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Weird Loo Behavior....
We call the toilet a loo down here, and if you are trying to be a bogan, the *dunny*.
I work with....
Do you mind pooping if you are in a public toilet and there are other people there? Do you mind if you let a big fart rip? Do you try and pee quietly? (probably more for those of us who sit down to pee) Is there any other weird bathroom stuff that I should know about? Like Flint's wang + toilet roll thing? Here's a couple of little things to play with.....(1st link is a flash thingie and the 2nd is a game) Toilet Etiquette The Urinal Game Oh and are there any of us into *Water Sports*? Like golden showers etc? |
The entire post is just cover for your real question snuck in at the end, isn't it?:cool:
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Will I be sorry if I ask how you know so much about the bathroom habits of your male cow-orkers?
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Is bogan pronounced bog-ann or boe-gan?
1) I prefer to crap at home (sometimes I even use the loo), but if needs be i'll plaster the seat with paper and poop in public. 2) Yes, I mind. I like to save the really noisy ones for comic effect and they don't happen too often, so I get annoyed if I waste one.... 3) No, I deliberately pee noisily to assert my non-feminineness. plus I don't sit, which makes the quiet option likely to result in a mopping-up operation.... 4) probably. But not mine. Do you have any cow orkers who make straining noises? Is reading matter provided by the management? Any flushophobes on staff? 5) no, i have enough problems with my children peeing in their beds. |
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boe-gan.
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There used to be porn, but I threw it all in the bin when one of the boys was spending too much time in there during lunch and I found a suspicious *thing* on the floor. Our sales*boys* are very proud of their...err....makings, so they will often leave them for others to find. |
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Shittiest. Thread. Ever. :D
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I always wondered whether it was more polite to poo at work.
I decided it was - it didn't use up the shared toilet paper (an issue in my last house-share) and co-workers have other options if you've laid a really noisome log. In the end it was my body clock that decided it - I had to get up so fearsomely early that my body didn't wake up until I got to work. So I left 5 mins earlier and made the toilet my first port of call. At my last job, people would go to different floors to poo. There was a young Muslim girl who worked on the 1st floor, who was always in our toilets straightening her hijab, and my colleague & I suspected her of being a sneaky poo-monger. I got into conversation with her one day and it turns out she came down simply to use the mirror in our toilet - because the 1st floor smelled so bad. She seemed genuine enough to make us feel guilty for the silent aspersions we'd cast for months. Btw I never cover the toilet seat or hover in public toilets. I'm still alive. I feel a bit dirty admitting it though. If I have to poo in a public toilet I will wait until anyone who may have heard it has left. Silly, but true. I always resented gaggles of girls who came in to do their makeup, feeling that they did tiny droppings like rabbits and I was very manly with no make up to correct and big turds. I would also try to ease a fart out quietly, but am secretly delighted when someone else lets off a corker when I'm in there. More than once I've only given my hands a cursory wash because I've had a fit of the giggles at someone else's wind. How very childish. |
I love you SG and I am soooooooooooo glad you are back!!!!!
I dont hover or cover either and I am still alive with no..err...issues. hahaha, I have gotten the giggles over other peoples big farts, worse still....my own. You know, you try and sneak one out, and its comes out LOUD, I get the giggles, but try and palm it off as someone else when I get out. |
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My quirk is I'll go to the nice bathroom on the top floor of my building. It is fancy because our clients might potentially use it. Lots of very polished marble on all the surfaces. It has many stalls because the meeting rooms are up there, and if a bathroom break comes up, it must accommodate a large crowd. 7 stalls instead of the 2 on other floors. Most of the time it's a beautiful empty place. Very clean. Around lunch time it's busy. The other bathrooms always have little bits of torn TP on the floor and puddles of water here and there. Cramped. Dirty.
So yeah, I'll go to a different floor to take care of business. If someone sits in the stall next to me, I feel like they are violating my sanctuary, but I deal. |
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My father use to turn the faucet on - either to help or cover up any noise - go figure
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I mostly just sit there and tap my foot. What?
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I'm normally too shy to post something like this, but it seems appropriate for this thread. Here are some definitions:
Ghost Shit You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl. Teflon Coated Shit Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it! Gooey Shit This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet. Second Thought Shit You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard. Bali Belly Shit You shit so much you lose 5 kilos. Right Now Shit You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down. King Kong or Commode Choker Shit This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house. Wet Cheeks Shit This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet. Wish Shit You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit! Cement Block or Oh God Shit You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit. Snake Shit This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long. Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit) Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house. Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers) You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning. Beer Drunk Shit This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house. The Frightened Turtle The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in The Bungee Shit The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water. The Ring of Fire Shit The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter. The Crippler The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down. The Big Bobber The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface. The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam. The Incredible Hulk Shit The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size. The Jack the Ripper Shit The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out. The Party Pooper The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise. The Toxic Gas Shit The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall off the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town. Dirty Bowl Shit The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl. The Windy City Shit When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit. Oh Shit! Shit You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT! The Never Ending Shit It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pee, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Ouch That Hurt Shit The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours. |
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