Sorry, Nirvana. :(

I'm sorry Nirvana.

Sorry, Nirvana. :(

I'm sorry Nirvana.

Thankyou

Missing Trilby, today.

And in a different way, missing ZenGum, too.

I miss Zen too. He was the only other regular aussie poster, and i dont even call myself regular anymore. :/

"Saw" her in (one of the) poetry threads today. Hit me really hard.
Had a cry.

Not to say I don't miss Zen.
But my alcohol counsellor doesn't know anything about him, unlike Bri.

I am sure the spirit of Trilby will linger here eternally. She is at peace. Remember that when the sadness takes you. Xxx

Yesterday I made a number of simple calculation errors (boss thinks I'm an idiot) and had a series of muscle spasms. It turns out I had a blood sugar in the range of 30-50 mg/dl. I don't know why this happened or how my doctor was out today and had to see a PA. Now I'm supposed to take a bunch of supplements that MIGHT help, we don't know. But if this muscle spasm issue continues I'm going to have to change fields. At least it probably isn't MS.

Fuckety fuck fuck.
Dads is at the JR today. The hospital that told him he didn't have Alzheimers or epilepsy or the other things I can't remember he was diagnosed with.

Oops! Their bad!

They've changed their minds as the massive doses of steroids haven't done anything other than make him more unstable and more confused.
Yes it is dementia.
Yes the diagnosis of encephalitis still stands.
But now we're adding Parkinson's to the list.
It's a right old party in Dad's body.

Nice to know that when someone is shaking themself apart they still have to endure the stress of a 1.5 hour bus journey...

Sundae, I am so sorry. Parkinson's is notoriously hard to diagnose, even though it seems to have a couple of glaringly obvious symptoms ... My mum had it. Correctly identified and treated may symptoms subside, for a while at least. Hugs to you and your family x

I'm sorrry, Sundae.

:(

Today:

Mom is in the hospital. How long? Who knows? Is she just worn out from chemo and radiation? Who knows? Is she going to get better? Probably not. Do any of the 284 parts of the medical community who are treating her have any idea what anyone else is doing? Seems not.

I'm sick as fuck from Effexor withdrawal, having failed to come up with 400 bucks (thought it might come from my ass, but nothing but the shits.)

I walk like a drunk. I have the 'wooWOOwooWoo" feeling I always associated with some cartoon dog coming off an LSD trip. I shouldn't be driving, but what are you gonna do? But trying to act normal because no one gives a flying shit about that (nor should they) in the face of what we're dealing with with mom.

I'm angry and sick. No way to deal with what is going on, for sure.

And the mouth breather next to me here at the library obviously doesn't understand what "TYPING" is and the sounds that emanate from a KEYBOARD when someone knows how to do something besides feed their fucking cow in FarmFuckLand.

Have I whined enough? Good. Thanks for listening.

But I just can't tell you how much it means to me that my friends here care. Really. Oh thank you.

Now you can get back to crying for the usual suspects. I'll be fine. Really.