Cicero, I luv you lady. You hit the nail on the head much more eloquently than I could have; thank you.

Brian, I don't know what your issue is with psychiatrists or drugs, but I didn't exactly have your option of "manning up". When I got out of that relationship, there was so little untraumatized psychological material left in my head, I quite literally could not function on a daily basis. If left alone, I would stand in the center of the room with a blank look on my face until someone came and told me what to do. I did not know how to function. Ergo, I got some pretty heady drugs and intensive therapy. Over the past several years, the drugs have been weaned away bit by bit, except for a couple. One of these is a highly neurologically addictive drug that helps control the panics. Because this is a neuro-chemical addiction, I can't be taken off it, except very very slowly, over the course of a decade (?) because of the dose I take and how long I've been on it. So yes. I'm on drugs. No, I am not ashamed of it. And I am now capable of living by myself and caring for myself and my little girl without assistance, something I once believed would never be possible for me. As to why I didn't leave him? Because I loved him. Because it took nearly a year for me to realize what he was doing was abuse (I was raised in a very sheltered home and didn't know people DID these kinds of things to each other...). Because it took me that long to set up an escape that he couldn't track. Because I feared for my life. And because no matter how much "self-defense" it might have been, back then I would not have killed for ANY reason. Could I? Yes. Would I? No. That was my moral line in the sand. And while I appreciate your offer to talk, I do not think that would be edifying for either of us.

You were nuts.
You got help.
Now you're better.
Tomorrow you'll be all better.

Sounds like a damn good plan, to me.:thumb2:

This is way off track, but what is this drug?

I cant remember the name of the drug I was prescribed (something like Paxil), but, after only two days on it I was experiencing really weird side effects...like weird little brain jolts and stomach problems. I went on-line and discovered that the body's physical dependency to this drug becomes so severe that people cant get off of it. They keep going back and/or like you it takes a long, long time to withdraw from it. I stopped taking it immediately. I only wanted something short term to help relax me a bit from tension...the tension I was experience was causing my TMJ to flair up...but my doctor prescribed me this! It felt like a scam to me. The pharmaceutical companies give a kick-back to doctors to prescribe the drug and so doctors are prescribing it willy nilly and to people who don't really need it. (Two of the doctors in my network really give me the impression of this). This drug is a guaranteed money-maker because it is so hard to get off of.

Sorry Treas, I know in your case it probably was a life saver and dealing with the long term weaning-off is definitely worth it to you.

Ativan is one such drug. They give it out like candy to cancer patients because it supposedly helps nausea of chemotherapy. It also "flattens out" your personality and (supposedly) prevents panic attacks... and is highly addictive. Which they don't tell you before you take it.

My father had some miserable days after he quit it cold turkey; only after he instituted a 5-week taper did he get a reasonably tolerable withdrawal.
:angry:

The one I'm on is called Clonopin. It's an older drug, from what I've been told.

I'm on Paxil.
No side effects for me, and I came off it quite easily last time. I wasn't ready to, so I had all sorts of problems, but none physical.

I don't thinks it's a conspiracy - I think it's a case of weighing up the possible negatives and positives. Since the advent of the internet I have never taken a drug I haven't fully researched. Even before that I read the information (provided by law in this country) which came with the drug, where they list all possible side effects even down to those that occur in a handful of cases.

Brain I don't mean to get on your case, but I've been thinking about this. You have every right to criticise someone you know well you you believe is shamming and scammin, sure. My issue and that of other people here is that you seem to be spreading your net far wider. You criticise people for using drugs to "cope" - do you not believe that some cases are due to chemical imbalance? Because if not, how could tablets help?

And if you accept that, would you take the same harsh line with a diabetic who used drugs to cope?

Same difference.

-> This. <-

Be an informed consumer whenever possible. I realize (especially in a hospital situation) it is not always realistic, but make it a goal.

:) You're a brave woman. I'm proud of you.

-blushes- Thank you, Razz :)