And given the state of his decline, she already has of course. This is not about me.

I'll step up to the mark like I did at Nanny's funeral. I think that impressed Mum more than anything I have ever done. With all of my other failings and disappointments, she knows at least she can rely on me to perform as a dutiful daughter. I will display the stiff upper lip that she deems proper, and make funeral sandwiches and circulate with drinks and shake people's hands to thank them for coming and listen with interest to tales from long ago and do a reading in a mellifluous voice.

Sometimes, being disassociated is deemed a more proper response.

Hang in there honey. You're doing her proud.

What Dana said, SG. And yes, you're right, "Sometimes, being disassociated is deemed a more proper response" but do allow yourself to grieve, too. Hugs to you and your mum (even if she doesn't want it!!).

I'm sorry Sundae. You can handle this but, I'll repeat limey, you still need to grieve.