Oooh, I remember when the Michael Vick dogfighting stuff came out. A certain Dwellar (who I won't name but he doesn't come here anymore anyway) was all like "They're just some dogs, man."

:right::mad2::eyebrow::mad::meanface::rar::cuss::angry::bitching:

Boy was I pissed off!

(Unrelated: I saw a hotdog cart for sale in town. Thought of our hotdog guy. Not the same guy who ate dogs though.)

In this country animal charities get more money than children's charities.
And you're better off being transported if you're an animal than a human, because they have more laws to safeguard you on your journey (inc breaks, water, maximum travelling time and space per animal.)

The again, they're generally off to the slaughterhouse.
Although aren't we all?
Soylent Green was people, people!

Sorry - should I have added a SPOILER tag to that?

SPOILER ALERT
 

If you haven't yet seen Citizen Kane, Star Wars, or Murder on the Orient Express, disregard...Never mind, if you haven't seen them by now you probably never will.

So: Reminds me of a Cheers episode. Frasier is pissed off about something and shouts the following spoilers:

Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, Rosebud is the name of the sled, and in Murder on the Orient Express, everyone did it!!!!

To which Woody replied: Darth Vader can't be Luke's father, they don't even have the same last name.

Snort. Don't remember the episode but I would almost definitely have seen it.
And I can see it in my mind just from the character names and your description.

There's an advert for Netflix on at the mo.
Irritates me like a hair in my bra.
It's American (NO! Make adverts for your audience!) and the woman talks really fast. I had it on SkyPlus, so I could rewind it. And I did. And I still couldn't get everything she said. And no, it didn't work because I didn't buy.

But the premise - which was kinda fun - was that this woman looked over people's shoulders or at their purchases etc and told them the endings. Then when she got home - and there were other people there! how she manage that as such an annoying bi-atch? - she was flicking through Netflix. Seen, seen, seen, oh! not seen! Another lady in the room, who may or may not have wanted to kill her (shiv in back by the end of the night is my guess, given the blankness of her eyes) says, "Her sister is really her Mom."

Ha, ha, ha, everyone gets what they deserve. WTF?

Am still trying to work out the films and or series.
Lost is obvious. And I know I got another one but it's not coming to mind.

I'm against animal abuse, but I think that humans should be valued more under the law than animals.

I think it should go in order of assholiness, like this, from most valued to least valued:

Nice humans
Nice animals
Asshole humans
Asshole animals

I mean, good dog/boston bombers?

(makes that scale-looking body movement with arms/hands)

Good dog, every time.

Can't argue with that example.

Animal abusers are sub human wastes of skin. I was irritated with those that are not animal abusers that think one is trying to gossip instead of pass along factual information :neutral:

Ugh, I'm still a snot machine and coughing up green stuff. I'm taking myself to the doc tomorrow although I don't want to go.

Sorry, but human every time. In a visceral way I'd want to hurt and hurt and hurt anyone who hurt my brother.
But if I want to be part of any kind of society based on Christian values I have to accept that's my hurt and anger talking.
Hope they pay attention.
When I was coughing up wet solids (eeeew) I was sent for an x-ray.
Good.
But after that I was left to my own devices because it wasn't a tumour.
It took four visits to get a diagnosis and the cure was... wait, rest.
I'm a moaner, but not a malingerer. They could have told me that from the offset, instead of me carrying on working with the two mile walk that entailed.

:D I just pictured you standing up and doing this.

studies show that those who abuse animals are considerably more likely than the general population to abuse people ....

Today I've been working with some people on the most recent case out of Quebec:
I find it very hard to believe that anyone who could do such a thing could ever be anywhere near a responsible human being and doesn't deserve every ton of weight the law can bring down on their heads.

Problem is most animal cruelty laws right now are pretty weak, with fairly light sentencing ... animals are still seen as property, not so much as living things. I'm not going to argue (insensibly) that an animal's life is worth more than a child's, but rather that a life is a life... and cruelty and abuse needs to be dealt with in ALL cases in the strongest possible terms

I never abuse animals, just people.

Actually, that's a myth about the animal charities. From an article about a survey from last year:


I don't know for sure about the laws regulating transport of animals versus transport of humans, but at a guess I'd say that is also more than likely a myth. A bit like the idea that the manufacturing process of animal food is more tightly regulated than human food. I also suspect that those that do exist are not great, easily bypassed and badly enforced.

Good cause I totally did! :thumb:

Yeah, you know I got that info from sources I usually despise, so I will hold my hands up and say it's most likely wrong.

But anyone who has been on the Tube in rush hour does think "Isn't there a law against this?!"

My first thought when the London Underground bombs hit was "Well, they'd have had more victims if they got up earlier!"
Of course as it unfolded I was distressed and sickened. Hurt badly, it brought back all the old worries and stress.

But that really was my initial thought, because they hit at 08.50.
I used to get on the Tube at 07.45.
And boarding at Leyton I couldn't get a seat until Oxford Circus.

Minifob wants to do Cub Scouts. Really, really wants to do it. I tried very hard to talk him out of it and/or distract him until the obsession passed, but it didn't work. We officially signed up tonight, and already they're trying to make us be den leaders and shit. I am dreading every aspect of this whole experience.

Maybe you could be the GFCF den?

I did think about forming our own just so we wouldn't have to deal with other people. But then it's harder to quit when Minifob (hopefully) decides he wants to drop out.

Tell 'em you're gay. :D

I feel your pain Clod. I feel that way about most of the activities my kids are involved in, mostly because they do try to force you to do stuff you don't want to do or don't have time to do, or even object to for various reasons.

If you pay the fees, and buy the uniforms and help out when you can, that should be enough. You shouldn't have these 'goody' Mums and Dads making you feel guilty because you don't want to totally immerse your family in their particular activity of choice. Most clubs/teams have at least one parent like that who runs things. These parents are born with a built in ability to make you feel like shit for saying no. These parents should be avoided at all costs. These parents sometimes need a beat down in my opinion.

Kept having nightmares and kept tossing all night. Finally couldn't sleep anymore but I'm bored. My hands are shaky and I'm still coughing. Doc said I have a touch of bronchitis.

Yeah, if you find it getting harder and harder to dodge that bullet, try to get the treasurer job. It takes about 2 hours a month and then when they look to you to take on jobs you can say "No. I'm the treasurer." Do not do the den leader job. A good one will take 4 hours a week or so, and much more when there are events going on. It's a lot of work.

That's funny you say that. Their treasurer is leaving, and they were really hyping the need for a treasurer last night.

There's a chance they may expect the treasurer to also do the rechartering. Rechartering is a big job each January. It's usually done by a committee chair or the pack leader. You don't want to get stuck doing rechartering. But the regular treasurer role of writing checks and generating a monthly report is easy.

It's not so bad. And great for him. Which I know you know, which is why you're being a good Mama and going along with it.
Tell them you work shifts. If you're going to lie best make it about something everyone understands. Like MONEY. (I did get the humour in Pete's response though.)
Or tell them the truth. You work freelance, have children and stepchildren, a drinking problem that makes you incontinent in liquor stores and therefore can never guarantee your presence. No-one wants to take on someone that unreliable, right? Okay, it's not really the truth, but you gotta make your lies as close to the truth as possible.
Poor baby.
I know what a sledgehammer lack of sleep is. And night terrors.
I used to have "two o' clock in the morning" thoughts when I couldn't sleep and life was wretched. Thanks to addiction, withdrawal, depression - rinse, repeat - they're now "four o'clock in the morning" thoughts.

Life can be sucky when you can't even lose yourself behind your own eyelids.

Chin up, darling. This too shall pass.
I had bronchitis too. And more that just a touch. I was grateful for my diagnosis though, it went on for so long and sounded so bad I feared cancer. I cleared lifts, supermarket queues and public toilets with my fearsome phlegmy cough. And sadly was too ill to even enjoy it properly.

Despicable little bastards. :thepain:

they are, and they're seriously harshing my mellow as I attempt to commune with nature and nuture a few fruits and vegetables

My husband. Actually, he's pissing me right off, but this thread was closer.

There could be blood spilled by the end of this day.

Now where the fuck did I put my wine!

haha...i came here to post something about Aden and saw the above post.

Dazza and I had the biggest fight we've ever had on Sunday night (about 6 hours after this post). There was yelling and threats and all sorts of stuff. Very dramatic. Since then he's been getting up early and sneaking off to work and coming home late. We haven't spoken. He's still pissing me off. lol

The issue with Aden is me talking to him this morning about a maths assignment he has due tomorrow. it got a bit heated and ended with him telling me it's my fault he doesn't study well because I should have made him study more when he was younger so he'd have better study habits now.

I pointed out that if he knows he has bad habits, then only he can change them, and since he thinks he's an adult now, then it's on him not me, so grow up and don't blame me for the fact that he'd rather play xbox.

I sent him a text that said, "I love you son. Any choices or decisions I have ever made for you have come from that. I am very sorry if you feel I have failed you. I will do better. xxx"

I am now considering confiscating his xbox and other toys and being the strict parent that he seems to think I should have been.

What do you think?

It might be less physical effort to pull the circuit breaker for the electricity to his room.

Yes, but he shares a room with his brother, so that wont work. I think I need to actually sit down and ask him what his expectations are, then write them down and stick them on his wall. If he wants me to drive him then I will, but if I do that, he is going to have to constantly remember that he's the one who's asked for it.

I have done something wrong, but I'm not sure what. I know he wants to succeed, and he definitely could do so much better than he does. He seems to just coast through by doing as little work as possible, but then he gets depressed when his marks are average. Not sure where to go from here, but I did tell him at the start of the school year that he'd live or die by his own choices because I am tired of nagging him about study.

So anyway, we'll see how grumpy he is when he gets home. My guess is very. lol

From my perspective, Ali, having had four kids go through high school ... by this time it's up to them. Yes, you can have house rules and not permit endless xbox playing etc., but you don't have to accept your son telling you it's your fault that he doesn't study well. It's HIS business to study now; it's his life that studying, or not studying, will affect. It's not your job to nag him - who will nag him in college? No one. He cannot lay this at your feet. Throw it back. Ask him what he wants out of life, what he thinks his life will look like in ten years and what he thinks it will take to get there.

Aside from self-starting his homework, he should be doing his own laundry by now and figuring out some decent cooking skills too. He could make dinner for the family once a week, for example. Not only will this allow him to survive with some reasonable health (and clean clothes) in college, it'll help you out and let him contribute to the family while he's still home. :)

Yeah, he does his own washing mostly (sometimes I do it if I'm not too busy and it's in the big kids basket waiting to be done) and he can cook and helps out around the house, and he's an awesome big brother who helps out with baby sitting etc when required.

He's not a bad kid. He's pretty freaking awesome actually. He just sucks at studying and I'm actually not sure how to motivate him any more. Mav (the next one on the list) sits down and does his when it needs doing and seems to respond well when I ask how he's going, but for some reason, Aden has a chip on his shoulder about some things lately. I know his life has not been so easy a lot of the time. Being the oldest child and witness to some pretty bad stuff in his younger years has given him a lot to process through the years, so i sort of know why he is trying to blame me in a way. I actually think that when he gets older he'll regret the things he said today and has obviously been feeling for a while, but that doesn't help now.

I need to find a way to get him on track and ready to go forward. not wallow in his little pity party he's throwing for himself.

I'm sorry, but ... :lol:

... but seriously? reminds me of me. I was a smart kid allowed to drift along with average work habits. It was only at uni I learned how to make myself knuckle down and get shit done.

Random thought ... would he be interested in joining the army or reserve, going to uni on that? That'd whip him into shape, work habits wise.

(Side thought: bloody hell, I sound soooo middle aged.)

You are middle aged zen. lol. What do you want to sound like?

I would rather he weren't in the armed forces, just cause i am his mother. He's in a program with school where he's guaranteed entry to exercise science at griffith as long as he doesn't fail anything. I think that might be half the problem.

He didn't seem too grumpy when he got home although he did keep to himself. We will talk over the weekend i think.

I think it's a good thing, or a good stage to be going through at least. He's no longer in the youthful denial of, "I'm doing fine, I don't have to work harder to succeed." He's now able to recognize that no, his study habits aren't good, and that's the direct cause of his mediocre grades. Now he's grasping at the last few straws he can find to try to still make it not his fault--"well, maybe it's my own fault, but it's really my mom's fault for making it my fault"--and I think soon after this stage will come real acceptance of full responsibility. I hope so anyway, for your sake Ali. :) My own brother turns 30 this year, and he's still in the "I can skate by and somehow everything will surely work out" stage.

Has it worked for him so far? It kinda infuriates me that for some people, they just skate by and it works for them. Or at least appears to.

Depends on what you consider success. He lives with my mom, and she bankrolls his life for the most part. Gave him her old car, pays for all the maintenance on it. A few years ago she remodeled his room in her house to include a dark room for his photography, which he doesn't really do anymore. These days it's music, and he gets a little money from gigs--the sad thing is he is actually quite talented, but you have to be a lot more than that if you're going to make it big in Austin--but she pays ("invests" ) for the studio time to record his albums, gets him plane tickets to fly to NY to have it professionally mixed by a top-notch engineer, etc.

So yeah, he's not on the street and doesn't worry about grocery money. He's cool with sleeping on a mattress on the floor in our mother's back room, so by that standard it's working well for him so far. Thing is, he has a girlfriend now for the first time in his life. She has a good job, is completely responsible... I don't know what the hell she sees in him, but I love her. And my mom's been remodeling her entire house for several weeks now, so he's had a crash course in living with this girlfriend while there's no water in my mom's house. I can easily see the girlfriend just taking over the payments, as it were.

But she wants a baby, bad. And I think she could probably talk him into it, because he'd figure he could just make it work somehow. And between the girlfriend and my mom, they probably could after all.

Sounds like it's working for him. Maybe they will start a family and he'll be a stay at home dad. Is he responsible enough to care for a kid? Of course, maybe the girlfriend wants that role, and he'll be expected to support a family. That would be a rude awakening.

I'm pretty sure he'd rise to the occasion. He's got way too much invested in not being like our dad, he'd have to work hard at taking care of a kid just to prove how much better of a job he could do. I think it would be a hard adjustment for him, but he would definitely want to do well. He wouldn't be shy about asking for help from me and our mother, though. I suspect he wouldn't be ashamed to outright ask me to babysit the kid every day for free, you know, since I'm already home and all. But the girlfriend would never let him ask. She's got him planning something for Mother's Day for the first time in his life, so clearly she's a good influence on him.

bonus!

Freaking kids are irritating me, and i am still not speaking to my husband. I am going to be posting in the drunk thread tomorrow. Tonight i am going to sleep and they can all get buggered for all i care.

Sorry Ali. That sucks. You should talk to him. Can't resolve this and put it behind you without opening the lines of communication first. Sounds like it's festering and hurting the good vibes for the whole family.

Actually, I think I'd rather divorce him at this stage and never talk to him again. I am very angry.

If I may ask what did he do that was so bad?

Just lots of little things fargon. If I started on the list it'd be like that episode of the simpsons where homer and marg go on that couples retreat to fix their marriage, and when marg is asked what she's upset with her husband about, she's still going on the list 3 hours later.

I suppose some of them are big things. One of them is the lack of time he seems to want to give to us, his family. He works long hours, and I don't begrudge him that, but every second he's not working or sleeping, he goes fishing. While I think it's good that he has a hobby and he enjoys it, I don't think it's too much to ask for a husband to spend a day with me and the kids every once in a while. By once in a while I would be happy with one day a month at this stage, but even that seems to be too much to ask, and I'm sick of asking. That's what sparked the argument last weekend.

Having sufferd a divorce, I don't want you to go thru one. I would suggest writing him a letter, and tell him why you are mad. See if you can get a baby sitter for a weekend to try and re connect with him(my parents did this and it seemed to work)
My own divorce was over her infidelity, and there was no going back after she moved him in and thru me out.
You owe it to your kids to try to keep your marriage together.

You're right fargon, and I wont be the one to walk away even though I'm full of big talk on here. My family means everything to me.

I am just tired of saying the same things. I'm tired of feeling like I'm nagging. I'm tired of begging. Our relationship has been pretty shitty for some time now, and his answer to that is to go fishing. My response is to cling to the kids.

We need to sort it out, but it's not the right time yet. The dust needs to settle after last weekends doozy. Anything I write to him now is not going to come across how I mean it to, and anything I write is likely to be tinged with my anger and frustration anyway, which is not going to help. I know what i need to do. I just have to wait for the right time.

I guess I'm just doing a lot of venting here. I don't usually bring this sort of stuff up on here, but it's just a bit much now. I have to get it out somewhere. Better here than having another argument I guess.

Sounds tiring and frustrating, Ali. But I reckon you're right that timing is probably key to sorting this.

Good luck with it honey, and vent when you need.

Aliantha vent all you want. We are here for you.

Sounds awfully familiar to me. He must feel the need to go fishing and be away for some reason. I think therein lies your answer, not a weekend get-a-way.

A lot of folks suggested to me/us what fargon suggested but at that point it was too late, and even then it didn't address the real problem. While a weekend spent with him may solve your problem, I don't think it addresses what's making him scarce.

No doubt this stress and irritation is taking its toll on you. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Their gradumacation day was yesterday, but the corn holing college kids at the top of my driveway haven't moved out.

Get on, now, boys, time to move on to reality.

Are you sure they all graduated? Undergrad degrees can last 5, 6, 7 years these days... especially with all that important corn-holing to get done each day.

Its not like there is work to do, may as well suspend reality until all the loans come due.

Ursinus tuition is $44,350, so mommy and daddy do have good reason to make sure nobody has a second senior year.

UT, send them this link:

http://events.ursinus.edu/index.php?com=detail&eID=2180

Or use it yourself sometime after midnight :ghost:

Go ahead and vent, Ali. Sometimes the neglect is due to a need to get away, I agree. I think in some cases it can be a manifestation of selfishness that worsens until it becomes toxic. I know a woman whose husband has gone fishing (full time) for their entire 30-year marriage. She worked two jobs and raised the kids. He admits that he does it because he can and he's happy. She's not happy, but she chooses to remain in the marriage.

I suspect that, although communication is needed, a weekend isn't likely to do it. Maybe some couples' counseling? I'm very sorry this is happening.