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-   -   using Ignore Lists - in real life (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=10493)

Flint 04-12-2006 10:28 AM

using Ignore Lists - in real life
 
A device I employ liberally, in real life, is roughly analogous to the Ignore List feature. This is how it works: you speak your mind, without mincing words, without sugar-coating things, without dumbing things down - and those that either don't understand or don't agree with what you are saying will not want to talk to you anymore. They put you on their metaphorical Ignore List - mission accomplished. You save the time you would have spent dealing with them. It's a natural culling process. Everyone benefits.

SteveBsjb 04-12-2006 11:01 AM

Darwin would have liked this.

smoothmoniker 04-12-2006 11:01 AM

Those who are brutally honest usually like the brutality more than the honesty.

SteveBsjb 04-12-2006 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker
Those who are brutally honest usually like the brutality more than the honesty.

Did you coin this phrase?

lumberjim 04-12-2006 11:26 AM

bullshit

Happy Monkey 04-12-2006 11:27 AM

Sorta sounds like a rationalization for being a jerk...

FallenFairy 04-12-2006 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
They put you on their metaphorical Ignore List - mission accomplished. You save the time you would have spent dealing with them. It's a natural culling process. Everyone benefits.

wouldn't it be just as easy to walk up to them and say -
"Hey! You suck - don't talk to me anymore" :eyebrow:

smoothmoniker 04-12-2006 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveBsjb
Did you coin this phrase?

I don't think so, but I have no idea where I might have heard it.

Flint 04-13-2006 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker
Those who are brutally honest usually like the brutality more than the honesty.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim
bullshit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
Sorta sounds like a rationalization for being a jerk...


Quote:

Originally Posted by FallenFairy
wouldn't it be just as easy to walk up to them and say -
"Hey! You suck - don't talk to me anymore"

I don't think y'all are catching the intended spirit of this idea.

Let me give you an example: If someone wants to talk to me about how Toby Keith is a true patriot or that the liberal media conspiracy is undermining the moral fiber of America, I can simply say something about Quantum Physics or whether they prefer Vietnamese cuisine to Thai cuisine. They will probably be either confused or vaguely offended (scenario #1), or maybe they will have some meaningful contribution on the subject (scenario #2). Results:

(scenario #1) Their eyes glaze over and they slowly back away. They go find another neandethal with which they can drink beer and shout profanities.

(scenario #2) We find a middle ground and have a pleasant conversation.

. . . Either way, everyone benefits by being themselves.

Spexxvet 04-13-2006 10:42 AM

Hey Flint...do you prefer Thai cuisine or Vietnamese cuisine? :p

PS - do you think you're on a lot of people's "ignore list"?

Flint 04-13-2006 11:02 AM

@Spexxvet: I prefer Thai Curry, but Vietneamese Spring Rolls. Have you ever had a Japanese Curry?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet
do you think you're on a lot of people's "ignore list"?

Maybe so, maybe not. Either way - it's beyond my power to influence the perceptions experienced inside the heads of other people, and I make it a policy not to worry about things I have no control over.

lumberjim 04-13-2006 11:03 AM

i said 'bullshit' because i don't think you really do this in real life as you stated.

Flint 04-13-2006 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
speak your mind, without mincing words, without sugar-coating things, without dumbing things down

@lumberjim: I absolutely do communicate that way. I suggest everybody try it. And, why would I lie about it? Which part of it do you find hard to believe? This is just common sense to me.

dar512 04-13-2006 11:21 AM

I think you have misinterpreted people's reaction. People slowly back away because they assume you are nuts. This is an understandable reaction to a huge non-sequitur.

"So how about that cubs game, Bob?"
Bob replies, "The human head weighs eight pounds, Fred."

I'm sure people are backing slowly away.

Flint 04-13-2006 11:25 AM

@dar512: I'm glad they think I'm nuts. I am nuts. If they are nuts too then we will get along famously. If not, well, maybe both of us could find somebody better to talk to.

dar512 04-13-2006 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
I'm glad they think I'm nuts. I am nuts.

Ok. Now I've got to go along with LJ. This is a pose.

Flint 04-13-2006 11:35 AM

Why would it be? What have I got to lose? All I can be is myself.

lumberjim 04-13-2006 11:38 AM

or you could be someone really cool. like a hard ass that shoots from the hip, and gets all the chicks. please. your whole vibe smacks of effort.

dar512 04-13-2006 11:43 AM

Oh, there's lots of possible reasons for taking a pose. I don't know you well enough to speculate.

But I find it hard to believe that anyone prefers for people to think they are crazy.

dar512 04-13-2006 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
All I can be is myself.

BTW this chant is getting old. It's a cop-out. You are who you choose to be.

Flint 04-13-2006 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512
You are who you choose to be.

I agree 100% with that. Another example of what I consider to be common sense.


I don't see conflicts or contradictions that y'all are perceiving. That is, because I am me, I know who I am, and I am comfortable with myself. Because I am me, I know how I act, for what reasons, etc. - and logic dictates that I am the final judge on subjective interpretations of my internal motivations, etc. (notwithstanding the fact that you are welcome to make observations of my behavior based on the limited bits of text you have as an indicator of what makes me tick - which I am basically inviting by making threads like this)

The unanswered question is what specifically do you find hard to believe about this? What specifically about this appears to be posturing, IE what could I hope to gain by making false statements about myself to strangers on the internet?

lumberjim 04-13-2006 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
IE what could I hope to gain by making false statements about myself to strangers on the internet?

Did you really just ask that?

Flint 04-13-2006 12:09 PM

Dude, you quoted it, you tell me.

Undertoad 04-13-2006 12:16 PM

Either you're lying here, or you're lying in "Every Person Has Value!" where you say
Quote:

"every person has value"? that's my schtick. you beat me to it!
and
Quote:

What if you step outside your own perspective, and see the world through someone else's eyes, and you realize that they're a complete f**king idiot?

Then you haven't stepped outside your own persepctive. Try again.
Your approach two days ago was that subjectivism requires us to appreciate others' point of view by actually trying to understand their perspective.

Your approach today suggests that you rudely write off entire people you disagree with by violating social convention. It's OK to be a dick to people who don't share your values or sense of style.

Flint 04-13-2006 12:20 PM

That's a very argumentative interpretation. I could do the post-by-post rebuttal thing, but, nah.

dar512 04-13-2006 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
The unanswered question is what specifically do you find hard to believe about this? What specifically about this appears to be posturing, IE what could I hope to gain by making false statements about myself to strangers on the internet?

You appear to be fairly rational, at least as much as you can tell on a board. Yet you profess to intentionally use behavior which is counter-productive. Making sure that co-workers think you are crazy will not enhance your career, whatever it may be. Making sure that all your friends are nuts will not result in a useful support network in times of need.

So either you are a poser who wants us to think he's a loose cannon, or you really are the kind of nut who does stuff that sabotages their own life.

Flint 04-13-2006 12:37 PM

@dar512: Or you haven't understood what I meant.

Undertoad 04-13-2006 12:38 PM

No rebuttal needed, it is my answer to your question of what specifically about this appears to be posturing.

dar512 04-13-2006 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
@dar512: Or you haven't understood what I meant.

Nah. Your meaning is pretty clear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
I'm glad they think I'm nuts. I am nuts. If they are nuts too then we will get along famously. If not, well, maybe both of us could find somebody better to talk to.

Not too many ways to read that.

Most folks here say what's on their mind and leave it at that. You may not agree with them or like them, but at least you know where you stand. Since you ask, my best guess at this point is that you like to play mind games.

MaggieL 04-13-2006 01:05 PM

Surely someone who claims never to be posturing is striking the "I never posture, dig how authentic I am" pose. :-)

Elspode 04-13-2006 01:18 PM

Maggie...Flint could be *pretending* to posture that he never postures, you know, in order to be cooler than cool. He could be so cool that he shits dry ice, baby.

Flint 04-13-2006 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512
Not too many ways to read that.

Come on, ways to read things are like snowflakes, man.

capnhowdy 04-13-2006 01:37 PM

excuse me.
explanation: threads that are blantantly contradictory= lots of people who diagree or call bullshit= lots of argumentative posts= larger post count on the thread= BUMP.
another Brown Thrasher?

Flint 04-13-2006 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
No rebuttal needed, it is my answer to your question of what specifically about this appears to be posturing.


Good answer, I didn't catch that. You followed my "appears to be" qualifier with your "suggests that" qualifier. That puts us both in the clear.

Bonus points awarded.

dar512 04-13-2006 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
Come on, ways to read things are like snowflakes, man.

Some convoluted stuff, sure. But that was clear and straightforward writing.

Flint 04-13-2006 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy
...threads that are blantantly contradictory...

Is there a blatant contradiction here? Where? I don't think there is.

(btw: I thought I was on your Ignore List)

Spexxvet 04-13-2006 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
I don't see conflicts or contradictions that y'all are perceiving.

How about this conflict:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
This is how it works: you speak your mind, without mincing words, without sugar-coating things, without dumbing things down - and those that either don't understand or don't agree with what you are saying will not want to talk to you anymore.

[quote=Flint] If someone wants to talk to me about how Toby Keith is a true patriot or that the liberal media conspiracy is undermining the moral fiber of America, I can simply say something about Quantum Physics or whether they prefer Vietnamese cuisine to Thai cuisine. They will probably be either confused or vaguely offended (scenario #1), or maybe they will have some meaningful contribution on the subject (scenario #2). [/QUOTE

Above, you admit that acted in a way that was meant to cause a response. So when you say:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
it's beyond my power to influence the perceptions experienced inside the heads of other people, and I make it a policy not to worry about things I have no control over.

You are talking out your ass. Or just posing in one instance or the other. :p

Flint 04-13-2006 03:45 PM


@Spexxvet: Could you please come back and close that quote? It's really bugging me! (I won't knock you for the late edit, see I made one here, too!)

MaggieL 04-13-2006 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
Come on, ways to read things are like snowflakes, man.

No...one snowflake is seldom qualitiatively different from the others.

Fortunately in most cases "ways to read something" are like 50 quintillion snowflakes and one 200 lb block of ice. One of them kind of stands out in the crowd.

After all, if there were always a myriad of equiprobable "ways to read something", trying to communicate would be futile and pointless. You wouldn't be trying to make that happen, of course. That would make you powerless to influence people's perceptions. Kind of like shooting yourself in the foot so you could use a handicapped parking space.

MaggieL 04-13-2006 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
(btw: I thought I was on your Ignore List)

Perhaps you don't know how the ignore list works.

But of course you don't care whose list you're on.

Sure you don't.

That's why you keep asking. :-)

Flint 04-13-2006 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieL
That's why you keep asking. :-)

It's only when someone makes a huge deal out of letting me know that they are putting me on ignore that I have to wonder why they keep responding to me. That is curious, hmmm?

marichiko 04-13-2006 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint
Come on, ways to read things are like snowflakes, man.

Right. And no single snowflake considers itself responsible for the avalanche (- from the Demotivator's site).*

BTW, you can have someone on ignore and still select the option of reading any one of their individual posts. I'm not sure why people do this, since it ignores the entire concept of "ignore," but I guess some folks just can't resist peeking. I don't have anyone on ignore at the moment except that rabble rouser Kitsune.**



*OK, so I changed the wording slightly, so sue me! ;)










**:lol: JOKE, Kitsune!

SteveBsjb 04-13-2006 05:57 PM

I think it's bullshit that no two snowflakes are alike.

marichiko 04-13-2006 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveBsjb
I think it's bullshit that no two snowflakes are alike.

Nope, its quite true.

:tux:

MaggieL 04-13-2006 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marichiko
I'm not sure why people do this, since it ignores the entire concept of "ignore," ...

Because the default becomes to not read posts from the target, which then take up only minimal screen real estate.

But if they should appear to actually be engaging in real dialog (instead of simply manifesting logorrhea or Spasmodic Posting Syndrome), you can still see what's going on. The target's blather doesn't gain eyeballs by default, but can still have bullshit called on them on occasion.

Or just possibly earn their way out of Siberia by making their posts worth reading. You never know...the horse might sing.

Spexxvet 04-14-2006 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

@Spexxvet: Could you please come back and close that quote? It's really bugging me! (I won't knock you for the late edit, see I made one here, too!)

Something's wrong - I don't have an edit button. :sniff: In the meantime, care to address the substance of my post?

FYREDEUS 04-15-2006 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512
Oh, there's lots of possible reasons for taking a pose. I don't know you well enough to speculate.

But I find it hard to believe that anyone prefers for people to think they are crazy.

I definitely prefer for people to think I'm crazy...especially all my shrinks who've kept telling me I'm sane ;)

Cheyenne 04-15-2006 06:50 AM

I find it a simple task to ignore the knuckle draggers at my work. I simply lock my door and they are not welcome to enter unless they knock. I have two windows that look out into the equipment area, on the window, which looks out onto common equipment; i blocked the view with a poster of Jerry Garcia. Otherwise if no poster...it is like i am on display when they enter the front door.

Ahhhh, solitude...i love it :)


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