Chuck Norris is the only thing in the universe more real than his reflection in a mirror.

If Chuck Norris was a vampire he would be able to SEE his reflection in a mirror.

When Chuck is about to kill you, you can see your entire life reflected in his eyes. Then you're dead.

Chuck Norris casts vampires' reflections for them.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell " What the hell was that?"

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

We live in an ever expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can catch a fart and paint it green.

A criminal invaded my house. I don't own a gun, so I yelled "Chuck Norris" and the home invader ran away, crying like a little baby.

Chuck Norris can move faster than light. Albert Einstein tried to tell Chuck that this is impossible. We now know Albert Einstein as Stephen Hawking.

damn you wolf!

CHUCK NORRIS IS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN?! oh for fuck's sake!

chuck norris is dead to me.

chuck norris can eat my asshole. with a spoon. slowly


interesting chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris wets the bed.

Chuck Norris believes that The Host is actually a Hostess Twinkie.

@ wolf; therefore, Chuck Norris has his own ministry so that God will have someplace to go to be inspired!

Oh, did I miss the fun? And here I had some fun things to say...

Well, I will post them anyway I suppose.
When I told my SO about this thread, the first thing he said was "Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a building. It exploded. No one building can hold that much awesomeness."

And here is my contribution: The Ultimate Showdown


Edit: Oops, I thought Chuck Norris won in that song. never mind.