She was the cutest kid. My aunt and uncle adopted her and her sister when they were very young. I keep picturing playing with them on the swingset in their backyard. She grew up witht he same smile on her face all the time...cutest giggle, a real personable girl.

Thanks for letting me get this out.

One of the guys I work with was getting ready to retire, until his 33 year old daughter suddenly left him with two kids 8 and 12. It took me a while to convince him that along with his grief, it was OK to be angry with her for such a selfish act.
He'll eventually cope, but I worry about the kids.

have you heard how her sister is taking it?

Anger has to come into play. It's one of the stages.

We all grieve differently, but the basic pattern is the same.

I'm angry at this world, for being so hurtful. It makes me wonder if there really is some kind of grand plan, some reason for faith. It answers no questions but resurfaces a lot of old ones.

No...all I know right now is what my mom knows and told me on the phone. Nothing.

Her brother is in Korea with his wife and children. Aunt and Uncle just visited there recently.

God, Shawnee, how awful. Praying ain't my thing, but I'm thinking of you and your family.

Thank you Dana.

WTF? thats horrible - Since I know most of you don't pray, I will. I'm very sorry for your family's loss.

Thank you classic. That means a lot to me.

There still isn't any real info. She left two kids, about 1 and 4 years old behind.

It was nice to be with my family today: if my little nieces can't cheer someone up no one can.

I was wrong about the age. She was only 28.

Just read this Shawnee (came here to moan but won't now)
Really sorry to hear about it.
You have a strong family and you will all support eachother.

Try to leave puzzling out the universe til later in the year. The way you're feeling right now you'll just think it's a shitty place, and that won't help you deal with this any better.

My thoughts are with you x

I'm sorry too Shawnee. I hope that things become clearer for all of you very soon.

My thoughts are with you also.

Thanks hons.

Please don't let me stop any moaning. I"ve moaned so much here over the years I would expect moaning...you don't moan anyway, silly girl.

Thanks so much for the support.

.:grouphug:

Peace and best wishes, Shawnee.

I really love you guys. Thanks.

There's nothin to really say that hasn't already been said.
I'll keep positiveness and good vibes your way. I hope ya'll get the answers you need, and are able to begin to heal.

Thanks, Miss Moar. You're sweet.

Yeah...not much was said about it today with my family, more time spent on what "is" as far as enjoying my nieces. Mostly I'm worried about my aunt/uncle's family. Then I think about her and I am in such dire straits...asking why, it's all so very surreal right now. It's just a damn freaking shame.

Thanks for your kind words. I have never had to ask the hard questions before: all my personal losses have been the elderly among us. This doesn't make sense.

So sorry for your loss, Shawnee. My thoughts are with you and your family :grouphug: .

Keep your chin up there Shawnee.

Shawnee, I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts and concern. Means a lot to me.

Are the kids with their Grandparents?

I don't know what's going on. They lived in FL, mom knows nothing, no one will talk to me...I'm completely lost. Is the husband a suspect? I don't know. Are the kids with him? I don't know. Does he have family? I don't know. Are my aunt and uncle OK? I don't know.

I don't know anything.

Ask Shawnee - and if you get some answers please share. There are others looking for those same answers.

My family wouldn't talk about it yesterday. I emailed mom to day and she replied with a "know nothing will let you know" just like that. No, let's not freaking talk about it.

I am completely alone here. I have no one to ask.

I'm sorry I think I am losing it.

Losing "it" is normal when things are this upside down.

That's horrible, Shawnee. We're here for you. :grouphug:

I don't know if it's upsetting, or not, but we are eligable to apply for citizenship this year (August, but you can apply several months in advance), but I have just confirmed that it will cost $675 each (total $2,700 + any legal/mailing costs), so I guess we don't really need to make a decision about if we're ready/want to....

I can get you U.S. citizenship wholesale. Why pay more?

Dazza purchased a gift certificate for me to have a massage and facial for our last anniversary which I was planning to use this morning and had booked an appointment for, but Mav came home yesterday arvo (after business hours closed) and said that he was to present his house captain speach this morning during that time and of course as a mum I have to be there for him.

So I rang the spa and asked to postpone the appointment and the woman told me they can't do that and that because I haven't given 24 hours notice they'll have to deduct 50% from the voucher. I then suggested that if that's how they treat their clients I have no wish to be one, so could they simply refund the balance and I'll go somewhere else to which she responded that they don't refund gift vouchers.

I've looked on their website and there's nothing with those terms on it, and there's definitely nothing on the paperwork that came with the gift voucher.

This is really upsetting me because it was gift from my husband and I think they've really give him a raw deal by doing what they've done. I feel bad because I've fucked it up by not being able to go when I said I would, but I can't choose otherwise for the sake of my son.

Maybe it's just the hormones in my system at the moment, but I can't stop crying now. I'd really like to kick that bitch in the cunt.

She hasn't heard the last of me. I'm going to get my shit together and then point out a few facts for her and see what she has to say.

But what makes you think it's your last anniversary?

Update:

My uncle has left for FL to talk to the detective on the case. My aunt is staying here hoping to make funeral arrangements here, but for some reason they are doubtful.

I am going to take 2 Advil PM to help me sleep, take a hot bath, and go to bed and read until I fall asleep.

Thanks for putting up with me the past few days.

Shawnee

That sucks Ali, and would make me really angry too . Its awful costumer service! Talk to the manager, and if necessary after that her manager.

Shawnee, try taking that advil pm with some warm milk too. Im so sorry that you are going through this...but especially that you are being kept in the dark...I can only imagine how hurtfully frustrating that is. Im sending you a wish for comforting peace.

:(

I just read all this. I am so sorry, and I am sending out a little prayer for you and yours.

Seriously.

This is the letter I'm thinking of sending.

:thumb:

Do you know if she was able to rebook that time to another client, Ali? If not, I think you're being somewhat unreasonable and the 50% seems fair -she was unable to use that chair/room during that time which represent loss of income to her, although she may have been able to avoid paying the therapist if she was able to get the message to her in time (which seems unlikely if i understand correctly and you called in the morning to cancel a 10am appointment).

It is standard practice here for you to be responsible for 50-100% of the charges if you cancel an appointment with les than 24hours notice, almost without exception. A child forgetting to inform you of a school obligation would not usually be considered an emergency.

Before sending this letter, I would advise you to consider what outcome you want. Do you want to get the most you can from the voucher, do you want revenge, or do you want justice? The letter is at best unpleasant in tone and makes you sound like a bullying harridan who attacks and then hides behind her husband's coattails. I believe this letter would raise the hackles of most people and cause them to give you the minimum they possibly can. If you can stand to lose the whole voucher, go ahead. It will probably make her upset/angry for a while, so you will have revenge.

If you want to see some money or other form of compensation, I advise you to adopt a much more conciliatory tone.

If you want true justice, I would seek the advice of a local business bureau/citizens advice bureau before taking any action.

this letter is written while you are still in the anger stage of your upset, and I believe that it may not be in your best interests to act during that stage.

JMHO

Dr. Monster ;)

Well, it was Dazza who purchased the voucher in the first place as a gift for me, so it is he who outlaid the money which they've had for some considerable time now.

I accept that they can keep the 50% for the cancellation but do they really expect me to want to go there and spend the remainder of the voucher when they've been slightly unreasonable, and I might add, not informing a client of their 'policy', and that right there is the crux of my argument. At no time were we informed either verbally or in writing that the place had this policy. It is to be found nowhere. Normally if a service industry has this policy, they make it pretty clear up front and it should be written on the voucher if nowhere else. Whether that is in fact law or simply common practice I know not, but most industries stipulate these sorts of terms in writing.

To be honest, I was really shocked at her hardline approach to a new customer. I've never had someone behave that way before. On the few other occassions where this sort of issue has come up, the shop has always been accomodating about rebooking and it is very surprising to me that she'd be so unreasonable.

As to the issue of the voucher being unrefundable (which is what I asked for on the phone - the balance ie 50%) well that's at the stores discretion. Under normal circumstances, I'd think that yes, it's reasonable not to refund, but under this circumstance, if I were the manager with an unhappy customer on the phone, I would think that conceding the remaining 50% would be the best option even if it is not normally the case.

My issue is that daryl paid for this 6 months ago, and now I wont go there because for one thing, they know that I wanted to change the time and chances are they'd know about the conversation over the phone, so what sort of service am I likely to get anyway, and secondly I believe that if there'd been some kind of documentation of their policy I'd have tried to manage the situation differently, such as by calling yesterday afternoon even though that still wouldn't have been 24 hours notice. As it was, I called before normal business hours this morning hoping that I'd catch them early enough to make better arrangements.

At no time during the conversation did she suggest that perhaps I get there when I can and have half the service and perhaps come back at a later date for the rest (which in hindsight is what should have been the suggestion imo), or that as a show of good faith, they could waive their usual 'fee' for cancellation or anything. She was not willing to concede a thing and that's bad business practice in that sort of industry. You go to a day spa to relax. Who can relax after a confrontation with the manager?

In effect, the business has us by the short and curlies thanks to their alleged policies and quite frankly, if they think they're going to get away with it, they have another thing coming.

Too right I'm pissed off about it. Yes they should have to pay. Either give me back at least 50% of what has been paid, or I'm going to make some noise.

What I'm really upset about is the fact that it was a gift to me from Daryl and I feel like it's something I've broken. I feel like I've not given it justice. I couldn't care less about the massage or facial. It's the fact that Daryl tried to do something special for me and I've fucked it up through no fault of my own.

With regard to her rebooking, they're a full service spa including hair dressing and waxing etc. I have very little doubt that they'd be able to rebook considering they were unable to book me in for over a week from when I called to make the appointment.

I understand that, really, but you need to be sure what outcome you want before you select your weapons. The letter is very nicely written and expresses your feeling in no uncertain terms, I just doubt it's the best vehicle for getting your refund.

At this point I don't really care about the money. I want them to realize that they're treating clients badly and in the long run, it's going to be bad for their business.

I get what you're saying. At this point though, i have nothing to lose really. I tried diplomacy on the phone and got no result hence the strongly worded email.

It shits me that she wouldn't negotiate. It shits me because she's already got our money.

eta: Be wary of gift vouchers in future! Lesson learned here.

then the letter is great.

Get Lexi to kick her in the cunt for you.

Have you gone to the salon? There may well be a notice about the cancellation fees hanging on the wall. It may not be on the gift certificate, but might actually be posted somewhere. All Salons I worked for had this same policy. This is usually because the girls are paid via commission, and losing a spa package (usually 2-4 hours) is a lot of money.

I would also suggest re-wording your letter slightly.... Put the focus on the policy breach more, and less on the owner. People get defensive when threatened or told they are wrong.

"I would ask that you put yourself into my situation. Nowhere on the gift certificate, or on your website does it mention the cancellation policy or the no refund policy. I am sure you can clearly see how one could get confused and upset when these matters are "sprung upon" them. While I was on the the phone with someone from your spa, I felt as though my concerns and miss-understanding were being dismissed. I am sure the staff member was just busy, and not trying to be rude or indifferent. This gift certificate was given to me by my husband as he thought I would enjoy the services your spa provides. I am hoping that we can work out this miss-understanding to both of our best interests. I look forward to hearing from you soon to resolve this unfortunate situation."


That being said, even if you do not want to have the services because of her abruptness and rudeness on the phone, They may have products in the store you could purchase. You might not want to be pampered by this business, but if you need shampoo/make-up/hairspray anyway..... at least you are getting some of you hubby's well earned money in products.

When you are ready to get pampered, I would suggest calling a mobile spa service. As a mobile business, I was much more lenient with cancellations, as I did not have the overhead of the salon itself to worry about.

She responded to my email saying she wouldn't refund the money but that I could use the voucher to purchase items from the store.

I told her she could choose and I'd have someone pick them up. At this point I really don't give a shit anymore.

Does getting kicked in the cunt hurt as bad as getting kicked in the balls?

The world may never know...

You might have to ask a hermaphrodite that question. ;)

My students.

Today was my first full day. I taught 5 out of my 6 classes. While most of the kids were great, a few of them were awful and I ended up sitting in after my last class of the day to have a good cry. Tomorrow's another day, I guess.

Hang tight Chocolatl.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. But Shawnee hits the nail on the head, the world may never know.

I know that a kick in the nuts is the most painful thing a man could experience. I've seen it first hand.

I guess women don't go around kicking each other in the cunt. Their version of a nut kick must be a hair yanking.

I've known two women injure themselves with something very similar to a kick in the cunt :P One who fell onto a broken bike seat (as a kid) and one who slipped and landed awkwardly on the stilletto heel of her shoe. Both described it as their most shocking and painful experience. The second ended up in hospital over night hemorrahging blood.

Uh huh. Yep it happens all the time.
"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

Stilletto + cunt = hemorrage.

But what if you hit a guy in the nut with a stilletto?

Nutsmoke

lol. Fair enough. Actually I was there at the time. It was pretty fucking awful. She'd sort of slipped, or missed her footing or something, going down some steps.

it hurts. a lot. But it doesn't make you barf like a good kick in the nuts can. I was playing paintball as a young teen and threw myself into some bushes to avoid fire. I landed on a pointy tree stump. I was out of action for a good while and never felt the point-blank paintballs that hit me before people realized something was wrong.

Since nuts are SO sensitive, I often wonder why man hasn't evolved to had a more protective nutsack. Sheesh.