The Cellar - Things you absolutly DON'T want for Christmas

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- - Things you absolutly DON'T want for Christmas (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=12578)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Does anyone ever get the giant themed tins of, multi-horrid-flavored, popcorn?:vomit:

Hey, I like those. At some point you have to remove the dividers and the artificial butter, artificial cheese, and artificial carmel kernels all mix together. They taste pretty good. They're a little like large breast implants. You might know they're artificial, but you don't really care.:cool:

I like them too, although the cheese is my least favorite flavor.

Someone at work pointed at her fruitcake. It was homemade. She was standing right next to me.......I was obligated to take a piece and bite into it. She then began her explanation about how it was different than she usually makes it. There is nothing worse in my world than a green cherry. I have nothing more to say than.....it was worse than I had ever imagined. Please, be a friend....do not make people obligated to eat your fruitcake right in front of you. This is gross and in very poor taste. And I should know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Does anyone ever get the giant themed tins of, multi-horrid-flavored, popcorn?:vomit:

I love those.

Okay, so the cheese flavor isn't that great, but when you run out of the caramel and the buttery-flavor, well, you have to finish that off ...

Now, Moose Munch I love. That is some seriously good shit.

No more cheese logs, no more summer sausage!

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

Do they still have Hickory Farms stores? That's so 1982. I remember those gift boxes with the different flavors of processed "cheese" wedges wrapped in foil.

That's not cheese... oh man!

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

Misread the above as "good, high fartin' eatin' " :blush: .

Something is wrong with me... every time I see a cheese long I think "that would hurt".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

"Its the latest thing, you see," she said. "If you're having people over, and you don't want to just put a plain old bag of chips on the table, you just open the bag of chips, pour them into this cloth bag, and serve them. Save the chip bag, and you can pour any leftover chips back in. Then, all you have to do is throw the cloth bag in the wash!"

So, it's like a chip cozy. Strange! I too eat out of the bag. If I have guests I put them into a bowl. Love the chip cozy, though. :p

I personally love the beef stick, as well the various cheese logs. By the way, I got all my relatives Hickory Farms gift folios this year--they can choose from the mega-gift box of the above, or from slightly more upscale food items if they wish. I guess you can all be glad you're not related to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

There was a girl in college with the last name "Hunger." At Christmas one year the frat boys got her boyfriend a big old beef stick to (wait for it) "satisfy your Hunger."

Yaaaayyyyy.... I got visual!

I absolutely do not want anything that poops presents

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061220/...ping_peasant_1

Wolf, of course, will want to show us her moose that poops M&M's, though. Bet you didn't know it had roots in tradition, didja, Wolf? ;)

Quote:

BARCELONA, Spain - The Virgin Mary. The three kings. A few wayward sheep. These are the figures one expects to find in a traditional Christmas nativity scene. Not a smartly dressed peasant squatting behind a rock with his rear-end exposed.

Yet statuettes of "El Caganer," or the great defecator in the Catalan language, can be found in nativity scenes, and increasingly on the mantelpieces of collectors, throughout Spain's northeastern Catalonia region, where for centuries symbols of defecation have played an important role in Christmas festivities.

During the holiday season, pastry shops around Catalonia sell sweets shaped like feces, and on Christmas Eve Catalan children beat a hollow log, called the tio, packed with holiday gifts, singing a song that urges it to defecate presents out the other end.

These traditions, in the case of the caganer dating back as far as the 17th century, come from an agricultural society where defecation was associated with fertility and health.

While the traditional caganer is a red-capped peasant, more modern renditions have gained popularity in recent years.