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Sorry, Sundae. It's not fair, but at least you know her well enough to know where she's coming from. You're a good egg.
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Yeah, that sucks. Be thankful you understand where it's coming from, and not your fault. Be strong and soldier on.
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On the personal aspect of "bullshit kills people":
In the mean time, back in the short term world, things are very tense around here lately, because a couple of the stabbing incidents were in the city I live in, and a lot of the pressure to provide additional security falls on city hall, where I work. Everyone is up and armed about that the whole freaking week. Every night I get calls from concerned parents, some of them directly linked to the events and that's all I can say, some just terrified from the atmosphere and the media. Every day since this wave started, every morning, everyone shouting at each other and fighting about what responsibility falls on who and screaming out the same old political garbage. I need to be this super nice agreeable person all the time, because 90% of this job is diplomacy, and yet all I really want to do is to get up and call out everyone on their bullshit. My blood is boiling and I need to act like it's the nice calming steam of a relaxing cup of tea. And the worst part is, I have become shockingly good at it. Shocking for me anyway. Probably to anyone who has ever known me too. Which is exactly the change of personality life has being demanding for me, and yet I can't help but feel like I am loosing so much of myself in this... On both directions, I am more agreeable and diplomatic then ever when it seems consequential and more of a prick who pushes people away when it's unlikely to be, and yet neither feels like the fun yet prickly self I used to be. |
Sounds like a bag of stress, trace :(
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Remember it's not you, you're not lying, not being deceitful, it's your job, like an actor playing a roll. Don't be ashamed of becoming good at it, that's what they hired you to do.
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Oh sorry - that probably portrays me better then I am - it wasn't intentional: Let me clarify that for me this isn't an issue of guilt, it's an issue of restraint. My problem isn't dishonesty on an ethical basis, it's having to keep all of what I really think inside.
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That's what makes actors good at their job. You can portray the sympathetic shoulder to lean on, then kick a puppy on the way home. ;)
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It is just terrible. |
So sorry. Chiropractic for this, oh god ... I can't imagine. Wrenching bones that are already disintegrated and forcing them past ... aggh. So sorry to hear all of this, the entire situation is terrible as you say.
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I agree, I've had good luck with Chiropractors but I wasn't broken, just bent.
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God damn it... Just followed the post-chain on your friend, UT. And it has gone on for awhile, I am hoping modern medicine still has some time.
That's... How do you deal with a situation like that? I mean, here's your friend just when she needs support more then ever and hard truth more then ever, while been a self-destructive idiot and yet having every right to be a self destructive idiot. How the fuck do you navigate that terrain? |
You have the argument your whole life, but there is this point where you aren't entitled any longer, and then you just don't have it. You just leave it on the floor.
My friend was going to have the argument yesterday with her ("Do you want to see your children graduate high school?") but she was still too groggy and in pain. |
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