Duck!

Attachment 49865

:eyebrow:

There are people right now sitting in prisons and even on death row who have been convicted on the flimsiest, sometimes entirely spurious evidence - but his confession and being in possession of the drugs is not enough evidence to proceed...

That's why you should be a cop.

Another angle on the shortcomings of the criminal justice system...

Six years on from the banking meltdown, hardly anyone has had his/her collar felt, although there doesn't seem to be any shortage of evidence.

I suppose that if enough people are to blame, no-one is responsible.

Eggs?

Whut? The kid likes eggs.:eyebrow:

Kid probably heard him say he was a farmer and thought farmers have chickens and eggs. And he was hungry and surely a farmer could spare some eggs. "Give a hungry boy some food, would you, Sir? A couple eggs? Surely you could spare some eggs."

Or was the kid delusional from dehydration/starvation and saw the farmer as a big chicken? I once saw something like that in a movie. :D

Sounds like something from Gilligan's Island

Was there a Gilligan's Island movie?

~Young Guns

They were rescued. Went back to the island to create a luxury resort. Then hired some little guy to scream, "Da Plane! Da Plane!"

It's called a sequel.

:lol:

Not a scape goat, but an escape goat:

Attachment 49897

If the goat commits suicide, is it still a sacrifice?

Does the boy become the sacrifice?

It's a reversal of the story of Abraham. God told Abraham, kill me a son. Old Abe was gonna do it, too. Til God said, nah, you was gonna do it, that's good enough, here kill me a lamb instead.

The story tells of a man buying a goat for a sacrifice, the goat taking his own way out, and taking out the guy's kid in the bargain.

Looks to me it happened thusly: The guy says for Eid Al-Adha, Ima kill you a goat. The Lord said no more sacrifices. The guy says Ima sacrifice a goat. The Lord said Well, if you're gonna do it, Ima take your son, too.

That looks like a sign to me.

Another weird/tragic/surprising death.

A teenager dies from one punch to the face. (Note, autoplaying video in story at link)

A kid in my high school accidentally died from a single hard punch to the chest. Got him right in the heart, and it just stopped, like reverse EKG paddles. He and the kid who did it weren't even fighting, they were just being macho.

Man Wants Refund After Buying $650 in Tickets to ‘The Interview’

... A man in Ohio tried to cash in on the buzz surrounding Seth Rogen and James Franco’s new comedy when he purchased $650 in tickets or 50 passes at $13 each to the movie.

According to WCPO in Cincinatti, Jason Best learned that a local theater in Clifton was among the 300 theaters to play the controversial film on Christmas day and hoped to re-sell the tickets online at a higher price (a.k.a. he wanted to scalp them). ...

... But the plan backfired once Sony announced it was streaming the film online for half the price on sites like YouTube, Hulu and Netflix.

Now the man is demanding a refund from the Esquire Theatre.

“I thought I’d get my money back because the theater’s website *very clearly* said the tickets were refundable,” Best told WCPO in an email.

But a theater manager told Best that the art house didn’t have a website and that “The Interview” was listed as a special event.

It turns out Best had purchased the tickets from movie tickets.com which specifically warns on its website that theater owners reserve the right to withhold refunds for special events.

Plus the manager said that scalping tickets was illegal. ...

Hasbro Is Offering To Exchange Play-Doh Toy That Looks Like A Penis

Attachment 50005


LINK

Beat ya.

I win.

At least it has the loss-prevention flaps.

I wonder if all the decorative nubs and swirls were originally an attempt at making it look less like a syringe?

I think the swirls are functional and the nubs are reinforcement at stress points, and too many people have dirty minds.

Mine doesn't have loss-prevention flaps.

Better book early at the ER, they get busy this time of year.

Mine has toss prevention faps

Some of mine have loss prevention flanges, and some have handy retrieval rings.

I only have the one.

I was born with mine ... jus sayin.

I've been saying this for years. Literally.

Just Hit The Damn Deer

Yes, safer than leaving the road by a long shot. :yesnod:

KIRBY DELAUTER KIRBY DELAUTER KIRBY DELAUTER
 

Hey, didja hear about Kirby Delauter? Kirby Delauter is a councilman in Frederick County, Maryland. Kirby Delauter's name was in the paper. Kirby Delauter didn't want Kirby Delauter's name in the paper. Kirby Delauter told them Kirby Delauter didn't want "Kirby Delauter" to be printed without Kirby Delauter's permission. If the paper did print "Kirby Delauter" without Kirby Delauter's permission, Kirby Delauter threatened to sue.

The headline about the Kirby Delauter story read:

"Kirby Delauter Kirby Delauter Kirby Delauter"

Did I mention Kirby Delauter's name?

It's Kirby Delauter.

Kirby Delauter? Is that the Kirby Delauter, R-District 5, on the County Council, of Frederick County Maryland? Of course, nobody should write about Kirby Delauter or use Kirby Delauter's name without his permission, just because he's a publicly elected politician. He's probably embarrassed his mama named him after a vacuum cleaner. :yesnod:

It's probably the same Kirby Delauter who visits Dental Excellence of Blue Bell, Pennsylvania.

From the 'comments' below the story:

Attachment 50051

Kirby Delauter sounds like a dumbass, first-class. :facepalm:

Here's some more news that illustrates the comic potential of speaking out before thinking through.

Don't Jerk and Drive.

St. Elmo family creates giant icicle in yard.
Attachment 50107

lol...I thought the figure was the Virgin Mary and they were recreating the "Mary in a Bathtub" phenom.

5-year-old invoiced for no-show at a birthday party

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-30876360

Wow, mom's wrapped a little too tight.

Ok... Who here has EVER rubbed one out whilst operating a motor vehicle?

Furthermore, who has had oral to fruition, whilst driving?

If you can answer 'me!' to both, then you are a total freak, and have my respeck.

Me for both, I am a total freak.

Snake bites customer on head in Lowe's
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...owes/22013801/

Too often to count on both counts. I thought that was normal.

3000 fish caught in naturally occurring pond inside shopping mall in Bangkok.

There was a 4 story mall in Bangkok. The owners added 7 more stories to it without the proper paperwork. The city forced them to tear down the 7 extra stories. This left no roof on the mall. The rain came. The mall filled up with water. The neighbors complained about all the mosquitoes breeding in the mall pond. The mall owners shrugged. The neighbors released some fish in the mall pond to eat the mosquitoes. The fish bred. So the city just caught the 3000 fish, and will drain the pond. But the mall owners must fix the mall themselves. The city won't do that.

There. Now you don't need to read the article.

I'm with fargon & foot.

"respeck", I haz it.

From the Daily Record and Sunday Mail.
:rolleyes:

that shit hurts my brain. what is there about a venue that "is not designed to accommodate breastfeeding"??

never mind the farcical hypocrisy ... good lord.

Point at a chair, and say "yes it is".

As someone sitting in a PUB (no, not drinking alcohol) which resembles a nursery at this time of day, I can attest that mothers feeding the noisy little poop machines is the least of the venue's worries. It stops their gobs up for a start - pre-speech the things are unpleasantly and constantly squally and screechy.

The two worst offenders have just left, and I'm shaking my head like a dog coming out of a lake, trying to get my hearing back. Take babies to an event based on listening? No. Not until they create a device to project subtitles on real live speech.

yer funny.

But I think you're looking at this particular event all wrong. I reckon all the attendees would be familiar with the sounds babies make, and it's likely that most or all of the attendees would be "fans" of babies, if you will. It's not likely, in my estimation, that the listening required at such an event would be significantly interrupted by squalling, crying babies. As you yourself pointed out, there are stoppers for gobs, at a ratio of two-to-one at least. (excepting multiple births, mothers who still breastfeed their six-year-old daughters , etc. wet nurses count on the other side of the ledger.)

Attachment 50179

Nouvelle Cuisine.

:D

OMG Carr.
I had to put my head back and guffaw at that.
It was perfect, from the subject matter to the quote.

I now you're right, Bruce.
I've just been sharing my health woes with Carruthers via PM. I was very grumpy that day.
Let's just say that orifices other than baby's mouths can feel like they're stoppered up.

Thank goodness for healthy young breeders who supply us with the helicopter pilots of the future.

Why couldn't they simply say egg plant?

Aubergine I can remember because I think of it as a color, and that circles me back to eggplant. But courgette? I cannot keep the line between that and zucchini, it just won't stick.

WTF is arugula?

Sent by thought transference