Call the police the next time. (Cannot believe I'm saying this)
Tell them he scared you and you feel threatened. If nothing else it puts his shit behavior on record and is more ammo for your side in the divorce.

jus sayin'

Thank you. Sorry to keep bringing up his assholistic behavior ... it's the combination of aggressive asshole abuser and cringeing victimized drama-king that drives me to drink. I suppose ... the more this happens, the easier I will find it to locate the most aggressive pit-bull lawyer I can find to defend what's left of my ability to carry on my life. Falling into the pit has its romantic attractions, but only at 2 am after one too many single malts. Rising above the pit and seeking equilibrium is a better alternative.

Oh, and what Infi said.

OMG, no way. It couldn't be.

Could it?

I need to stop seeing connections where none exist.

Shit. Too much. Leaving now. Check in later - thanks everyone, thanks.

Known him 34 years. you'd think I'd know better. But jerks dont' always declare themselves right away. This one took 10 years.

There's a time for drinking, to be sure. When you're together does NOT seem like a good one though.

I'm with classicman, at least as far as reading with dumbstruck miscomprehension that he actually suggested that course. It will be effective, but it leaves a smoking crater of no return.

Wasn't drinking tonight actually, just a general sort of reference ... but I left. Couldn't take the harassment, the sleep deprivation. Guess that smoking crater is there now ... all I want is some sleep

Ortho - please find the details of a refuge. Now. If you don't use it, fine, but if you do, won't you b glad the details are in your purse, phone or brain already? Please.

Let me in on it because wtf? ;)

Thanks - I did leave last night and took refuge with friends whose location stb-x doesn't know. I can't stay there forever but have found out about the local women's shelter ... although they publish their address on their web page!! :eek: Years ago when we lived in a bigger town/city and I had to go to the shelter there, its location was absolutely secret. This one's openness doesn't fill me with confidence, although honestly I don't see stb-x appearing there demanding to see me. He'd be too embarrassed; this is a very small town, he'd be recognized.

But I do have the address and will use it if/when necessary.

I'm glad to hear you've thought this out, Ortho. Good luck!

Got some great information from an attorney a couple of days ago. Turns out I'm entitled to much more than I ever thought - enough to make it possible to keep the kids in college, if stb-x reneges on his financial support of them. I sat in the car and cried after leaving the attorney's office. Couldn't believe I have a way to protect my kids, and shouldn't have to exist on eggs (one daily, which is what I ate in first year university when I had no money) for two years while I get my training.

I'm stoked. The thought of being able to protect the kids, of NOT being held hostage to ensure they get what they need, is infinitely empowering. I don't intend to set everything in motion until I am physically out of the house, which is in six days. His threats, from years past, of the many ways he can kill me (with his anesthetic drugs and medical knowledge) still disrupt my sleep (although honestly, he'd probably just buy a gun and use it), so I'll keep the peace for six more days. But June 23 is my freedom date. :)

be the fuck careful. recently here in houston some jackass took out his wife, errrr soon to be ex-wife then himself with his kids in the next room. be careful and don't let your guard down.

Whs.

Good going Ortho. You're handling this brilliantly.

Be careful though. Leaving, organising custody, divorce etc, all potential flashpoints for violence.