I hope that works. But they also state: "Requests for excuses from jury service on the basis of such things as "busy at the office" usually cannot be honored."

thats just to weed out the wussies. make a few racially innappropriate statements or espouse a bit on human rights violations ..... you'll be long gone sooner than you imagine.

I think you should do the jury duty if you're able.

If I was in the pokey, innocent, of course, I'd sure want someone as smart, observant and articulate as you, glatt, on the jury. I don't know about the other eleven, but I feel confident that you would see the truth and act accordingly.

You may be in a position to exonerate an unfairly accused citizen. Or you may find yourself doing your part to keep our streets safe. Either way, justice is served. You don't serve jury duty for yourself--you do it for us, all of us. And in your case, I find that very reassuring.

Register Libertarian. It's like wearing garlic around your neck.

I have never been called. Dodged the bullet. Don't really have any desite to serve but would if I had to.

The man should give a talk to all folks, When asked if you can read or write, stick your damn hand up and say "no."

I once got kicked off of a jury pool in DC for briefly nodding off to sleep, and later giggling when the guy next to me leaned his chair back too far. I suggest trying out this combo. The leaning guy got kicked off too, so you ought to have a fairly easy time convincing someone to be your accomplice. I'd say you could try being the leaning guy, but Arlington is a bit more hard-ass than DC, so I wouldn't want you to get in trouble for starting crap (don't bring this up to your leaner of course).

My sister-in-law. She is rapidly barrelling toward spinsterhood, and is upset by this but is doing absolutely nothing about it--yet she and my mother-in-law literally live in this dream world where at any moment she could be married with children. (The most recent example: my MIL asked for some DVDs for Christmas because the ones she has actually belong to my SIL--who lives with her--and "eventually she'll be moving out to start her family and taking them with her." Talk about denial.) The really frustrating thing is that despite my bitching, she really is a very nice girl. The problem is she can't seem to do anything but wait and wait for the perfect thing to fall right into her lap, and as a result hasn't been on a date in ten years.

SO, when my friend who lives in her city mentioned that he has a single coworker (specifically, a police officer) who is her age, Christian, and also suffers from perpetual "nice guy" syndrome, I thought it was a perfect opportunity to pass his information along. Her response?

"What kind of Christian is he? I would need to know, otherwise why would I waste my time?"

Yes, why indeed. Your time is very precious, clearly you have far too many suitors to be able to actually have a conversation with each one of them and determine for yourself whether you have anything in common. Jesus H. Christ. So now I get to ask my friend precisely what church his coworker goes to, and since I am really nice I am even pretending it is ME asking, and that I haven't even passed the information along yet--because it would be a shame if he decided she was a nitpicky block of ice before ever even meeting her.

No good deed goes unpunished, Clodfobble.

You cant pick your nose with false fingernails

There's an upcoming Denzel movie coming out called The Great Debaters.

Come on Hollywood, this is Denzel! And you can't come up with a better movie title??????

Norad Tracks Santa has sold out to Google and sucks this year.

My breath smells.
And instead of doing something sensible about it like cleaning my teeth, I just keep scrunching up my face and sniffing my top lip, to verify the fact that yes, it still smells.

Oh and I had chicken for lunch and am now drinking pop. So I am doing really meaty burps.

Mmmm nice :P

Thanks for that mental image SG.