Thank you all.
It's tougher than I thought it would be.
Now he's no longer the shell he became in the last week I am free to remember him as he was and that means mourning him.

But he had a long life and in the end a gentle death.
He wouldn't really have planned on 17 years without my Nan, she really was the love of his life. But he was in his own place until February this year. He had as much fried chicken as he wanted up til then. And he was in a stable environment when he died, with staff constantly in attendance in the last hours until they realised the end was coming and called us.

It's not like he was in that awful hospital where he could easily have been dead for hours without anyone noticing.

The staff came in to say goodbye as I was leaving (I came home to start making phone calls) and they were in tears. It was a good place to die, with kind and respectful people. Grandad used to joke that he couldn't understand a word any of them said (the basic carers are mostly Eastern European or Filipino) but he would always smile and nod and joke and they were charmed by his passive smile and gentle demeanor.

They really cared. Even as I was leaving they were bringing in tea for Mum and me. And the Nurse on shift had elected to stay until the Doctor came to sign the death certificate, despite her shift finishing 30 minutes beforehand.

We couldn't have asked for better.

It is really nice to hear that the staff treated you so nicely and were so kind during such a difficult time in your lives. Stark contrast to some things I've heard/read here.
My heart is heavy as I read about this. It reminds me of my grandfathers last days.
(Hugs)

Found out in another thread.

Sundae, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

As Classic said, it reminds me of when my own grandfather passed.

:blackr:

Thanks Grav - I've now put it in my sig, because I mentioned him across a lot of threads when he was alive, and I know not everyone reads this one.

I'll take it off in a day or so.

Sorry for your loss SG ,
But at least its over ,
I remember waiting for my Mom to pass over , it SUCKED !!!

Sundae, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There's no truly nice way to lose someone, but it sounds like your Grandpa went as peacefully as one can, and you and your family had the opportunity to say goodbye.

Again, thanks to everyone.

My first day in my Sunday job today.
I was awake early even by normal standards, and the clocks went back today.
The 'rents got up at 07.30 (GMT) but I already had some thinking time.

So odd. Like something is over and leaves such a large gap.
But there is still so much to plan and organise. Which is usually only for good things.

Mum went to all the neighbours yesterday (I offered to go or to accompany).
"The Asians" across the close came to visit when Mum was at Mass, with flowers and a card.
We know their names now.

And Mum told Tiger's Grandmother (his father's mother, who used to live next door to my sister - small world).

He was so much a part of my (our) routine.
I feel bloody awful that I am starting a new job today, facing people, smiling, learning, being positive. And he is in a drawer somewhere waiting for his doctor to sign him off.

Not him of course. In my belief, he is simply a corpse. In my Mum's he is with his deceased family.
But it seems to hurt either way.

Funeral next week (ie not this monday to Friday)
I already had dresses earmarked on eBay.
Grandad loved my haircolours in the last few years.
he said I was easy to spot.
As a younger man they would have appalled him - he was so conservative.

Sorry - simply posting what is in my head.

Thanks everyone again.

All my love to you Sundae. Sorry I'm so late in arriving here, but my heart is with you now. xxx

Oh, Cherry. I am so sorry. Try to take comfort in knowing how much he was loved and cared for by you and your family. He was a special man loved by very special, wonderful people. It doesn't get much better than that.

Hugs, girl. Hugs.

This struck me as particularly poignant, not just about your Granddad but of growing old in general. It's a beautiful picture of happy mellowing.

So sorry to be late on this bit of news. Sundae, I hope you remember your Grandad in the best way. He will always be with you. Peace

sorry for your loss sundae.

unfortunately i found out early this afternoon that a friend passed away. she was 43. when i moved in with my roommate over 2 years ago that's how i met her. they were dating back then but since had become just friends. she used to drive me nuts sometimes but i loved her for who she was. she was your average happy-go-lucky person that cared for everyone, even strangers and never had any ill will towards anyone or anything for that matter. yesterday according to her mother she drank an entire bottle of vodka without eating anything. so, yes, alcohol was a factor. i'm thinking she knocked her blood sugars way out of whack and went into some sort of hypoglycemic shock. her mother said that she had gotten up around 5 am this morning to use the restroom and had fallen twice trying to get back to the bed. that was the last time she was seen alive. her mom went in to check on her late this morning and found her laying there in bed. only a shell. spirit and soul gone. gonna miss you Michelle.

Damn ... Sorry dude. no words..

Mum went to thank "the Asians" today.
Had a cup of tea, and we were all invited over for dinner whenever we wanted to come.
Mum won't. Dad wouldn't be able to understand a word (hearing related). I would!

But apart from our next door neighbours (of nearly 40 years), they are the only family in the close to respond to the news. Of course everyone has been supportive - Mum talks to everyone and they all knew about Grandad even if they didn't know him.

But I'd like to think the 'rents will remember this when their paper fulminates about ALL Muslims wanting Sharia law in the country etc blah etc.
Although the older Dads gets the more I think he would actually appreciate living in a fundamentalist regime. As long as he had freedom of worship he wouldn't even worry which one. As long as people were killed or mutilated for their crimes...

Sorry, off topic.

Today was horrid.
I expected it to be.
Newbie, ignorant, under-trained (as everyone is) AND feeling sorrow.
But it's a job and I am being paid for it.
And Grandad always spoke up for me for that.
When Mum was moaning about me, he always said something along the lines of "Well, she's pulled her weight before" or "She's a hard worker, give her time" or somesuch. And she passed it on to me.




Filthy, that's awful.
It scares me.
It could be me or Bri.
I didn't know you, Michelle, but I know how it happened.

keep up hard work hun. it's rewarding as you know. you'll get to know the ropes and like everyone else do the job. when i started working at my day job, jeeez! the things i didn't know! from a hands on perspective? i thought for sure i'd get fired for breaking a few things accidentally. i saw what i work with and designed what i work with for YEARS but never had to hands on experience with them. now i help train new hires and watch over their shoulders and give them pointers to help them along. i'm the #3 guy to go to now for questions and how to's. some get it, some don't as with any job.

ty about Michelle. it could be anyone. even me. just damn. 43? damn it. not that it's ok if they're 83. sad either way.