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-   -   What's upsetting you today? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14114)

glatt 04-23-2012 01:49 PM

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You're absolutely good enough.

monster 04-23-2012 02:48 PM

So sorry, Jaydaan.

infinite monkey 04-23-2012 03:26 PM

Jaydaan, so sorry. All the boxers I've met have been so sweet. I feel that particular pain and though it does get better it hurts terribly. My thoughts are with you.

Griff 04-23-2012 04:45 PM

Bummer J.

BigV 04-23-2012 05:19 PM

Jaydaan, I'm very sorry to hear your sad news, so sorry.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydaan (Post 808059)
...
The greif comes and goes in waves. We are all trying to be strong for each other, but its painful. Being a responsible caring, loving animal owner is very rewarding and sometimes it just plain sucks!

Freya had her name when we got her, and being names after the Goddess of love and beauty was perfect. She was such a sweet dog and will be very much missed.

You'll have this always, the waves, the missing, but also her place in your family, always. But the waves will become smaller and less frequent while your memory of Freya will stay strong. I hope you and your family regain your strength as soon as you need to.

:comfort:

Pico and ME 04-23-2012 05:41 PM

It's been 9 years since I lost Bo. Although there isn't any pain anymore, I still remember the shock of going through it. It's really tough to lose a beloved pet. I'm sorry for your loss Jaydaan... :(

zippyt 04-23-2012 05:50 PM

Sorry for the loss Jay !

Clodfobble 04-23-2012 06:10 PM

Anon, it is worth it. You already know the solution,

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymous
Why can't I accept myself the way I am?

it's just hard to put solutions into practice. It's hard for everyone to do it. I swear to you, like 95% of the world is playing "fake it 'til you make it."

Everyone here accepts you the way you are.

Nirvana 04-23-2012 06:49 PM

I'm sorry Jaydaan :( :comfort:

BigV 04-23-2012 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 808178)
Anon, it is worth it. You already know the solution,



it's just hard to put solutions into practice. It's hard for everyone to do it. I swear to you, like 95% of the world is playing "fake it 'til you make it."

Everyone here accepts you the way you are.

Anonymous, Clodfobble's right. It's not an easy solution, but it is an effective one. Happily (or helpfully, to me anyhow), I only have to do what you yourself have already suggested, and suggested to others one time. Just accept yourself, just once. Then you're good to go. Really. Until the next time you have such doubts again, of course. But look, you already got through last time, just do it again, build on your success. Just accept yourself. At least accept that this is the way we all work. That's real too.

If you're dissatisfied about something specific and finite, work out a plan to change it. Being unhappy with "the way you are" might be true, but it's unfixable, not to mention unfair and probably untrue when unpacked. Would you say that to someone else? "I just don't like the way you are." with no details, no specifics? Just a general and all encompassing disdain? No. You deserve the same respect that other person gets from you, show yourself some of that respect. It helps to give yourself some slack too.

limey 04-24-2012 03:33 AM

Jaydaan - I am so sorry. It hurts so much to lose such a well-loved family member, too soon!
Anonymous - BigV and Clod are right. We're all faking it at one point or another. Also, what BigV says about such a sweeping statement - you wouldn't be that unkind to anyone else, why are you being so harsh on yourself?

anonymous 04-24-2012 10:30 AM

In my head it isn't general. It's about most everything I say and do. Was that right. Should I have done this? Why can't I do that instead? I guess that is general too. I can feel good from time to time but something I do, or experience, reminds me I'm barely a living being.I think about giving up sometimes but as easy as it is to hurt myself I could never hurt those around me. Id rather take all the pain from them, not cause it. Again, I feel like a burden. Then ther is guilt for that, too.

Meanwhile the world doesn't really understand it, and I am an oddity who should just get my shit together. Except here, where you have read my words and seem to understand. Thank you for this outlet. Thank you for caring.

BigV 04-24-2012 11:17 AM

You're welcome.

We're not exceptional, this outlet, these people who care. There are people everywhere who care, even around you. Honest, look at yourself. You're a caring person right where you are. You've seen some care from us because you spoke up. You care for people around you when you hear of something that needs to be taken care of. I would respectfully and gently suggest that there are others around you that can care for you too, if only they knew of your need.

You have to ask for what you need, ask for what you want. Let it flow both directions. Help, concern, support, it's out there. You're living proof.

BigV 04-27-2012 04:11 PM

JFC.

I'm babysitting Tucker Mojo, BD's BD (beloved dog). He's a darling lovable animal, but omg, I don't know what she's feeding him but he turns it to gas. :retch: vile, silent, frequent, poisonous gas. Jebus Tucker! just... ask me I'll take you outside for pity's sake.

ZenGum 04-27-2012 06:52 PM

Funnel. Hose. Bottle. Burn. Energy. OPEC be damned!


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