PERFECT MAN
 

sorry to offend, onyx, it was an old joke.....and, i am a man....so MY perfect man is one that buys the beer, loves the Cowboys, and doesn't oogle my wife.

oh, and what else is there besides constant sex?

UT, after a long friendship/partnership there has to be some sense of loss and maybe a little envy of half the team striking off in a new endeavor. Especially if they show extreme excitement and enthusiasm, you're bound to have those "What am I, chopped liver?" feelings.
But don't dwell on the past, learn and profit from it. Then when in a year or two you're an internet mogul with a trophy wife, you can brag to the rest of us losers. :D

Re: PERFECT MAN
 

The years between my first wife's departure and meeting my current spouse were a strange and wonderful mixture of loneliness, cockiness, ups and downs, wild and crazy sex with lots of new and different women, really long dry spells wherein I was certain that no one would ever have anything to do with me again...in short, things were a pendulum, swinging crazily from one side to the other, with all things in between. But at least the pendulum kept swinging, you know?

After you've been in a monogamous relationship for a long, long time, and you get out there on the streets again, it is both stimulating and terrifying. Even when you manage to hook up with someone, you then start worrying about "what if they're crazy" (some will be), "what if she becomes obsessed with me and I don't really like her that much" (it might happen), "what if I like her a lot but I'm just a fun toy and a pal for her" (happened to me), "what if, after we get funky, she goes home and I realize that I'm just as alone as I was when we hooked up"...

When things go good, there's no better feeling in the world. You feel great about yourself, you feel renewed, powerful, desireable. When things don't go quite as well, you feel like an ogre, stupid, clumsy, an outcast.

No matter whether it goes well or not, every day you have to trust in yourself, you have to be strong, you have to have at least a modicum of self-discipline. Otherwise, all is lost.

Slang's pretty much flexible in the same way ... another of the reasons we get along.

Re: PERFECT MAN
 

Zat a real problem? :D

Well I googled Lumberjim and got this image.
I also googled Lumberjim's wife and got ziltch so I googled wife and got 38,700,000 hits but I don't know which one is his.:p

Hey, Dar...what about the ones he left - did you say 'stuck to' or 'hanging on'? - the door?
------------------

hanging on.

i cleaned. and cleaned. and did the whole martha-freaking-stewart thing. stuffed mushrooms, made little phylo-dough cups for some fancy crap...alll kinds of things. i had a group of friends...some editors from a local paper, etc...over. it was stylish. it was a hit.

at the end, with said guests out the door, dar feeling pretty proud, i went to divest myself of diet coke....

closed the door, sat...

and looked up to see bright red underwear hanging from the doorknob.

thought back...and realized every guest had emptied bladders before leaving the house.

his reason? after the shower, didn't want to leave them on the floor.

now, how am i supposed to answer THAT??!?!

My God Dar, you let him use the bathroom after you cleaned?:eek:

Lumberjim, the "loss of a roommate" line is one of the best yet. You put it exactly how I need to think about it.

I'm built differently, I think, being an only child raised by a single parent mom. When she rejected me, the idea that there might have been someone else in the recipe really didn't matter. It would have been as much a problem for me if she had come back saying she tried to get laid and failed.

In fact I expect she's having phone sex with the dude in the very same bed we've slept in for ages. The hurtful thing is that we were never that intense. Never had phone sex. Although I was/would have been that intense for her, she never really was for me.

So, I think, for whatever reason, she wanted to believe that I was "the one", but I wasn't. And so she went the same way as, perhaps, Juju's friend's husband, the one who's "not gay". Like that guy, or at least who we think he might be -- she tried to believe she loved me, but never really did. Tried to convince herself she was sexually attracted to me, but never really was. Tried to make me something different, until I pushed back hard. Tried to convince herself that her upbringing was the problem and, thus, that SHE was the problem -- when really, the problem was US all along.

Unfortunate. But it does happen, all the time from what I've seen. Didn't think it would happen to me. Didn't see it happening...

But here's the good part: the next woman I hook up with is going to downright adore me, worship me, respect me, praise me and love me, because you people tell me I deserve it, and I believe you, and I'm never ever ever going to make this mistake again.

Look forward to that story when I write in in 2009.

Nice hat Jim! :)

What? Dumped some stock based on insider info?

Dude, don't just take our word for it. Everyone deserves to be treated special by their s.o., so long as you do right by them.

Well they all do that, but if they love you they don't get pissy if it doesn't succeed. Then some succeed and don't like what they've created so screw it, be you.:)