Why thank you sky, that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me on da Cellar... :D

No need to take an inference.
I said an explicitly nice thing about you.

hehehe evil laugh. Good luck finding the original post though.

Not so much upsetting me personally, but a cloud in the family sky at least.

Cousin Susan called to say that Uncle Charlie died on Monday.
Now Charlie was married to Mary (deceased) who was my Mum's mother's sister (also deceased). Which is why we weren't called immediately of course.

However Mum & Susan have become closer over the years, and now talk at least once a fortnight. They are only about 10 years apart, both lost their mothers, both looking after ageing fathers and have both had cancer of one sort or another.

So although I haven't seen (Great) Uncle Charlie in years, I do feel Mum's sorrow on behalf of her cousin.

Then again, he was only in hospital (this time) from Friday, and when Susan saw him on Sunday he was eating well and saying, "I'm alright, gel." So although he'd been ill for years, on oxygen and in and out of hospital, at the end he succumbed to pneumonia quickly, quietly and peacefully.

Susan was there with 10 minutes to spare after getting a call at work to say he was on his way out. So she feels no guilt at least.

RIP Charlie S.

I'm sorry for your loss, Sundae.

Re. quickly, quietly and peacefully: this is why they call pneumonia "an old man's friend".

Okay.
Turns out the problems we had over Christmas are not over.
My 15 year old niece is pregnant.

I'm trying to calm people down by pointing out she hasn't done anything more than we already assumed she did, but it's not going down well.

My Mum & sister are going through their end-of-the-world routine again. I'm not blaming them, I know this is genuinely how they feel. It's just they're hurting themselves more with this reaction. And it doesn't "solve" anything after all. And selfishly it makes my life hell of course.

Ah dear.
Teens and hormones and Catholicism. And men old enough to know better. Bad, bad mix.

Looks like it's going to be a quiet termination.
I honestly don't know whether to admire my sister for her about-face on abortion in the face of reality, or whether to be furious that her superior attitude all this time has simply been because her faith hasn't been tested. I think I'll just keep my mouth shut and let everyone get on with things as best they can.

She is 15 and he is 36? Is that right?
If so, I think he should be in jail - just my opinion.
I was curious as to the catalyst for the "relationship" to come out. This was my first thought.
Sorry to hear what you were all probably wondering in the first place.

He's 32 from what I can remember.
They considered the Police, but she would have to give evidence, and they don't want her to go through that. Mum & Dad want to cut his bollocks off though.

The relationship came out because we had adverse weather. She was caught where she shouldn't have been with no viable way home. She lied through her teeth, but they were suspicious enough to check her Facebook page before she got home and it all came out from there.

From the beginning she denied any physical activity, but they found photos on her (confiscated) phone that suggested otherwise. When this all kicked off at Christmas, Mum told my sis to keep an eye on her daughter's menstural cycle just in case... and so it came to light.

Classic is right. This guy should be behind bars.

he should. But the lass has enough of a trauma ahead of her without having to go through the nastiness of testifying.

How's thing between your niece and the family? She still the centre of a cloud of anger, or is she being emotionally supported?

Emotional support isn't big in this family.
It's more about pointing the finger at the one who rocked the boat, who ruined things for everyone, who caused the problems and put everyone else through hell. And-what-will-the-neighbours-say.

I imagine she is being subjected to white hot sparks of fury, as well as looming clouds of disappointment, and is carrying the burden of destroying both the immediate and extended family.

That's what I went through when I left my husband anyway.

The only good thing is that my nephew seems to be out of the loop to some extent.
He was happy and jolly (and farting and laughing at it) while Mum & sis had their crisis meeting. We did his RE homework on the computer - a poem about creation, chaos, sin and hope if you can believe it. I was then accused of writing it. Hello? Horrible metaphor alert?! I don't think so. I did split his stream of consciousness prose into the shape of a poem though.

They considered the Police, but she would have to give evidence, and they don't want her to go through that.

The next 15-year-old he preys on will really wish she did.

found it - I still think . . .
that Tony is 100% correct. Accountability

Who knows if she is even the first he has done this to. Boy, it would have been nice if the last one had called the police, eh?

I suspect the problem is not that the parents "don't want to put her through it," so much as it is they don't want to face the idea that she doesn't want to press charges. They don't want to rock the boat until she gets the abortion, otherwise they risk convincing her that he really is the only one who understands her after all...

It's all part of the family ethos.
Don't show yourself up. Brush it under the carpet.
Shhhhhhhhhhh.

I think that they are blaming her for this. Because of what she's done to them, how she's hurt them. Mum said it over dinner, "I hope one day she [15 yo] realises just what she's put them [parents] through!"

I know that isn't healthy.
I grew up being fed the same lines - you're to blame, you're breaking up this family, you always have to be in the spotlight, you're just showing off because you're tired, why can't you be more like your sister.

Not saying she had any of that growing up. But she's getting it now, poor cow.

Thy can't get past the fact she lied, that she knew they [parents] hated him, so it must have been deliberate. She's not being considered as a victim, their attitude is to assume they've simply been too good to her, and this is how she repays them.

I don't even know what I think any more, after being downstairs and listening to it all again over dinner. I just know I'm glad I decided not to have children.

Poor kid. My heart goes out to her. Being at the centre of a storm feels shitty.

What was upsetting me last night: a poorly Pilau. Seemed off-colour most of the day, then was sick; brought up a load of yellow bile. It happens from time to time, so I wasn;t that worried. Then he wasn't so interested in his meal come evening, and I was stoopid and tried to encourage him to eat. Why i do this I don't know. So, he ate about a third of it and left the rest. Then about two hours later, he brought the lot up. What was really sad was it took three lots of retching to bring it up and on the third retch he did a little cry, like it really hurt.

So then he was sadsack for the rest of the evening. By about 10 o'clock he seemed to be showing an interest in the food cupboard, so I got the tiniest bit of kibble and put it in front of him, jst to see if he'd eat it. he didn't. He was clearly asking for something, but it wasnt food. So, I refilled his water; no response. Then i took him on the back street in case he wanted to do something. Nada. But when we came back in he put his front paws on the bottom step of the stairs and looked up them then at me then back upstairs. I said "Do you want to go to bed?" He looked upstairs and then back at me again. "Go on then" I said. off he went upstairs.

Followed him up and he was on my bed looking sorry for himself. I figured maybe I should just close up for the night and go to bed, so he could relax and sleep. So I made a drink of hot chocolate and went to bed. And he lay on my bed with a slight whine under his breath. Every few minutes he'd change position. Move from one part of the bed to another. Get off the bed and lie by its side. Get back on the bed. Get off again. Go to the top of the stairs and lie there. Go to a different part of the landing and lie there. Come back to the bed. Lie at the bottom of the bed, then come and flump onto the spare pillow next to my head.

Every so often he'd cry a little, and every so often I'd hear a gurgling sound. Must have had such a bad stomach ache. Poor lamb must have felt like shit.

This went on for about two and a half hours. He eventually seemed to settle to sleep, so i went to sleep myself. He was still not himself this morning.

However; this evening, having had a nice leisurely walk and a ride in mum's car, followed by a good wholesome nap, he seemed a little better. He had perked up no end by the time I was presenting him with a bowl of chicken and boiled rice. Ate the lot and was eager for more. Only gave him a small portion. I'll give him another tiny portion before he goes to bed. Hopefully whaever it was has passed now. But it was really horrid having him so distressed and unable to settle. Poor fellah didn't know what to do with himself.

With all due respect, SG, I know this is upsetting you and you need to talk about it, but I sorta feel that as she's a minor and you have previously given out personal details and posted many pics on here including your nephew, you might want to limit your discussion on the ins and out of this situation to preserve her privacy.

Aw Dana, I'd be beside myself if that was Diz.
Hope he's over it.

I now have guilt to add to the former upset.
Just been downstairs and Mum has been crying. "That's my first great-grandchild." I know she really believes that. And my sister will too. I shouldn't be so quick to judge people with different beliefs than my own. They really are hurting.

Although Mum did say immediately afterwards, "I can't believe she's done this...." So I wasn't too far off the mark.

But no. I feel rotten for trying to be all rational when they are battling their faith in trying to see a termination as the lesser of two evils - and barely getting by.

Monster, I appreciate the thought but I think the chance of anyone finding this and putting all the elements together are so low that it's not an issue. Since all this started I have not mentioned her by name, even where I have in the past it's usually a contraction of her name. Her surname is not on here (it's not the same as mine or my parents'). And there is almost nothing to link old photos with this news, apart from someone going through everything I have posted.

Some will never stop wondering who that could have been. There is no consoling those who have that belief from those that don't.

Fair enough, SG, glad you have considered it.

Update: Mr P. is feeling much better and is back to his happy go lucky self.

My hair. I really really really hate it. I'm trying to grow it long for my sis's wedding, but its just so ugly. It seems too short to get cut in a cute bob like i want, and it curls stupidly outward. It looks like a bad man's 80's haircut or something. This is it just blow dried out of the shower, which I don't want to, neither do I really know how to do anything else to it. I've tried straightening it, but that is not really any better. Trying to curl it under is too much work, and still looks like a bad 80's haircut. I think I'm gonna go to my favorite place and just ask 'em if they can try to cut it into something cute, but keep as much length as possible. If I really don't like it, I can always go get a pixie cut 2weeks before the wedding. I just feel so lost with hair though.

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE LEAVE YOUR FUCKING HAIR ALONE. YOU ARE ADORABLE.

A small smile would definitely not kill you.*




*Your results may vary. IF you die from smiling I will not be held responsible.

Get a Mohawk and Dye it Purple with Blue undertones !!
You'll be the Talk of the family for Years to come !!!

Really Zip? Are you sure blue undertones are right for her complexion? I was thinking mauve.

I cannot, and do not want to, outdo my drug/drunkie cousin with 3 kids she sloughs off on her mom.

Bullshit. BOTH of you were thinking
"Why is the camera pointed up so high?"

MTP: Your present hair is a workable length. Just go to a very good hairstylist. ;)

I like your hair

I don't think it's too short to cut into a bob, MTP. That bit curling under your left ear seems to be right about the right length, you just need to cut the back layers a bit so it's all one length. How long before your sister's wedding?

Thanks for the encouragement, I'm just lost when it comes to hair.
Her wedding is March 13. She'd be OK if I went back to a pixie cut, I just thought it would be nice to have longer hair for it. The back seems way longer than the sides. The back is down to my shoulders, but the sides are still slightly above my chin. I think I just need to stop agonizing over it and go get it cut. See how it turns out.

I think a short bob is doable too.

Bring up the back and spike out the top and sides for fun until it all grows out. You would look really cute in a bob too.

If that doesn't work just be thankful you don't have the haircut ( see link !).. apparently from the planet vulcan.
http://www.hairfinder.com/haircollec...hairstyle5.jpg

That's what's giving you the 'man from the 80s' impression. "Business in the front, party in the back" and all that. Just go get the back evened up with the shorter parts and you'll love it again.

Here's another one. There are a bunch online a stylist could do.
http://beauty.about.com/od/bobs/ss/bob3_4.htm

You look so cute in short hair anyway. ( still are cute tho )

Extensions perhaps?

My right shoulder is in round-the-clock pain from repetitive motion injury. I'm typing and mousing left-handed and it sucks. I have abaout 50% strength in my right hand. Calling specialist Monday.

I hate that stuff. I had a really painful shoulder elbow thing going when I was spending too much time in the car and leaning back and forth on the consul and door.

Bass playing? Computer use?

Wanking?

;)

[Scatman] We called it shining...[/Crothers]

I think it's a combination of mousing too much and hauling heavy speakers.

J thinks I woke up with it Sunday morning after playing out Saturday.

I can't find my change purse that I keep my driver's license, debit card, EVERYTHING that is credit card sized. Oh, grrrrr! What a pain! I'm hoping that I just left it in my friend's car last night. Otherwise, I'm going to have to report missing all that stuff and jump through a zillion hoops and pay fees to replace it all. I sure hope my friend calls back with good news. :thepain:

Didn't you lose it once before?
Where was it the first time?
Maybe it's there?

Have you tried searching via Google's MyHouse? It's another awesome google product.

The first time, I strongly suspect it was stolen - never did find it. I have a new replacement which my friend did find in her car. Yay!

I swear I'm getting early old timers'. :headshake

Do you carry that in lieu of a pocketbook/purse, or in addition?

Yeah, I just shove it in my coat pocket and don't carry a purse. I may have to rethink that, though. Maybe I'll get a chain like a watch fob and just pin it to whatever I'm wearing.

Great, I can't get my very first homework project done for my programming class. I need to download a program to do my assignment and when I go to the provided link I just get Error 404. Its a beta program and I don't know if the college computer lab has it or not...I really don't want to drive up and there find that they don't. I don't want to drive up there at all. The project is due tonight. I tried to download the program I needed last night, but when I check the zip folder it said it had 0 files. I have the assignment half done, although I was thinking of just redoing it all. I don't know whether she'll be lenient or not. If I should just submit what I have as it is, or try tomorrow and turn it in late.
Grr, I tried to not procrastinate and I still can't get shit done.

Campus will be closed by the time I get there.

You can buy those ID card holders or very small wallets with a shoulder strap.

I carry a very small bag over my shoulder but there isn't anything in it except my wallet and chap stick., oh and cell phone.

Or wear pants with pockets.

Shown her what you did and tell her about the 404/zip file. let her decide if you should do it over and turn it in late.

Amazingly enough, she answers e-mails on Sunday night. She was able to send me what I needed to download and finish my assignment. I got it turned in 3.5hrs earlier than it was due. :)

Yay for you! Isn't it nice when things work out.

Great that you got it back this time!
I try to be a minimalist, I just can't stand to part with my hand sanitizer, lotion, various meds, pens, ect. I like having space to carry a book on occasion. Plus, I really like purses. :p

Very very nice.

"The left ear has so many blisters, they may start popping before the medicine can work. Don't be surprised if you start seeing pus leaking out."

:thepain: My poor baby girl.

Ouch. Poor thing, that hurts so bad...

Liberal politics really grind my gears.

Conservative douchebags grind mine. What's your point?

You just made it for him, didn't you?

partisanity