Dreaming...and sharing the details
 

Could a dream be more than just a dream?

If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern?

I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell.

This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her?

Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

~Thanks

Weeeell--I once called my second husband by my first husband's name but I was awake and vertical at the time.

This is a tricky one. How can we be held responsible for our subconcious (or, even dreaming) mind?

Dreams can mean anything. Maybe you are dreaming this because it's true and some part of your mind is picking up on it. Then again, maybe you are dreaming this because something in your life makes you feel powerless, and this dream is a manifestation of that feeling. Maybe the dream is just a dream.

I think you should talk to this guy. Talk to him about your emotional distance. Talk to him about the great sex. Tell him about your dream, and tell him you were wondering about it. Just talk to the guy. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. You will get more answers than from a message board.

How long have you two been partners? What does "partners" mean, anyway?

Hang on--you dreamed that he was calling out for another woman? Or he was dreaming, and you heard him call out this other woman's name in his sleep?

Good question. I just went back and re-read it. Could be either way, but I probably misread it.

Either way, your advice was good. :)

Jealousy is a dangerous thing... based in mistrust. There is my thought.
It is a dream... :rolleyes:

He was sleeping. I was coming to bed. He called out for this woman to come to bed. Through out the rest of the night he continued to call for her...4 more times in about 5 hours.

To answer the partner question; He is my husband; we have been married for 10years and dated 5years before that. I used the wording "partner" so I wouldn’t exclude anyone.

Rationally I cannot be upset with him about this. Yet there is still that little voice inside saying, “Yeah, but what if?” I’ll follow the wonderful advice of Glatt and simply talk without accusing him of anything. It's probably nothing.

You don't have to be overly pc here, if he's your husband then you won't make anyone feel bad by saying so. You say it's not the first time this has happened, do you know who the woman might be? If he's been stressed out at work (could account for the emotional distance) she might be someone he works closely with and depends on for important stuff. Just saying there are plenty of possibilities besides those that might spring quickly to mind.

The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams. He would set the alarm for 2:30am and hope to be able to become semi-aroused in a dream state (not sexually) and be able to control his dreams and do "anything at all". It was very important to him and he would disturb my sleep. Idiot.

Separate bedroom for that guy.

You just reminded me of the one time my husband called me by another name... I thought he was awake, and I was talking to him as I was coming to bed and he was responding quite clearly. I only realized he was basically still asleep when he called me the other woman's name. I was horribly hurt for about three seconds, until I remembered that the name he was calling me was the name of a server at his work that had had a hard drive failure the day before. :)

Wouldn't he have been better off by trying to have lucid awake periods first?

I love lucid dreaming, I didnt know it was called lucid dreaming until a few months back, but its seriously cool to be aware alter your dreams and lead them where you want.

I tried to make that happen to no avail. Neither did the addiction and mental health institute have any luck with him. ALL of his things are still here, in my garage....his computers, tools, books, etc. even his car. He only has clothes.
I divorced him 3 years ago with a permanent restraining order and he never took the rest of his stuff. So he must be incapacitated still, alcoholic wise or just freaky wise.

Ducknuts, I never believed his lucid dream stuff.....but you say you can do it.
Is it just the short period when you are waking up???

I've had a few, rare lucid dreams. The best one was when I could fly. I was aware that I was dreaming and that I couldn't normally 'fly', but was delighted at the dream and experimented with my capablilities. At one point, a storm was bearing down on me, so I changed direction and sped up to avoid it. I was able to swoop down, fly into crevices and tunnels, stop when I wanted and adjust my elevation. I remember thinking how different everything looked from up there and following a road along when it suddenly occured to me that since i could fly, I didn't have to take the long route...I could zoom straight across everything...to hell with the road! Very cool.

Stormie

A while back Mrs CF was on some medication that had the side effect of creating vivid and 'realistic' dreams. Those were strange nights resulting in interrupted (and usually startled) slumber for yours truly.

The first I'd know about these hallucinations was when my wife became either very vocal or else started moving about a lot. To give an example or three....

I was awoken one night (actually the first time the dreams happened) by my wife suddenly sitting bolt upright, waving her arms around and shouting: 'Look out for the plastic! look out for the plastic! ' after which she promptly lay down again and continued with her usual snoring. Meantime I was left toatally awake and wondering what the hell was happening ...

The next morning she remembered the dream but not the sitting up and shouting bit. She had been walking across a field and, looking up at the sky, she noticed that all the clouds had turned to plastic film and were now starting to fall earthwards towards children who were playing in the field. So naturally she shouted and waved to warn them....

Then there was the time I was awoken to the sound of my wife crashing around the bedroom - first against the dressing table next to her side of the bed, and then bumpily heading through an adjacent archway and then banging her way through the door inside the archway that leads to the bathroom. By this time I was used to these disturbances, but not to this particular walking bumping result. Anyway, she woke up in the bathroom as she turned the light on.

Seems in this dream she had been aboard a ship in a bad storm and finding the boat beginning to fill with water she'd decided to make her way along the corridor below decks to try to escape. she came to a bulkhead that was blocking her way so banged against it wit her fists and it luckily gave. Behind the bulkhead door it was dark so she reached towards a light switch on the wall and turned the light on...

Last but not least, I was woken by a scream and just managed to stop her, out of bed and about to lob a silver hand mirror through the glass of the bedroom window.

In her dream, she had found herself encased in a sealed glass room and air was running out. She foud a metal bar on the floor and was about to throw it to break the glass when I interrupted her and woke her up.

Luckily she no longer takes the offending tablets, and, while she did, I always used to check that she hadn't taken a knife to bed before we dropped off to sleep!

Wow, Cylcefrance, that sounds like it was quite an adventure, when you didn't want to be having one.

When I get sick and have a fever, I have dreams just like that, except im usually half-awake so its more like a reeeeal bad trip. It's like, take a dream, then overlay it on whats actually there, then turn off all speech controls in my head... I wander around mumbling and yelling about nothing, freaking the fuck out at stuff that isnt even there.

Sparkie, I can lucid dream anytime during the nite, but have been doing it for years. I even wake up, think about the dream, decide where I want it to lead, go back to sleep and then continue on.

All that said, I'm not the best sleeper (without some kind of aid) so never fall into a totally deep deep sleep.

Would you say it's night time "daydreaming"?

This should be a Cellar tagline. And, it occurs to me that we may finally have an explanation for Dan Rather's attacker shouting, "Whats the frequency, Kenneth."

Perhaps, but the server was named after someone, wasn't it?

I thought that Spider Robinson covered that one.

Hmmm, not really, because often the dreams start off all random and almost nitemarish ....but I can easily turn them around and make the ending what I like.

Its just that I am consciously changing the way my dream runs, rather than being a passenger.

Sure, some television show character, maybe from Seinfeld? All of the servers had a theme, which was chosen before he started working there.

I sometimes have this experience where I am wide awake, aware fof everything in the room, sounds outside, etc etc. trying like mad to fall asleep, really pissed that I can't sleep, tossing and turning, the whole bit and SWMBO will tell me to stop snoring and trun over.

It's weird. I was sure I was a wake, it's not restful.

I have lucid dreams usually right before I wake up- Kind of like daydreaming except instead of imagining it you're really experiencing it!

Usually they happen becuase the alarm has gone of and I've hit snooze but I'm not quite sleeping.

Fever dreams are the opposite- you're aware that you're dreaming but you can't wake up and you can't control the dream. They're horrible.

Has anyone ever dreamt that they woke up and got completely ready for work, possibly even left for work, and then really woken up?

Not only that, I went through my complete work day. I woke up just as I was getting home. I woke up and realized I had to do it all again, I was not happy.

I find that if I'm hungover and dreading getting up I dream I'm already doing it. It's so frustrating to get half way to work and wake up!

I have certain dream scenarios that make me think, "Am I dreaming?" which should be a giveaway in its own right as I never think that in my waking life. These include finding lots of coins - pounds and pounds in change - having to pull myself along rather than walk normally and everything I look at being too bright.

These are all early morning dreams when the light is already hitting my face.

I'm dreaming right now that I'm on the Cellar. It's weird, though, because I have more control over this dream than usual.

Now I'm going to go tell my boss what I think of him. This should be fun.

You go glatt! Let's hope you still have a job when you wake up ;)

The most annoying kind of dream is dreaming that you know you have some sort of ability- flying, telekenesis, whatever, and not being able to use it for some weird reason.

I used to be good at the lucid dreaming stuff. I could fly around and land at will. Thing is, I had to have one of those little handheld, battery-powered fans in my hand. If I pushed the button and pointed it at the ground, up I'd go. Turning the fan too far away from the ground caused a stomach-flopping loss of altitude, and if you didn't time it right, you landed HARD.

For some reason, it only worked in my back yard.

I did go off the edge of a cliff on a motorcycle once. While I was falling, the bike went away and I drifted down into the middle of a picnic where my family was.

I lucid dream a lot, actually... and I also have a LOT of that whole incorporating sounds and stuff around you into the dream thing, too. I sleep with music on every night, and the end effect is one of having a dream soundtrack, prettymuch. I've always got music playing in my dreams.

You don't need the music playing to have a soundtrack to your dreams. You've got plenty of music in your head. :D

Yes, and to be honest I DO always have some kind of music boppin' around in there, whether I'm listening to it or not, but my point was that when I sleep listening to music, I can still hear it.

Sure, haven't you seen the ads for learning a foreign language while you sleep, by listening to recordings? :lol:

Well I know I know the words to just about every song on my computer, and seeing how I have over 4250 songs, thats a lot of lyrics.