Sundae, so so sorry to hear this - horrible for you, horrible for your mum, just so sorry. Fuck cancer. Please don't apologize for being upset, of course you're upset.
I am so sorry you're dealing with so much. :(

Sorry, Sundae. Give your mom and dad an extra hug for us when you visit.

Why can't I just be a normal, decent, achieving daughter?
Poor Mum. Saddled with me as well as cancer.

Yes, I am going to try to step up, but despite what this Govt says, mental health issues aren't just stupid lazy people making stupid lazy lifestyle choices.

I NEED to be well to help Mum. I'm terrified. And if I am, what is she?

Sundae, by helping your mum already, by being there for her, you ARE a normal, decent, achieving daughter.


Sent by thought transference

This. To be repeated many times.

I'm just catching up - hon, this is a horrible thing for you all to be dealing with, cut yourself some slack.

limey has hit the nail on the head there, good and proper.

You're doing just fine.

More then normal actually.

I think it's Bruce that likes to say not to compare your genuine inside to other's made up outside? Most people are all talk and would like to think the most of what they'd do if, but all to often when shit hits he fan they react to their mother getting cancer as something that is entirely happening to them - not to their mother. In contrast - it seems to me you are stepping up and trying to be there for her, measuring yourself to what you'd like to be and give to her in her time of need. Normal is not a particularly high bar in this case, and it seems you are jumping way above it.

I'm sure there are a million thoughts going through your head, that's normal. But these thoughts don't flash in a logical order and it's confusing. Writing it down here forces you to kind of organize your thoughts. Write something, read it, and say yeah that's right, or no, and rewrite it. It's a big help and we don't mind, it lets you and us understand, so write away. :thumb:

Things aren't going well in my head.
I'm not coping. I'm sure I will again soon, but in the mean time if my reactions seem a little "off" it's because I'm going through one of those dips again.

Very hard to communicate effectively.

I've had to reach out to two people who have been very kind in return, but I'm trying not to spread the whole weariness any further.

And no, this isn't directly related to anything my family are going through. Only indirectly because it's affecting my mental health.

That's all.

Go and see that sympathetic doctor, Sundae. Maybe a little rebalancing of meds in the light of recent strains on you is needed? xxx

Good idea.

Seconded. A little help in that direction can go a long way. Sending good thoughts.

today there was a head on collision on a bridge here in town. a tour bus and an amphibious tourist vehicle collided head on. four people dead at the scene, twelve critically injured, another thirty or more with injuries. it's very tragic. the tour bus was full of foreign exchange students enroute to or from a local community college. the "ride the duck" was full of tourists.. two other vehicles were involved in the crash. the road's been shut down for hours. "we're contacting the consulates in an effort to reach the families" so sad.

That's awful! :(

Sent by thought transference

Just had a call from Mum.
She is seriously angry [ftr she has just had a cancerous tumour excised]

I know my Mum.
I know she deals with stress/ hurt/ problems with anger. Really bad anger.
And she's going through a terrible situation. I just hoped the fury would take a little bit longer to arrive.

She's already accused me of not keeping the place clean.
She left at 06.50, and yes'm, I have managed to keep it clean.
She assumed I did not make sure Dads took his tablets (he did)

And when she called, she interrupted me talking about Auntie Joyce who is in hospital, because she was far too tired. AFTER asking me how she was.
Having cancer does not make you a nicer person.

But I do love her and just sounding off here.