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-   -   need really really bad advice (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=5044)

Michael Roth 02-19-2004 02:47 AM

Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™.

Slartibartfast 02-19-2004 08:21 PM

Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables.

Bask in the glory of the information age.


Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

Troubleshooter 02-19-2004 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Slartibartfast
Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables.

Bask in the glory of the information age.


Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

Your thinking is small weedhopper. In the pursuit of true electronic damage a Super-Soaker 2000 filled with solution of super-saturated saltwater is the ultimate implement of destruction.

Slartibartfast 02-19-2004 09:01 PM

I like the fact that minimal physical damage is done with the hedge trimmer, yet the time it would take to reconnect everything is monumental.

SteveDallas 02-20-2004 09:01 AM

Especially if all those connections are undocumented... but no. That would never happen. Everybody has complete & up-to-date documentation on where the data & voice wiring goes. :cool:

Troubleshooter 02-20-2004 09:57 AM

Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.

Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell?

xoxoxoBruce 02-20-2004 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Michael Roth
Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™.
Mike, DoDad is TM, Doodad is a legitimate word that spellchecker will accept.:D

Slartibartfast 02-20-2004 10:52 AM

Originally posted by Troubleshooter
Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.


Just a preference. It's the difference between taking somebody's completed 8000 piece jigsaw puzzle and scattering the pieces all over the floor, compared to pouring kerosine over the whole thing and lighting it.


Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell? [/quote]

I read the first few. The technology is a little dated by now, but its meanness withstands the test of time. Great stuff.

>clickety clickety click<...

Vilia Sonoben 02-20-2004 10:57 AM

Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities.

And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it.

Or right after you get any sort of dentist work done, go stock up on gummie worms. Torture at its best.

novice 02-20-2004 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vilia Sonoben
Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities.

And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it.


Isn't this the plot line from a Law and Order-SVU episode? ;)

Happy Monkey 02-20-2004 10:25 PM

BOFH is still regularly updated on The Register. Just look for a headline with "BOFH". I don't think it's as good as it used to be, but it can be fun.

xoxoxoBruce 02-20-2004 10:37 PM

I noticed the BOFH that's up now points to 4 years of archives at the bottom of the page.

Vilia Sonoben 02-21-2004 01:57 PM

Quote:

Isn't this the plot line from a Law and Order-SVU episode?
Hmm. How did you *ever* guess?

Unfortunately, the severed finger does not have to be raped/sodomized/touched wrongly from your hand. However, if you prefer the SVU version of events, by all means go for it.

lookout123 07-29-2005 05:51 PM

let's revive this one - it looked like fun.

here's my suggestion for someone outthere - Urge your SO to enter an amateur night competition at a local strip club - then vote for one of the other contestants.

Trilby 07-29-2005 07:59 PM

Stop showering. Wear the same clothes every day and night (sleep in them) for months and step in all the dog-doo you can find. Mutter to yourself and have occasional violent outbursts. Stare really long and hard at people.


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